Happy Podcast Day! -- Game Theory FTW Edition

Gadzooks! This has been a week full of crazy news (albeit, the week after GDC) and things are certainly looking up for our favorite, though still too expensive, console -- except for that whole Phil Harrison quitting thing. The folks over at Game Theory are hinting at the possibility of Mr. Harrison being a special guest on this week's podcast, which could certainly be...revealing. Anyways, big ups go to them for actually making an effort to practice journalism. The usuals are as follows...listen for a special announcement from Wombat on the CAGcast this week (though not gaming related.)

Joystiq Podcast (feat. Chris Grant, Ludwig Kietzmann and Justic McElroy)
The CAGcast (feat. CheapyD and Wombat)
The 1UP Show and 1UP Yours Podcast (feat. Garnett Lee, Shane Bettenhausen, Bryan Intihar, and Shawn Elliott)

Oh, and seriously, Jeff Gerstmann, Ryan Davis and Alex Navarro (all ex-GameSpot'ers) have started a podcast called, "Arrow Pointing Down" and you should be listening to it. Who says readers don't follow writers? And, again, Viva La Revolucion!

Signs of the Apocalypse: Washington Post Adds Gaming Room

Oh newsprint, you confound me so. Us here at QP know as well as anyone on this large set of interconnected tubes that media and journalism is changing. From a strictly environmental perspective, we need to stop using all this damned paper! From a business perspective, our print brothers and sisters are suffering growing losses, forced to adapt or die (like so many dot-com enterprises before them.) From a reader's perspective, well, you're reading this right now on a computer -- not on paper. It's faster, right? It is -- we promise.

Anyways! We're seeing the fallout of this trend all over the place these days -- sometimes for the better, sometimes for the worse. Sometimes though, it's just plain strange. That's right, the Washington Post (yes, that Washington Post) has apparently added a, "game room" to their offices (a la the "dot-com-style workplace.") This room, containing, "Wii, air hockey, and foosball", is meant for keeping spirits high, especially when news like this is being reported on Yahoo! Finance.

Apparently, the gaming room is a result of the newly appointed publisher, Katharine Weymouth. A little digging on Ms. Weymouth revealed some interesting points, good ones at that.

Regarding her new position: "My approach is going to be to talk to as many people as I can at both [the business and internet side] and get a feel from there what works well separately, what doesn’t."

Her boss, CEO Don Graham, in the same interview, spoke of Weymouth's new job, regarding the digital space:

"[The digital space is] a big part of our future."
"[Her new job is to manage the] transition from a world we know very well to a world that's changing."

This kind of thing is happening all over the place folks, even at enthusiast press outlets. Will gaming journalism become journalism? Will the print media (even our own enthusiast press) go, "the way of the dodo?" The future is unwritten!

Join us next time for our new weekly section, Signs of the Apocalypse. Hey, the world's gotta end sooner or later, right?

MGS4 Release Date....Released [UPDATED}

A bit late with the major announcements, today Sony detailed plans for an 80gb PS3 coming in June for $499 -- with a copy of Metal Gear Solid 4 as well as a hot off the factory line DualShock 3. Oh snap! Did they just announce the release date?! Let's go with...sort of. Here's the breakdown:

-Sony says there's a bundle with MGS4 in it, coming in June.
-Sony announces plans for a, "Metal Gear Online Starter Pack"with pre-orders of MGS4...

"For those eager to take on Solid Snake's nemesis, Liquid Ocelot, a nationwide pre-sell promotion will enable gamers to pre-order Metal Gear Solid 4: Guns of the Patriots and be guaranteed access to a multiplayer beta test for Metal Gear Online scheduled for late April."

Seriously folks, press releases really read like this. But wait, there's more!

-Though Sony has confirmed June as the launch month for MGS4's PS3 bundle, they're more vague with regards to an actual day...

"...to coincide with the much-anticipated North American launch of Metal Gear Solid 4: Guns of the Patriots in late Q2 2008."

For those who were wondering, Sony is actually giving you a deal with the $499 price tag for all three items:

Current Price for 80gb PS3 (w/ Motorstorm): $599 or $499 (Used for $449)
Current Price for Sixaxis (we know, we know -- the new pack comes with a DualShock 3): $50
Current Price for DualShock 3: $55 (when it's released, not imported from Japan)
Projected MGS4 Price: $60

Even with the cheapest combination of all of those, you're still getting a deal from this bundle. However, $500 is a hell of a lot of money still -- at least to this intrepid writer. How about y'all? We here at QP certainly know one lady who has already fallen under their press releases' spell. Is this enough of a deal to get you hoppin' on the Sony money train?

[UPDATE]: Konami has publicly announced a June 12, 2008 release date for MGS4, as well as confirming the pre-order bonus. Unfortunately, they announced this through a press release, and thus, you get the Joystiq link above. Oh well. We tried -- promise.

(via The Enemy)

QP Review: XNA Creators Club Demos

Let's sit down and talk, QP'ers. Let's talk about poor design. Let's talk about the XNA Creators Club Game Launcher. This is a great example of how a really good idea can get rushed, ruined and, erm, (w)recked. The picture below serves as proof:

(Note the Y-button command in the lower left -- 'cause no one would notice it otherwise.)

You may be wondering to yourself, "But that's just a normal download screen on XBLA, QP. WTFOMG4EVZ!" Relax, relax. It's so much more complicated than that. You see, much like you, when we first downloaded the XNA Creators Club Launcher, we were perplexed as to how to download the actual games. Though our collective years only equal a single elderly person, we here at QP would like to think of ourselves as at least somewhat technically savvy (I installed a 32X at one point in my life.)

Regardless, after looking on MajorNelson's helpful site, we were able to download the newly released XNA demos -- and boy are our brains tired. Though the navigation to download the games on XLBA is pretty bonked, the games themselves downloaded quickly. That's where the disappointment ended.

There were seven games released as demos through this XNA Creators Club program on XBLA:
1 - The Dishwasher (by James Silva, U.S.A.)
2 - Little Gamers (by Loic Dansart, Belgium)
3 - Jelly Car (by "Walaber," U.S.A.)
4 - Rocketball (Fuel 'N Spark Games, U.S.A.)
5 - ProximityHD (Brian Cable, U.S.A.)
6 - TriLinea (Edison Prata, Brazil)
7 - Culture (Hidden Path Entertainment, U.S.A.)

You were only supposed to be able to download these titles through Sunday, February 24th, but this press release went out today, extending the ability until tonight, February 26th, at midnight PST. But stop! Don't rush over to your 360 and excitedly start downloading these free demos. Why wouldn't you, you ask? Oh, cause they're godawful. The Dishwasher stands out among them as the only one that felt like a game -- otherwise you're better off sticking to the QP Casual Monday roundup.

Seriously though, I played every one of them. They're not good. For free. Think about that.

Casual Monday: Aperture Science Edition

Though some of us have already mentioned a Portal flash game earlier in the week, much like most of the gaming community, we here at QPHQ fell fast and hard for Valve's three hour lovechild. And though we're not much for ARG's normally, this week's casual game is most certainly one of those.

We're quite inclined to let you do some searching yourself (around the Enrichment Center, of course) for the login and password -- but given we weren't exactly such astute observers ourselves the first time, we'll give you this:

1.) Click on the area blinking to allow you to type text.
2.) Type, 'login'
3.) For Username, type, 'CJOHNSON'
4.) For Password, type, 'TIER3'

You're on your own from there, dearest reader. If you don't have any knowledge of basic MS-DOS commands (or UNIX for that matter), then you may have a bit of a problem. Otherwise, read the entirety of, 'NOTES.EXE.' It's hilarious.

Super-Secret PS3 Game to be Released in 2009

Darren Waters over at the BBC's jolly good dot.life blog apparently was shown several games that are in the works for the PlayStation 3, including sequels to Motorstorm and Resistance Fall of Man, as well as a trailer for another game not due out until next year that's under tight wraps:

"In fact, the game is such a secret that when I mentioned the game to Phil Harrison last week he was unsure at first whether even to admit the title existed. When I explained I had been shown it under strict Non Disclosure Agreement terms he looked relieved.

I don't mean to be a tease - all I can say is that I was left speechless.
If the footage I was shown truly is "in game", as told to me by the Sony PR people, then we could be on the brink of a step change in what games consoles are capable of in terms of story-telling and immersion."

Hmm, interesting! I'll admit that the first thing that came to mind when I read this was the fabled and oft-discussed Final Fantasy VII remake. It seems to me if it were a completely new IP that no one knew anything about, they wouldn't need to be so secretive about it because no one would really care until details were released. Like, "We were shown this game called What-the-fuck-ever, it looks absolutely amazing." If we don't know what What-the-fuck-ever is, why would we necessarily care? The fact that it's mindblowing is not the secret, the fact of what it is is the secret, which makes me think it's something we already are familiar with but maybe aren't necessarily expecting.

Also, he notes that "Sony just wanted to give a glimpse of what the console will be capable of." Sounds kind of like that fancy tech demo of the beginning of FFVII that was shown back at E3 2005 to "show the PS3's power."

This is 100% fangirlish speculation on my part, and I'm probably wrong. But who knows! Hopefully whatever it is will be announced to the public soon enough.

Can't Get Enough Of That Portal Stuff?

www.addictinggames.com has a Flash version of Portal up on their website. Enjoy and Good Luck.

But look at me still typing, when there's science to be done...

Happy Podcast Day! -- GDC Edition

It's been a busy week folks, we're not gonna lie. There's just a hell of a lot going on and not a lot of it is actual news, at least for our purposes. If you get into the whole big business, commerce vs. art, games journalism kinda thing (and believe you me, we really do), then you will probably appreciate the glut of recorded audio flowing through the large set of interconnected tubes this week.

The list is the usual, but the formats have changed for some. The CAGcast stays its regular, once-a-week format, while the folks at Joystiq and 1UP have eschewed tradition for daily GDC podcasts. We especially suggest the 1UP Yours! with Amy Hennig and Lorne Lanning -- wait for the amazing debate at the end, worth every second.

Joystiq Podcast (feat. Chris Grant, Ludwig Kietzmann and Justic McElroy)
The CAGcast (feat. CheapyD and Wombat)
The 1UP Show and 1UP Yours Podcast (feat. Garnett Lee, Shane Bettenhausen, Bryan Intihar, and Shawn Elliott)


With all this good stuff, we haven't even had time to check out this week's Bonus Round or Game Theory, assuredly both excellent as well. Any suggestions for the weekly podcast roundup can drop be left in the comments!

Gears of War 2 (Not Surprisingly) Confirmed

And the keynote is over. Thank you livebloggers for keeping our thirst for knowledge immediately, undeniably quenched. Though early on in the presentation, Epic's own Michael Katz (that's the president, b!) was brought out to show off the latest updates to their Unreal Engine, notoriously Calvin-esqu Cliff Blezinski (Cliffy B, b!) ran out all last minute and says to everyone, "Gears 2 in November 2008, only on Xbox 360." Wooooo! My head just frackin' exploded!

Okay, I don't get down with Gears like the next human, but hopefully they'll expand upon some of the things that made people love the first one. I just hope they think of something better than endless gratuitous profanity with regards to dialog, and more of a sense with regards to hit detection than just the feeling like you're shooting a bullet absorbing sponge. Oh, and if I get caught on another goddamn edge, I'm flying to North Carolina just to punch someone in the genitals. I kiiiiiid! I kiiiiiid!

Ninja Gaiden 2 Release Date Confirmed

During Microsoft's keynote at GDC this morning, the James Dean of Japanese gaming himself, Tomonobu Itagaki (Team Ninja) took the stage to present the gaming press and assorted developers/publishers/pr folks a never before seen stage from his upcoming game, Ninja Gaiden 2.

After showing some visuals that, according to Kietzmann were, "far beyond that of anything in the original Xbox 1 game(s).", Itagaki announces a release date of June 2008 worldwide, specifically hitting (and presumably brutally slicing) North American shores on June 3rd.

GDC: Mid-Week Fire Sale

Gadzooks! GDC is in full swing! Joystiq's own Ludwig Kietzmann is live bloggging the Microsoft Keynote, as we speak! Announcements abound, so beware, and hit refresh often. (They've been teasing Gears of War 2 all over that piece.)

Furthermore, the 1UP Yours crew are podcasting every single day, Tuesday thru Friday, with ridiculously impressive guests and always hilarious but intelligent banter. At least someone grants game development more creedence than toy development!

Oh, and there's a link to this press release for Gears of War 2 on the NeoGAF boards. While, like Microsoft, we're not inclined to comment on speculation or rumors, this press release reads like the horoscopes. That's all we're saying. Now, bask in the bedlam that is mid-week GDC coverage!

Enrichment Center Located.....in San Francisco?!

Those folks over at Joystiq sure are brave. Not only have they stepped up to the challenge presented to them at GDC this year, but they've also fared the streets of the dark and mysterious San Francisco Bay Area and found a second Enrichment Center. That's right, 'Still Alive' was clearly no joke.

Though they didn't encounter any cake-promising computers bent on destruction, they did snap a few pictures to prove that the terror is real. Considering what kind of reactions were to be had in England when news of you-know-who coming back surfaced, us here at QPHQ wouldn't be surprised at all to see mass denial. Lucky for us, we don't need no magic where we're going -- we gots us a gun.

(via Joystiq)

Electroencephalography: Hail Satan -- An Epilogue

The BBC recently reported some terrifying shit about nanotechnology and how microscopic robots are one day going to be injected into us to cure our diseases....and then completely reprogram our souls for the advancement of the Dark One's agenda.

Luckily for us this technology isn't expected to be introduced for, at the very least, 15 years. But in the mean time, US/Australian based company Emotiv will gladly prep your brain for Sata....I mean Hendrik Schon's nanobots.

Introduing the Epoch Neuroheadset: it zips, it zaps, it doesn't require gel to be smeared on your scalp (finally!) No longer do you have to waste precious, miniscule finger movements to take out that tango, just think about it and -- BLAM! -- more firepower than a Lockheed AC-130. That's right, this thing reads your brainwaves and responds accordingly.

Epoch claims the headset will work wirelessly with new gen consoles, and PCs. And here's the best part, they're BETA Testing right now. "Experience the bleeding-edge of technology...." -- wait one goddamn second -- is it just me or does this thing scare the living smurf out of anyone else? Not only does it read your brainwaves, but something about my brain mixing with the "bleeding-edge" of technology sounds downright unnatural.

I still catch flack for wearing the XBL Headset. There's no way in hell I'm attaching this brainwave reading Metroid to my head. I'm telling you people the battles of the future will not be against zombies, but brainwashed neo-soldiers who just have to think about killing you. Put away your plywood and chainsaws, this is gonna suck.

I don't believe they've begun developing any full length games for 'The Leecher' since all my searches came back with info about semi-legitimate game developer Epoch (Gauntlet Legends, R-Type DX), combined with the fact that the headset is still in BETA.

Anyway, I heartily advise anyone and everyone to immediately denounce and destroy this product once it hits the market. And just in case it catches on....

Hail Satan! May Her Dark Reign Last A Thousand Years!

Psychic Controller released this year, Judgement Day that much closer

Kotaku is reporting from GDC08 on a swanky "psychic controller" from Emotiv that will pop up on shelves in "select" retail shops sometime this year for the pretty price of $300. According to the company's Tan Le:

"The wireless device slips onto a gamers head, its 14 or so slender metal branches sliding through hair to rest against the scalp. The metal arms, which are coated with a proprietary material, detect the electrical current conducted by the brain and transmits the data to an in-board chip that deciphers the information and translates it into data that can be used by the program to control games."

Neat! We are now officially in science fiction territory -- something that is quite scary for my feeble little brain that grew up in the 80's and 90's. Maybe I've just been watching too many Terminator and Matrix movies.

Kotaku's Brian Crecente got some hands-on (er...hands-off?) time with it at GDC, and posted his thoughts this morning along with a video. Now people can look even sillier when they play games!

(Image courtesy of Kotaku, natch.)

King Of Kong: Why I Feel Better About My Gaming Addictions

As you may or may not have heard, the folks here at QP had a hearty sit down last night and watched King of Kong: A Fistful Of Quarters. This humble film major's review: A+.

I must admit, in the first 10 minutes I found myself mocking the now ultra subculture of retro gamers -- 90 minutes later....I found my self still mocking everyone -- except Steve Wiebe, truly a God among men.

He basically took a giant shit on Billy Mitchell's high score in Donkey Kong, and was subsequently stripped of his title through conflict of interest (the "officials" who recognize the high scores have huge boners for Mitchell.) Wiebe then proceeded to serve Billy "Bitchell" another two-pound turd burger by beating his high score in public, in front of the aforementioned officials.

The only criticism that I would give of the film is that they make Billy Mitchell look like a complete asshole. The problem: Billy Mitchell is a complete asshole.

The story is all very convoluted and petty, but it's entertaining as hell, and makes me feel better about beating Bioshock three times. (49/50 achievements)

Unfortunately, Mitchell took back the world record recently, and thus Wiebe has announced he will attempt another record this summer. If you see this man on the street tell him, "You can do eeeet!" QP's got your back buddy.

Mario Kart Wii -- Embargo Lifted

You have to wonder what happened when suddenly multiple gaming websites drop the same metric ton of information regarding Mario Kart Wii at exactly the same time. The answer we're betting on: the embargo suddenly disappeared. Though GameSpot and 1UP offer nearly identical coverage on the subject, we're more than likely to suggest 1UP's.

Writing aside (though we kind of think 1UP writers have the advantage here given the best writers from GameSpot have left or simply been sacked), what GameSpot owner's CNet did was basically inexcusable. But me, well, I hold grudges. Enjoy the glut of Mario Kart info! (And hey, you know, it's ok if you go to the GameSpot bump, we understand.)

(via 1UP)

The GameSpot Coup Begins!

As you may have read somewhere, since the controversial firing of Jeff Gerstmann, just a few other GameSpot staffers have decided to call it quits. Well, if you're like us here at QP, you might be jonesin' for some post-GameSpot, ex-HotSpot, podcast love.

Your prayers have been answered, friend, in the form of Ryan Davis', "Arrow Pointing Down" podcast (beta.) It's a little rough, mind you, and maybe a little looser than what you're used to, but we're betting they strike gold sooner than you'd think. Jeff's recent blog posts also allude to a larger project in the works. If you're in for some more hilarity, check out Jeff's show, "Points!," where he discusses, erm, points! -- like, you know, nerd achievement points. Good fun is had by all. Viva la Revolucion!

RRoD at GDC: Brits Are the Best

Damn BBC, you everywhere girl! Wandering around the internet this morning yielded British comedy of the driest variety -- dot.life writer Darren Waters clearly captured video of one of Microsoft's own Xbox 360's encountering the dreaded red ring of death....wait for it....on the 2008 Game Developers Conference show floor.

In fairness, us here at QPHQ feel it entirely necessary to address the rest of the internet regarding news coming out of GDC: Seriously, there's nothing else? We know it's only been a day, and that you're all very busy, but surely the conference has more important information to yield -- right? RIGHT?! Bah. Bah I say.

[UPDATED] Toshiba Nails Coffin Closed on HD-DVD

Accepting defeat can be hard. Some people get quiet, some people yell, some people eject the goddamn Smash Bros. disc and unplug everyone's stupid controllers -- not that we'd know anything about that. Companies take it a different way though.

For instance, Toshiba's announcement today that they are no longer supporting the HD-DVD format. If I found out that I'd be losing "hundreds of millions of dollars" because I bet on the wrong pony, boy would I be sore. You'd never know though, as so far they've stayed mum. Microsoft's reaction is much more entertaining:

"We do not believe the recent reports about HD DVD will have any material impact on the Xbox 360 platform or our position in the marketplace. As we've long stated, we believe it is games that sell consoles and Xbox 360 continues to have the largest next-gen games library with the most exclusives and best selling games in the industry."

While this writer certainly agrees with Microsoft's statement that, "....it is games that sell consoles...." that doesn't mean the ability to play the victorious high-def format doesn't help. We must say though, there's quite a few standard-def dvds in our collection....and zero high-def (though our t.v. is most certainly of the large and high definition variety.) Either way, the (high-def) format war is over and we can't say we're surprised with the victor. Now go make some f'ing games, Sony! Enough with the cross-media items! (I'm looking at you, PSP!)


[UPDATE]: Though it's quite likely that the statement will come tomorrow (or even today) from Toshiba officially, right now they're saying (in the third person):

"The media reported that Toshiba will discontinue its HD DVD business. Toshiba has not made any announcement concerning this. Although Toshiba is currently assessing its business strategies, no decision has been made at this moment."

Oh, in case you were wondering, "Currently assessing its business strategies" should probably be read as, "CONFIRMED." Don't you just love the way huge corporations respond comparably with sperm whales at the beach sometimes?

Casual Monday Addendum: XBLA Edition

Ohhhhh nooooeeeez! We almost forgot about N+ coming to XBLA this Wednesday! With that in mind, though we still heartily endorse The Last Stand, it would be hard not to suggest checking out the game that inspired this week's XBLA release, N. Considering you'd be spending 800 spacebucks otherwise, we're inclined to believe you'll agree.

Enjoy your now, "loaded-with-free-games" Monday. If your boss catches you though, it wasn't us -- you were told to! -- by these assholes.

Fallout 3: We'll Take Any News We Can Get

Though many blogs are covering Bethesda's announcement (gleaned from this interview) that Fallout 3 will be released day/date on Xbox 360, PS3 and PC, us here at QPHQ are interested in the whole schebang. You guys like them Elder Scrolls game? Yeah, they got that engine. How about the ability to tell a great story in an interesting universe (like, ummm, say Washington D.C., 200 years after nuclear holocaust?) Covered. Ooooh, ooooh, and can you make the gameplay deep but not so deep that I'm pushed off by it? Yeah, we're a bit excited about Fallout 3, to say the least.

The biggest problem with this interview is that now I'm required to go read, "The Road," which is apparently an excellent book. This marks the second time a game has forced me to read a work entirely unrelated to it (the first being, "Atlas Shrugged" -- thanks Bioshock) and I don't know that I'm upset about that. Seriously though, while many of you out there are squirming for Metal Gear Solid 4 details, take a moment to bask in the trailer (below) and screenshots of what may be one of the best (and least hyped) games of 2008.

Casual Monday: Dead Rising Edition

QP blogger Shawn Annable recently received his rental copy of Dead Rising (after nine days of waiting) and boy were we excited to experience the terrible save system. Finding myself thirsting for more zombie killing mayhem, this time without botched save systems and impossible-to-rescue survivors, I turned to the world of flash. It probably doesn't hurt that it's Monday, and thus time for another installment of 'Casual Monday.'

This week we bring you The Last Stand, courtesy of Armor Games, wherein you are charged with fighting off zombies while they endlessly barrage your barricade. Though the details on the game boasts 11 weapons and 20 days & nights of gameplay, I think you may be hard pressed to experience all of that in your first playthrough. The game is easily accessible, has a pretty decent story and some strong play mechanics -- it even has some light tactical rpg stuff thrown in for good measure. The beauty is in the details, people. Though not quite as addicting as certain spinning black circles, The Last Stand will certainly have you cursing those cheating bastard zombies.....your words, not mine.

Boo GameZnFlix, Hooray Beer!

Approximately 192 hours ago I embarked on a quest to find out if GameZnFlix really was all that and a bag of chips. Turns out it was just a bag of chips. The 25 cent kind that contain about five chips and bunch of crumbs. Only I paid $13.00 dollars for them.

Numbers aside, I initially was very hopeful, even starry-eyed about my own personal media concierge. "I can have out two games or movies at the same time? This is too good to be true." I said to myself. Well friends, I can wholeheartedly back up the age old adage, "If it seems too good to be true, it is."

1.) Turns out you can only have one game and one movie at the same time (On the two out plan). Ok, not a big deal, although I was trying to circumvent Gamefly's pricey service.

2.) It took them 8 days to send me my first game.

3.) Their website is broken. It's somewhat difficult to explain through words without spewing expletives, but let's try. When browsing games, movies or search results you can't browse past the first page. You can, however, click with futility on the numbers indicating the next page of results. Essentially you need to know exactly what you want to rent so you can search for it on the website. Which brings me to my fourth point.

4.) When you press enter after you type in a search request the website asks you if you want to log out. You actually have to physically click 'search' once you've typed a request.

5.) They don't have customer service by phone. They do have a customer service phone number -- upon pressing one for customer service you are told that their customer service exists solely through email. Do they really think e-mail is a more efficient means of communication of telephone? I'm pretty sure even George W. Bush is aware of that.

6.) (Yeah, six) You have to listen to some dumbass introduce the "revolutionary" idea of renting games and movies from the same service every time you visit the website.

Succinctly, GameZnFlix.com sucks: their website is broken, their service is slow, and their customer service is non-existent. If you're really looking for a good website to rent games from, suck it up and pay for Gamefly -- they even have DS and GBA rentals. But really you should just stick to your local rental store anyway. Personally, I think Blockbuster could put all online rental services out of business if they just added a game rental component to their online service. C'est la vie.

In my opinion you should just use that money to buy a case of Lion's Head and break out Goldeneye. (You know you've still got it.)

Still Crazy After All These Years

You know things are getting really bad when the daytime Fox News anchor thinks your shameless two minute plug (for yourself none the less) is in poor taste. This is simply posted for amusement sake, just in case you were wondering. It's the weekend -- kick back and have a cool one on us. Oh, and burn a picture of Jack Thompson.

Missed Steaks: Guitar Hero: Aerosmith

The folks at QPHQ are a wiley bunch and we love us some peripheral-based shennaniganery -- that's why we were nothing but excited to hear about Activision not only beating a dead horse with a plastic guitar, but then also selling the dead horse to the highest bidder. Guitar Hero: Aerosmith is a damned abomination. This is big corporations running the videogame industry as hard and as fast as they can directly into the concrete.

Check out this ridiculous Steven Tyler quote, clearly doctored by P.R. to appear as silly and non-genuine as possible:

Steven Tyler: "Any band that can go from 'Don't Want to Miss A Thing' (Aerosmith's #1 smash hit) to the ass-kicking 'Sweet Emotion' to the cheekiness of 'Love in an Elevator,' to the classic ballad 'Dream On' shows why Activision chose us to headline this game based on the diversity of the Aerosmith catalog. Not only is songwriting a bitch, but then it goes and has puppies."

We're not huge Aerosmith fans here, though if this was a new Guitar Hero based solely around say, Captain and Tennille, we can't say we'd feel that much differently (though C&T are the best.) Here's hoping those puppies get euthanized, Mr. Tyler. Oh, and thanks for ruining a beautiful Saturday, Activision.

(via Activision)

Feliz Dia del Podcast! (Edicion Dos)

Hola and welcome to the second edition of HPD (Happy Podcast Day folks), celebrating the once a week release of not one, not two, but four excellent podcasts in one day. True enough, the CAGcast often comes through iTunes on Thursday night sometime, but that's perfectly ok. Half the show is in Japan anyway so it's really Friday -- we swear.

ANYWAYS, this week we also got dropped a little nugget of audio enjoyment from everybody's favorite "vagina clown" (his words, not mine), Microsoft's own Larry Hryb (AKA Major Nelson.) Though his regular podcast hits iTunes on Sunday nights, he had a little interview go up mid-week with their new Senior VP of the Interactive Entertainment division, Don Mattrick. Certainly worth checking out (though you should take what Mattrick says about GTA:4 with a massive grain of salt.) Without further adieu, I present to you our weekly choices (until podcasts in general get better, we will stand fast with these -- suggestions welcome folks.)

Joystiq Podcast (feat. Chris Grant, Ludwig Kietzmann and Justic McElroy)
The CAGcast (feat. CheapyD and Wombat)
The 1UP Show and 1UP Yours Podcast (feat. too many people to mention in this small space)

Still waitin' on that podcast N'gai.......

Designing the Presidential Candidates

Holy interesting facts, Batman! As if the 1UP Network wasn't already doing enough for you, what with their free EGM subscriptions and dare we say plethora of podcasts, they've gathered up info on all your favorite game developers (as well as publishers) and found out exactly who they're placing their financial backing behind in this upcoming election -- and the results might....disappoint the hell out of you.

Luckily, only $500 was spent in total towards Mike Huckabee, though clearly Huckabee has God on his side sooooo, I guess it's still anyone's race. But seriously, did anyone expect to see so much money go towards Republicans? Us here at QPHQ make no religious or political affiliations, but really, $2300 for Fred Thompson? Let's just hope you can write off that whole donation when you file your taxes, Ian Schmidt of Electronic Arts. That's all I'm sayin'.

Lifestyles of the Gifted and Geeky

I'll admit it, I've watched Cribs. I didn't want to do it, but clearly I had to know what the inside of Robbie Williams' flat in London looked like. But those days had passed....at least I thought. Now I understand how all those people can get sucked into reality television on VH1 and MTV. It all makes so much sense, after being horribly sucked into this. Damn you, Kotaku!

The folks over there managed to get shots of just about everyone's desk in the gaming industry worth noting -- from David Jaffe to Tetsuya Mizuguchi. Now I know, I know, this isn't quite news. It is, however, quite interesting. For instance, why does my man Ted Price of Insomniac Games have a 360 on his work desk, Mr. PS3 Exclusivity Deal?! Let the speculation.....BEGIN!

Mario Kart Wii Sooner Than Wii Thought?

The blokes at Eurogamer go about their writing in a different way than us folks here in the colonies. Instead of being a bunch of louts, they embed their rumors in verse -- mocking those who've not been privy to all the Fawlty Towers episodes.

Aha!, but they do not know us here at QPHQ are impervious to their Europeanery. Seems they've heard a juicy little bit of information regarding a "10 April" Japanese release of Mario Kart Wii from an, "inside source." Considering the window between release of Brawl in Japan and the U.S. is roughly five weeks, sounds like we might have some kart racing to catch up on before summer is in full swing. The real question: Will we all be able to put down our controllers from Brawl for long enough to get to Best Buy, none the less the kitchen, or the bathroom?!

Barbie Dream Bathroom Comes to Life

I came across this "Ultimate Ladies' Room" contest on Game|Life, and my immediate thought, right after "that's a shit-ton of pink," was, "why would I need so much stuff in the bathroom?" I can understand the TV, and the towel warmer does sound rather cool, but a fridge? Eating in the bathroom doesn't sound very sanitary, or appetizing. What makes this game-related is the Nintendo Wii that's included. How long am I going to be in the bathroom, anyway? Apparently long enough to collect some stars in Super Mario Galaxy, give myself a foot wash and a pedicure (!), have a snack and dry my hair, all while listening to my iPod and browsing the Internet. And if it takes me so long to do my dirty sinful business, I can just watch TV or read a magazine. Such choices!

I'm curious why they have the Wii and not something more logical, like a DS or a PSP. I guess there's something giggle-worthy about playing on the Wii while taking a wee, but it makes more sense to have something that you can take from the bathroom and continue playing once you're done answering nature's call.

Apple Trademarks Gaming Devices, Internet Breaks

This comes up time and time again: Apple is supposedly (extra double super stress on that), on some level, entering the gaming market. Look, seriously, this isn't really news. How is this news?

Apple is IN the gaming market. They've been in the gaming market. Pushing heavily might I add, with partnership deals, serious casual gamer appeal, and AAA titles appearing much more often (even day/date, as is the case with Spore.) Though these trademarks are a clear sign Apple is protecting against possible trademark issues, it doesn't say much else. The picture you see above is simply a concept - - if a device exists as such eventually, they'll have their asses covered trademark-wise. That's it. It's nice to want things though, isn't it?

(via Engadget)

Interview Redux: More MGS Details Emerge at D.I.C.E.

As D.I.C.E. continues to roll on in Las Vegas, Seth Scheisel of the New York Times conducted an open interview with Microsoft Game Studios corporate vice president Shane Kim, revealing just a little more of the studio's direction over 2008. Luckily, we have "non-journalist" (read as: blogger) Stephen Totilo to engage Mr. Kim in a more specific and bullet-pointed way, laying out all the info he could get on Alan Wake, Too Human, Fable 2, and so much more! If you haven't already left, scrambling to Google or clicking the bookmark above, here it is.

P.S. Us here at QPHQ want to send our thanks to executives that aren't PR-spewing politicians; Shane Kim being a one prime example of the few who aren't. Just because you work at an evil company doesn't mean you have to be evil yourself. If you want to know what we're talking about, check out the latest copy of EGM, keeping an eye out for the Peter Dille interview (March 2008 issue, page 50, bottom third.)

Casual Monday: Listening to N'Gai Edition

Though we heartily missed the weekly podcast day post this past Friday, us here at QPHQ want to apologize by offering a new weekly section known as, "Casual Monday." Once a week, on (you guessed it!) Monday, we'll offer you our suggestion for a casual game you should be playing (at least when you're stuck in a lecture/cubicle and have a computer in front of you.)

Our suggestion this week, our inaugural week!, comes from Newsweek's very own N'Gai Croal. Over at the Level Up blog, N'Gai's blaming the chaps from Rock, Paper, Shotgun for putting him onto the ridiculously engaging (and terrifyingly addicting) "Spin the Black Circle." The premise is simple: use the left and right arrow keys to, well, spin the black circle. You have to get your companion cube, er, um, I mean a ball, to the exit - - located somewhere beyond the gauntlet of spinning wheels, shooting flames and tremendous gravity. I warn you now, play at your own risk. It will suck you in something fierce. So much so that you miss the part of the lecture you actually needed to hear. Now, SPIN THE BLACK CIRCLE!

Microsoft's Shane Kim Talks Crackdown 2, Deers of Lore

Confirmed! Deers of Lore, Xbox 360, 2008! Over on the Left Coast, during the goings on at D.I.C.E., Game|Life's own Chris Kohler grabbed the always affable Shane Kim (if you're furiously scrambling through your Videogame Industry Executives Playing Card Set to find him, he's under "Corporate Vice President, Microsoft Game Studios") for a thorough interview regarding Microsoft's platform in 2008 - - and revealed some interesting nuggets along the way. Kim had this to say about what became of (or will be) Crackdown 2:

"I really have to ask -- we did our Top Ten games for the year, and we put Crackdown at number ten. But then what I heard was, they're not working on Crackdown 2, that team moved somewhere else and Microsoft didn't option it. Is that true? And if so, why?

We own the Crackdown intellectual property. We have a great partnership with Real TIme Worlds, and they're pursuing a different path from a company perspective. So I wouldn't say that it's Microsoft not picking up the option there. I don't really want to talk about that discussion, but it wasn't the case where -- we still love Crackdown. We consider that a pretty successful title for us, high-quality, I think that customers would like to see more in that space. So that's an option for us. But I think for Real Time Worlds, they made a company decision.

So it's on the table that some day in the future you could take Crackdown and bring it somewhere else.

And any intellectual property that we own can always be on the table. And the good news is that we happen to own the Crackdown IP."

Kim was less revealing when speaking about the future of the Mass Effect trilogy:

"We have publishing rights for Mass Effect. We are going to continue to work to make Mass Effect really successful, it's been a very important exclusive title for us. EA just completed its acquisition transaction. EA's been a great partner for us in general. So we will talk to EA about what their plans are for the IP and what they want to do, and we'll go from there."

In other words, they're almost as clueless as we are. And though Chris tries to pry some info about the seriously about to happen any frackin' second announcement of Gears of War 2, it's all for not:

"Well, I don't want to go too much longer, but I'm just going to say the title of a fictional game and you can tell me if something that rhymes with it is going to be announced. Beers of Gore 2.

Well, you have... you've trapped me.

Now you're in a corner.

We are working on Deers of Lore.

That, I want to play.

I'm breaking the news with you."

You heard it here first folks - - those who were alive in the 60's remember exactly where they were when they heard JFK was shot, just as you will always remember this very moment. Deers of Lore - - 2008. BELIEVE.

Ziff Davis Plays Editorial Musical Chairs

Ziff Davis Media, owner of always controversial Electronic Gaming Monthly (in addition to the rest of the 1UP Network), announced in a press release yesterday morning an official changing of the guards. As we've known, current EIC Dan "Shoe" Hsu, is stepping down from his position in order to fill a new position as Editorial Director of the 1UP Network.

Until yesterday morning though, we were unaware who would be replacing him. And now, well, now we do. According to the press release, "All 1UP Network editors will now be under one main editorial umbrella, split into to three primary areas --- 'Videogames,' 'PC Games,' and 'Video.'" What that means, in the words of 1UP.com's now former EIC James Mielke, is, "....what it basically says is that I'm now the Editor-in-Chief of Electronic Gaming Monthly as well as the videogames portion...." Oh my!

Seriously though, we here at QPHQ will miss Dan Hsu's professionalism and the level of expertise he brought to one of (what we would consider to be) the hardest jobs in the industry - - as well as one of the most sought after. And to you Mr. Mielke, good luck sir. You may very well need it.

Mass Effect Downloadable Content Announced

BioWare posted on their forums today about the first bit of downloadable content for Xbox 360 RPG Mass Effect. Set to be released on March 10 for 400 Microsoft Points($5), the, "Bring Down the Sky" pack introduces another alien race, the Batarians, in a new mission set on a new uncharted planet. According to the post, the content will add around 90 additional minutes to the Mass Effect story and will contain 50 Gamerscore points for those of us with achievements on the mind.

Here's hoping that the "new uncharted world" will in fact be new. I'd like to be able to explore an area that's more than just the same big square of mountainous (sometimes annoyingly mountainous) land with some probes and Turian bodies spread around for me to go on a scavenger hunt for.

Unfortunately, no word yet on whether this package will include an extended and fully interactive sex scene.

Mario Kart Wii Detailed, Release Date Still Hazy

Apparently Nintendo is finally catching on when it comes to Western gamers. With the Nintendo DS, we've found a surprising glut of excellent online play and soon we'll have Super Smash Bros. Brawl for the Wii, in addition to the few online enabled games already available. Now you can add one more to the list: Mario Kart Wii.

Famitsu reportedly got the inside story from Nintendo about Mario Kart Wii in the latest issue. Here's the deal....

Online Situation: "[Nintendo] would attempt to streamline the matchmaking process in Mario Kart Wii." (says Satoru Iwata)
Gameplay: New mid-air tricks as well as a landing boost if timed correctly
Modes: 16-player online matches, 4-player local split-screen and downloadable ghost race history.

Even furthermore, there are purportedly 32 tracks, 16 of which are brand new. We here at QPHQ don't speak much Japanese, so luckily our friends at IGN went through the translating for us. What the translation did not find, however, is an exact release date for this side of the Pacific. Looks like Spring '08 will have to do for now. But hey, we have Brawl in March! Woo!

First Rockband DLC for February on XBL

This week's Rockband downloadable content went up within the last 30 hours and boy are my arms....not so tired. Some of you QP'ers out there might be looking forward to belting out, "Roam" by the B-52's, but as for us here at QPHQ, we're keeping our precious spacebucks in our spacewallets, thank you very much. As per usual....

The list is as follows:

The B-52's: "Roam" (160 MS points/ $2)
Faith No More: "We Care a Lot" (160 MS points/ $2)
KISS: "Calling Dr. Love" (160 MS Points / $2)
(via MajorNelson)

A Fine Line Painted With a Thick Brush

The, "blogosphere" (a buzzword we here at QPHQ try to avoid at all costs) is full of many different types. There's those that host their own personal blogs in order to talk about their lives, their pets, their jobs, etc. There's also people who own and operate their own blog, but on a more professional (or at very least, less personal) level - - for instance, a developer blog.

Then there's, "the big three." You know 'em, love 'em, or hate 'em. Truth be told, you probably have some allegiance to one or another (personally, I prefer the writing on Joystiq to anywhere else.) Time and time again, the argument is brought up: Is a blog news? Is a blog journalism? The short answer is no. The correct answer is, much like most things, "it depends." However, some of us bloggers adhere to at least a rough outline of journalistic principles. Apparently not Jim Sterling.

Mr. Sterling, of Destructoid fame, had this to say in a recent entry on the website:

"I don't like using the term 'journalist,' to describe myself. As Reverend Anthony put it himself on RetroforceGO, I am a blogger, not a journalist. A journalist is someone who investigates, who goes out in the field, finds the news. He interviews, he prods, he asks the kind of questions nobody else is asking. What do I do? I merely spread the word. I look at what the journalists have brought to us and take part in what I've seen referred to as the 'blog echo,' the posting and reposting of news among the entire mass of gaming blogs out there."

Now I know that I don't speak for all of us when I say this, but I know I speak for some of us: journalism is at the very core of what we do. Without adhering to those principles, being proud that we are, to some extent, amateur (and often professional) journalists, we are simply writing fiction. Words like, "truth" and "honesty" come to mind - - important words to a journalist.

Now don't get me wrong, I understand the differences (and oftentimes, massive hurdles) the world of bloggers has to encounter versus print media. I appreciate the fundamental differences. This doesn't mean we don't operate on the same principles and it certainly doesn't mean we shouldn't hold ourselves to the same scrutiny. It is these very ideas that challenge, "the blogosphere' and its credibility, especially in a mainstream forum.

In so many words, while (on some level) I understand what you're trying to say in your piece Mr. Sterling, these kinds of "I am who I am" pieces about bloggers versus print media do no more than to draw a thick line between two nearly synonymous forms of media.

So, QP reader, where do your loyalties lie? Mine loyalties remain firmly with....me.

We Need To Bring Dinosaurs Back So We Can Make Them Exctinct Again

Historically, few movie games have ever been "good." I think we're all aware that in the real world, E.T. didn't quite make it all the way home. In fact, home turned out to be a land fill in Alamogordo, New Mexico. But just think, think back to a movie game that truly rocked (no, not that one).

JURASSIC PARK

I think we can all agree that there's nothing more terrifying than having to scavenge for items in dinosaur infested research facilities. This game had it all: automatic weapons, dino egg swiping, punishingly difficult bosses, electric fences - - the list goes on.

The reason I say this is because I played the Turok demo on XBL Marketplace yesterday and it got me really excited. Not necessarily for the new Turok game, but for dino clones that may follow. Don't get me wrong, Propaganda Games' first crack at the Turok series works. Aside from poor hit detection, and some derived weaponry, there's a great sense of satisfaction in taking down a raptor with an arrow in the eye, or a few gashes from a knife. Hell, even dual wielding shotguns on baby dinos is fun (for serious.) But there's something missing from the game. That sense of hopelessness that Jurassic Park sported knowing that if you swiped those eggs, you were about to have 5 dilophosauruses spitting on your grave.

This installment sees Joseph Turok traveling to a planet populated by soldiers and dinosaurs in search of a war criminal. Admittedly, war criminals are some pretty low assholes. As such, being exiled to a planet of dinosaurs and rogue soldiers sounds like a pretty good punishment to me. Apparently, Turok has other plans.

I'm just saying we need a game, not necessarily Jurassic Park, where you spend your days messing up dinosaurs. Let's call it Dinocide 4046. The object of the game is solely to survive driving from town to town, ridding the earth of its dino scourge. Sure there was a JP 2 and 3, but Spielberg can't possibly let us believe that someone actually survived Jurassic Park. You don't survive dinosaur attacks, you fend off the vicious bastards until you're blissfully overrun.

Set it in a post apocalyptic landscape where you explore the ruins of modern day, add in some mod-able weapons and vehicles, real time worlds, Shadow of the Colossus-style boss battles and Assassin's Creed-style kill scenes and you've got game of the year.

This would also be the ideal game to reintroduce the Game Over screen. Only it should be something more like

Better Luck Next Time
Surviving the endless onslaught of velociraptors.

Rez HD Thoughts

As you're probably aware, elusive Dreamcast and PlayStation 2 legend Rez was released for Xbox Live Arcade a few days ago, this time in super pretty high-definition (not that I can really tell on my 8 year-old standard-def telly). I had never played the game when it initially came out, though I'd been told by numerous people what an awesome game it was. So I finally checked it out on XBLA, for the bargain-bin price of 800 Microsoft Points (which is what, like $10?) and now I understand what all the fuss has been about, and why Sam Kennedy from 1UP called it "one of the most important games of the last decade" in his review.

For those who haven't played it, basically you're a hacker breaking into a computer network, getting rid of viruses and breaking through firewalls. It's a shooter rather than a strict rhythm game, but the music is no doubt one of the most important aspects of the game, working with the psychedelic wireframe and Matrix-esque graphics to totally draw you in. It can get pretty intense, I found that my hands were starting to ache and sweat after a while, something that doesn't happen often (not while gaming, anyway.)

It is most definitely an "experience." The game is beautiful, in terms of audio and video, and is something I would definitely consider as art. It's also just downright fun, and is easy to pick up and just play for a few minutes or hours. Even after I finished the game this morning, there are still lots of greyed-out options on the menu and it will no doubt take me quite a while to fully unlock everything. This shouldn't be too hard since I've become somewhat addicted to the game (and because I'm becoming a dirty achievements whore).

So if you have a 360, and haven't done so already, dip into your weekly Starbucks allowance and go download it. Definitely worth the ten bucks. Pity there's no support for the Trance Vibrator...

Fuck The Halo 3 Leveling System

Not since WWF Wrestlemania 2000 has a video game made me physically aggressive (sorry, all of my ninja turtle action figures.)
I'm not amazing at Halo, but I consider myself a force to be reckoned with. If memory serves correctly, it was possible for any Master Chief to reach level 40 in Halo 2, though not without some frustration and elbow grease.

That said, FUCK the Halo 3 leveling system - - more affectionately known in the professional world as TrueSkill. I'll spare you the time: basically it takes into account how well you play, how many times you place first, and how much dark matter is in your general vicinity. After reaching level 40 trying to level up turns into Bungie's version of Duck Hunt.

I just want to know why: why do I de-level after losing 1 out of 10 games? Don't tell me it's my sigma or mu (see: TrueSkill). This isn't Japan. Magical forces don't imbue our gaming skills. It's America and we all want to be 4 star generals. I'll be damned if some mathematician in the Silicon Valley is gonna stop me - - and I'm not the only one.

But seriously, at least 5000 wins Bungie? Boo. I'll be playing for while, but my knuckles can only punch through so many surfaces.

New Gran Turismo Screens Makes Non Racing Game Fan Almost Interested In Racing Games, Almost

Ok let's get one thing straight: I never got passed the 'stopping' section of the Gran Turismo 3 Driver's Test (the sad part is I really tried, honestly). And after that I pretty much forsook the racing genre all together, especially sims.

HOWEVER Polyphony Digital should truly be proud of what they've produced in Gran Turismo 5 Prologue - - especially since that product has turned the eye of a fairly ardent non-racer. These screens and videos are easily the most impressive display of the PS3's processing power so far.

It almost makes me excited for the release....almost.

David Jaffe Talks Bananas

Just last night, right before many of you were tucking into your new copies of Burnout Paradise and Devil May Cry 4, Chris Kohler over at Game|Life posted a recent interview with none other than Eat, Sleep, Play's Commander-in-Chief, David Jaffe.

The bulk of the interview is quite interesting, touching on topics ranging from what happened to Twisted Metal Black 2, to why they chose to go with a PS2 port of a PSP game for their first release ("...[Twisted Metal: Head-On Extra Twisted Edition] honestly started out as a good business decision. It was a way to get some money in the bank, it was a way to get everybody hired, get all the equipment going, and kind of make sure that we could get a game out within this year sort of as a test...")

What really struck a chord in the community though was Jaffe's response to the first question of the interview:

"Apparently when Miyamoto first went to Retro Studios, they were making a car combat game, he said, 'Why would you make that? Why would you put a gun on a car?' And they stopped development on the game. So maybe you should answer that question. Why would you put a gun on a car?

Jaffe: You know, honestly, I've been too busy recently trying to figure out why the fuck go-karts shoot banana peels."

Due to the response Mr. Jaffe received from this, he's answered (and sort of apologized) here. Us here at QPHQ aren't going to be sleeping for nights, worried sick about Miyamoto-sans psychological prognosis. Can, "the father of videogame design" overcome these trying times? Come on people! We apologize, Mr. Jaffe.

Happy Podcast Day!

Once a week, unfortunately all at once, the best gaming podcasts are released. Sure, we'll admit it, there are other excellent gaming podcasts out there (I'm looking at you, Game Theory), but this writer must be an advocate: the opinions expressed by Garnett Lee and the rest of the (sometimes rotating) 1UP Yours crew are gold. Anyways, the list for Friday is as follows:

Joystiq Podcast (feat. Chris Grant, Ludwig Kietzmann and Justic McElroy)
The CAGcast (feat. CheapyD and Wombat)
The 1UP Show and 1UP Yours Podcast (feat. too many people to mention in this small space)


Now the real question is this: When will N'Gai Croal (of Newsweek fame) and Stephen Totilo (of MTV fame) team up and create their own podcast?