The Bourne Conspiracy XBL Demo

In the midst of all the frenetic GTA IV happenings we've managed to pull ourselves away for a few seconds to check out The Bourne Conspiracy demo on XBL. First impression? Lots of quick time events, for everything. Need to jump to another ledge? Quick time. Need to slide under a closing gate? Quick time. Need to spin your car around to avoid a large truck? Quick time. I don't want to say quick time events are lazy because they can be implemented well, but I'd rather play a game where the framework allows you to do these things yourself.

That being said, The Bourne Conspiracy does a pretty good job of at least making the quick time events feel natural within the game. After the first play through you get a pretty good sense of when you're going to have to use them. Better to use them constantly than randomly surprise you throughout a level. The combat system is pretty simple and allows for counter moves and some sweet finishes. Gun play feels believable at best and is actually fairly similar to GTA IV's auto-aim system. High Moon Studios also has something to prove here since traditionally movie to video game adaptations have been about as popular as a suicide bomber on a subway. So I'm surmising that this version we're seeing is pretty much what we're going to get on the release.

I can't say I didn't have fun playing the demo, though, which makes me optimistic for its launch. It's not going win any medals, especially for it's driving sections, but it should make for a good one night stand.

Awesome.

Assault Heroes 2 Gets Dated, Detailed

Hot off the steamy, giant, interconnected tubes comes news today that a sequel to everyone's favorite Smash TV ripoff is coming to Xbox Live Arcade on May 14th. You guessed it (clearly with help from the picture to your left) -- Assault Heroes 2 has been slated for the aforementioned mid-May release, bringing with it, "hi-jackable enemy vehicles, more levels and enhanced on-foot and co-operative gameplay modes."

We suppose that the whole vehicles thing helps separate this from it's many top-down shooter brethren, though it's thinly veiled yet takes-itself-too-seriously story didn't help differentiate it the first time around. IGN had a lovefest with the first one, though they did agree that it's story was as silly as the fact that they tried implementing a story into an XBLA game. If you, like us, spent nine straight hours playing Ikari Warriors when you were a child just to see it's stupid, stupid ending, then you may have burnt out on these (completely infuriating) kind of games a little while ago. For the rest of you, Assault Heroes 2 comes out in two weeks. At the very worst it's a possible 200 Nerd Points, but who're we kidding, you'll be playing GTA4 with us online, right?

QP Review: XNA Creators Club Demos

Let's sit down and talk, QP'ers. Let's talk about poor design. Let's talk about the XNA Creators Club Game Launcher. This is a great example of how a really good idea can get rushed, ruined and, erm, (w)recked. The picture below serves as proof:

(Note the Y-button command in the lower left -- 'cause no one would notice it otherwise.)

You may be wondering to yourself, "But that's just a normal download screen on XBLA, QP. WTFOMG4EVZ!" Relax, relax. It's so much more complicated than that. You see, much like you, when we first downloaded the XNA Creators Club Launcher, we were perplexed as to how to download the actual games. Though our collective years only equal a single elderly person, we here at QP would like to think of ourselves as at least somewhat technically savvy (I installed a 32X at one point in my life.)

Regardless, after looking on MajorNelson's helpful site, we were able to download the newly released XNA demos -- and boy are our brains tired. Though the navigation to download the games on XLBA is pretty bonked, the games themselves downloaded quickly. That's where the disappointment ended.

There were seven games released as demos through this XNA Creators Club program on XBLA:
1 - The Dishwasher (by James Silva, U.S.A.)
2 - Little Gamers (by Loic Dansart, Belgium)
3 - Jelly Car (by "Walaber," U.S.A.)
4 - Rocketball (Fuel 'N Spark Games, U.S.A.)
5 - ProximityHD (Brian Cable, U.S.A.)
6 - TriLinea (Edison Prata, Brazil)
7 - Culture (Hidden Path Entertainment, U.S.A.)

You were only supposed to be able to download these titles through Sunday, February 24th, but this press release went out today, extending the ability until tonight, February 26th, at midnight PST. But stop! Don't rush over to your 360 and excitedly start downloading these free demos. Why wouldn't you, you ask? Oh, cause they're godawful. The Dishwasher stands out among them as the only one that felt like a game -- otherwise you're better off sticking to the QP Casual Monday roundup.

Seriously though, I played every one of them. They're not good. For free. Think about that.

Casual Monday Addendum: XBLA Edition

Ohhhhh nooooeeeez! We almost forgot about N+ coming to XBLA this Wednesday! With that in mind, though we still heartily endorse The Last Stand, it would be hard not to suggest checking out the game that inspired this week's XBLA release, N. Considering you'd be spending 800 spacebucks otherwise, we're inclined to believe you'll agree.

Enjoy your now, "loaded-with-free-games" Monday. If your boss catches you though, it wasn't us -- you were told to! -- by these assholes.