We Need To Bring Dinosaurs Back So We Can Make Them Exctinct Again

Historically, few movie games have ever been "good." I think we're all aware that in the real world, E.T. didn't quite make it all the way home. In fact, home turned out to be a land fill in Alamogordo, New Mexico. But just think, think back to a movie game that truly rocked (no, not that one).

JURASSIC PARK

I think we can all agree that there's nothing more terrifying than having to scavenge for items in dinosaur infested research facilities. This game had it all: automatic weapons, dino egg swiping, punishingly difficult bosses, electric fences - - the list goes on.

The reason I say this is because I played the Turok demo on XBL Marketplace yesterday and it got me really excited. Not necessarily for the new Turok game, but for dino clones that may follow. Don't get me wrong, Propaganda Games' first crack at the Turok series works. Aside from poor hit detection, and some derived weaponry, there's a great sense of satisfaction in taking down a raptor with an arrow in the eye, or a few gashes from a knife. Hell, even dual wielding shotguns on baby dinos is fun (for serious.) But there's something missing from the game. That sense of hopelessness that Jurassic Park sported knowing that if you swiped those eggs, you were about to have 5 dilophosauruses spitting on your grave.

This installment sees Joseph Turok traveling to a planet populated by soldiers and dinosaurs in search of a war criminal. Admittedly, war criminals are some pretty low assholes. As such, being exiled to a planet of dinosaurs and rogue soldiers sounds like a pretty good punishment to me. Apparently, Turok has other plans.

I'm just saying we need a game, not necessarily Jurassic Park, where you spend your days messing up dinosaurs. Let's call it Dinocide 4046. The object of the game is solely to survive driving from town to town, ridding the earth of its dino scourge. Sure there was a JP 2 and 3, but Spielberg can't possibly let us believe that someone actually survived Jurassic Park. You don't survive dinosaur attacks, you fend off the vicious bastards until you're blissfully overrun.

Set it in a post apocalyptic landscape where you explore the ruins of modern day, add in some mod-able weapons and vehicles, real time worlds, Shadow of the Colossus-style boss battles and Assassin's Creed-style kill scenes and you've got game of the year.

This would also be the ideal game to reintroduce the Game Over screen. Only it should be something more like

Better Luck Next Time
Surviving the endless onslaught of velociraptors.