Deca Sports? Yeah, We've Never Heard of it Either

And yes, it looks just as bad as you might think. However, boasting 10 sports, "...players can compete in beach volleyball, snowboard cross, badminton, basketball, curling, figure skating, archery, supercross, soccer and kart racing." and featuring waggle-icious control for every single one (oh boy! waggle curling!), Deca Sports is poised to take the 5 to 11-year old market by storm (especially at the Wal-Mart friendly price of $29.99.)

Let's be clear here folks: this game looks like junk. The trailer (which I very stupidly sat through in it's entirety) actually served to make me less interested in a game I already didn't care about -- the video equivalent of being told something meaningless while simultaneously being hit in the groin, if you will. I was left feeling anger towards the knowledge, though for reasons unrelated directly to it's content.

The cover and weak title should say enough but they don't quite convey the hopelessness found within the press release for this title. Usually feigned excitement sounds better than “With summer on the horizon, we anticipate Deca Sports being a popular choice for those looking for a fun-filled Wii experience.” Hell yes. Either way, GameRankings is already calling this game another piece for the pile of middling if not outright poor Wii games. As you might expect with a hit title like this, it's out this very minute. At least they didn't spend a lot of money on marketing, right? Seriously though, this is why I never play my Wii. If any of you out there are playing and enjoying/hating this game, feel free to drop us a line and let us know why it's amazing/terrible. Lord knows it ain't goin' on our GameFly queue. Thanks Hudson Soft.

Casual Monday -- Sticky Fun Edition

Yeah, I said it. Sticky fun. Not to be confused with sticky buns. Though this week's casual fare comes to you in the form of the much maligned adjective 'sticky,' it's gameplay is addictive and fun -- Rez-like in it's visuals and unlike nearly all shooters we've played, Tumiki Fighters serves as a demo (at this point, though it wasn't always this way) for it's older Wii-born brother, Blast Works: Build, Trade, Destroy.

The novelty of the game is simple: you're a ship, you shoot other ships and as their vessels fall, you may catch them by sticking to them and thus, they become part of your now-uber ship -- cannons and all. And yes, the eventuality of this is a bullet hell game like you wouldn't believe with some really great new ideas regarding character health and weapons upgrades.

Unfortunately, though we strive for multi-platform capable games here, Tumiki Fighters is only available for those of you running Windows. If you really like what you get here though, BW:BTD seems to be not only a capable extension of the single-player game but also incorporates a (supposedly very complex and detailed) level editor. And now, if you'll excuse me, I need to go to sleep. No one wake me up with a cold, sticky hand to the face.

Week-End Podcast Roundup -- Everyone's On Time(!) Edition

It's been more than a few weeks since we've been able to say that all the weekly podcasts came in before midnight on Friday night but hallelujah, this week we're in under the wire. Admittedly, it's hard to pay attention to writing this with Uwe Boll making an ass of himself (is that possible? isn't that like an oxymoron?) on G4's Attack of the Show...right this minute. You're already missing it! Here's some stuff to occupy yourself with for, ummmm, the rest of the weekend -- and yeah, it's sorta kinda confirmed.

GFW Radio (feat. Jeff Green, Shawn Elliott, Sean Malloy, and Ryan Scott)
The GiantBombcast (feat. Jeff Gerstmann and Ryan Davis)
Joystiq Podcast (feat. Chris Grant, Ludwig Kietzmann and Justic McElroy)
The CAGcast (feat Cheapy D and Wombat)
The 1UP Show and 1UP Yours Podcast (feat. Garnett Lee, Shane Bettenhausen John Davison and Shawn Elliott)

We've barely begun digging into this week's podcasts as Command & Conquer 3: Tiberium Wars may or may not have just arrived, pausing the full work week experience that is Grand Theft Auto 4. We'll have more to say on the former a little later in the week, though a full-blown review would be a little much at this juncture, no? In the meantime, we've got a party to attend in Philadelphia. Maybe we'll see you there!

Oh Sh*t, Oh Sh*t, Oh Sh*t, Oh Sh*t, Oh Sh*t, Oh Sh*t, Oh Sh*t, Oh Sh*t, Oh Sh*t, Oh Sh*t, Oh Sh*t, Oh Sh*t, Oh Sh*t.

Ok so, oh sh*t, they're really making a Bioshock movie? Oh, sh*t. Directed by Gore Verbinski and written by John Logan? And it's going to be rated R? Oh, sh*t. This could be the best thing that's ever happened, or the worst aeroplane disaster of a century. Oh, Sh*t.

Via Joystiq
oh sh*t

The Bourne Conspiracy XBL Demo

In the midst of all the frenetic GTA IV happenings we've managed to pull ourselves away for a few seconds to check out The Bourne Conspiracy demo on XBL. First impression? Lots of quick time events, for everything. Need to jump to another ledge? Quick time. Need to slide under a closing gate? Quick time. Need to spin your car around to avoid a large truck? Quick time. I don't want to say quick time events are lazy because they can be implemented well, but I'd rather play a game where the framework allows you to do these things yourself.

That being said, The Bourne Conspiracy does a pretty good job of at least making the quick time events feel natural within the game. After the first play through you get a pretty good sense of when you're going to have to use them. Better to use them constantly than randomly surprise you throughout a level. The combat system is pretty simple and allows for counter moves and some sweet finishes. Gun play feels believable at best and is actually fairly similar to GTA IV's auto-aim system. High Moon Studios also has something to prove here since traditionally movie to video game adaptations have been about as popular as a suicide bomber on a subway. So I'm surmising that this version we're seeing is pretty much what we're going to get on the release.

I can't say I didn't have fun playing the demo, though, which makes me optimistic for its launch. It's not going win any medals, especially for it's driving sections, but it should make for a good one night stand.

Awesome.

The Greatest Composer You've Never Heard Of

Inon Zur is a man with an amazing name -- let's be upfront about that. But did you know that he's composed soundtracks for over 30 videogames, and good ones at that? With big names like Company of Heroes: Opposing Fronts (Relic Entertainment / THQ) and Crysis (Crytek/EA) under his belt, the composer's aforementioned amazing name carries with it a pedigree few others can match.

Well, good news for people who like good news: today, Bethesda Softworks announced their collaboration with Zur on their upcoming lunchbox collectible post-apocalyptic shooter, Fallout 3. Considering they've already worked together (admittedly on Pirates of the Caribbean: The Legend of Jack Sparrow) and the fact that Zur also worked on Fallout Tactics: Brotherhood of Steel (again, admittedly, a Fallout game few outside the fanboy circle will remember, though well reviewed), we can't imagine this being a poor match-up. In fact, based on the epic opening music for Crysis, we can't wait to hear the grandeur Inon Zur's composing talents will bring to the table.

Also, according to the Bethesda Softworks press release:

"Currently under development at Bethesda Game Studios – creators of award-winning The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion®, the 2006 Game of the Year – Fallout 3 is slated for release this Fall on Xbox 360®video game and entertainment system from Microsoft, PLAYSTATION®3 computer entertainment system, and Games for Windows."

Release window confirmed? Alright, we kind of already knew this vague information, but reading it once again, much closer to Fall 2008 than when we originally read it (in June of last year), helps to reassure the trepidatious gamer.

GTAIV Makes Boatloads of Cash

In case you were doubting that Grand Theft Auto IV was going to make crazy shit tons of money, the New York Times is reporting that a whopping six million copies of the game have been sold, with over half of those being sold on the first day. That is, apparently, over 500 million dollars, which is more than the net worth of both Olsen twins combined. Egads!

How Can You Have Any Pudding If You Don't Eat Your Meat!?

Hot off the presses people! Online interactive magazine? Who knew? Unfortunately not us. Created by the folks at gamerzines.com, it's a great interactive .pdf file of the upcoming 360 slasher/gorefest that is Ninja Gaiden II. Includes videos pictures and other interactive elements showcasing the game. Plus if you go to their website you can subscribe for free to a variety of their different console magazines (They also produce content for DS, PS3, Wii, PSP, etc).




So what's the catch? Well it's pretty much all sunshine and rainbows. I read through the Ninja Gaiden II issue, and although it was the only issue I've ever read, I didn't see a single criticism of the game. But what the hell it's an easy way to get first looks at screens and gameplay videos sent directly to your inbox. What are you waiting for? 'Cause when you're a gamer, you know what happens when you stand still... (Wait... I know this one... hold.. on...)

Rock Band DLC Coming to PS2/Wii

The folks at Harmonix, MTV and EA collectively announced their plans to make a 20-track disc of (seemingly random) downloadable songs collected from the 360/PS3 versions of Rock Band for the PS2 and Wii today, aptly titled Rock Band Track Pack Volume 1. According to their press release, the disc, "features an electrifying mix of classic hits and current favorites, including songs by Boston, Nine Inch Nails, Stone Temple Pilots, and All American Rejects." Oooh, All American Rejects! Ok, maybe not. The price point is fair if not very reasonable at $29.99 for this smattering of rock and roll hits, though certain selections seem a bit...unclear. The finalized track list follows:

30 Seconds to Mars, "The Kill" <-----Yeah, what?
All American Rejects, "Move Along"
Blink – 182, "All the Small Things"
Boston, "More Than a Feeling"
David Bowie, "Moonage Daydream"
Faith No More, "We Care A Lot"
Grateful Dead, "Truckin’"
The Hives, "Die, All Right!"
KISS, "Calling Dr. Love"
Lynyrd Skynyrd, "Gimme’ Three Steps"
Nine Inch Nails, "March of the Pigs" <-----Woot!
Oasis, "Live Forever"
Paramore, "Crushcrushcrush"
The Police, "Synchronicity II"
Queens of the Stone Age, "Little Sister" <-----Woot!
The Ramones, "Teenage Lobotomy" <-----Woot!
Smashing Pumpkins, "Siva" <-----Woot!
Stone Temple Pilots, "Interstate Love Song"
Weezer, "Buddy Holly" <-----Woot!
Wolfmother, "Joker & the Thief"

So for those suffering from the Wii's lack of a hard drive for downloadable content and those holding fast hope for the big PS2 revival (any day now!), this disc of dlc will act as your vicarious use of the internet through modern videogame consoles. Oh, and it'll be released for PS2/Wii on Tuesday, July 15th. But wouldn't you really be better served saving that money towards a 360 or PS3? Just sayin' is all.

[Early Impressions] All Apologies

Apologies to everyone from us here at QP. We haven't gotten a review up of GTA IV. We're still waiting on that for one very good reason: we can't put it down! It's like that episode of Doug where he wins a "Super-Pretendo" and and stays up all weekend playing "Space Munks" only to realize he hasn't even started his paper for class.

So to make up for the lack of review I'll tell you what has impressed me the most so far. GTA IV has done one thing I haven't seen in a video game so far, and that is using the physics engine to drive some of the cinematics. Key word here being 'some.' Specifically, on one of the first Playboy X missions, you have to snipe some guys watching guard off of construction equipment. Each time you shoot them the game goes to a cut scene, showing the enemy falling to the ground. The first time one guy simply smashed face first into the ground. On the second play the same enemy fell in a totally different way and a shot discharged from his weapon. The little things people! It's incredible how much Rockstar thought about when making this game.

Casual Monday -- You Have to Shave the Beard Edition

Sometimes, you just have to make that giant recreation of your favorite 2D side-scroller's character costumes and then do battle. Let's be clear -- it's the right thing to do. (Is he fighting Gohan?) Either way, this week's casual release comes to us as a confusing menagerie of meta-game/actual-game/flash-game/beard-game, in the form of Castle Crashing The Beard -- a mini-game created for the Behemoth programmer (and newgrounds.com creator) Tom Fulp. Simply put, CCTB is centered around one man's quest to not shave until his work is done and one castle crasher's fight against that.

According to the horse's mouth directly, "Tom Fulp, creator of Newgrounds.com and programmer for “The Behemoth” has vowed not to shave his face until the release of his next console game, Castle Crashers for the X-Box 360 live-arcade. Newgrounds office workers have noticed Tom’s behavior and sanity steadily declining as his beard grows.
Will Tom win his battle to finish Castle Crashers, or will “The Beard” win in the end?"

So you've seen it here first! You can now say with confidence you've played a really good meta-game/actual-game/flash-game/beard-game. Hey, at very least it was entertaining, right? See y'all in the cut.

Week-End Podcast Roundup -- GTA4 (and Not Much More) Edition

Yes, yes, we're playing it. We heart it too. A review is coming -- it's long! And you know this. That doesn't mean nothing else is goin' on! Noted by Joystiq's Justin McElroy in this week's Joystiq Podcast (the same podcast that held up production of this very podcast roundup, thank you very much), output in the games journalism field this entire week has taken a significant downturn, with every single podcast weighing in notoriously lighter than usual (including their own.)

GiantBomb pulls an all-nighter and Jeff Gerstmann is nearly zombified, 1UP Yours gets philosophical (shocking!), Cheapy and Wombat talk about poop (less shocking) and GFW Radio has disappeared (let's hope not permanently.) All this and more, [tips hat] as your weekend is (nearly?) confirmed.

The GiantBombcast (feat. Jeff Gerstmann and Ryan Davis)
Joystiq Podcast (feat. Chris Grant, Ludwig Kietzmann and Justic McElroy)
The CAGcast (feat Cheapy D and Wombat)
The 1UP Show and 1UP Yours Podcast (feat. Garnett Lee, Shane Bettenhausen, Nick Suttner and Shawn Elliott)

And finally, Quarterplay would like to give a shoutout to everyone at the Cottman Avenue GameStop in Northeast Philadelphia for handling such a massive turnout with relative ease and professionalism, as well as the free pizza (thanks Papa John's, you pseudo-pizzeria, you.) Though I, (me, personally, Benjamin Gilbert), do not necessarily agree with many practices of the GameStop corporation on the whole, individual branches are often full of nice individuals who play games actively and are (usually) friendly -- this specific location especially. Don't hate the player, hate the game, right? Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to return to Liberty City...

IGN Hate Boat Going Full Sail

To keep with my personal vested interested in yesterday's news regarding Surfer Girl Reviews Star Wars and IGN, I'm once again using Quarterplay to show our readers exactly what I'm talking about when I make a statement as straight up as, "No more IGN."

The video, linked above, was pulled from IGN.com (presumably) following the pounding of many angry fists. Leigh Alexander puts it concisely in her opening paragraphs:

"Regardless of what I think of their work, I try not to criticize other outlets, insult other journalists or anything tacky like that. After all, we're all on the same side here, everyone's fallible and I certainly don't claim to be Captain Queen Awesome or anything, to say the least.

But when IGN does something like this, I can't help it. What the fuck were you guys thinking? Do you really think so little of your audience? Worse, do you really think so little of the industry?"

I agree wholeheartedly. It's really hard to break form and openly "talk shit" or disparage other outlets, especially considering the original video was pulled and I'm not even sure who personally I'm disparaging, but when it's necessary, it's necessary. What do you readers think? I know it isn't everyone who looks at videogames as art (and in most cases, I myself do not) but I would like to think videogame enthusiast outlets (ourselves included) could do readers in general a favor and not assume they're the morons screaming racial slurs on Xbox Live or frothing at the mouth masses, anxiously awaiting more T&A (though I'm not above admitting more T&A isn't always out of place -- natch.) More on this as it, undoubtedly, unfolds.

New Street Fighter 4 Screens Released, Maniacal Laughing Confirmed

Cruising through these giant, interconnected tubes this morning, we found ourselves face to face with the big boss himself -- M. Bison. Unsurprisingly, he was standing in a corner, arms folded across his chest, laughing in our collective face. That was before he started conjuring energy attacks with his bare hands. Terrifying, we know. Lucky for you, we captured some shots of the boss man, as well as some of his buddies, who will round out the SF4 cast upon the game's "To Be Announced" release date. First up, the man with the big red cap:

Look at those dead, lifeless eyes! He's like a big teddybear! And the way that matter bends around his presence, enough to give a girl the vapors!

Next up is everyones favorite backscratch post, Vega. We know you've got a mask on sir, but could you please give us something? Maybe a bit of blood or dirt to show you've been fighting? How about a big band-aid under your eye like Nelly? We kid!

And finally we present you with a leaping shot of Sagat (aka, the man with the cheap fireballs) who is, fittingly, hanging out on a pirate ship. ::insert obvious eyepatch joke here:: We'll keep the shots coming if we run into any more of these guys. Oh, and Capcom, how about some real information next time?

Journalistic Integrity? What's That?

We're not exactly known for our hard hitting investigative reporting and industry-wide criticisms here at Quarterplay (though it is known to happen), but as a major of journalism and a believer in journalistic integrity, it would be flat out impossible for me, personally, to not post something regarding the recent "McIGN" statements made by everyone's favorite videogame rumor blog, Surfer Girls Reviews Star Wars.

He/she tears apart recent posts by IGN Nintendo Associate Editor Daemon Hatfield as well as IGN Nintendo editor in chief Matt Casamassina, citing misinformation and editorial mixing with advertising. I'm not one to take many stances, especially regarding my career and it's future, but as I've been saying in person to friends for the past few years, IGN is a terrible website. The fact that it's Fox-owned doesn't help, but it's terrible writing combined with it's "fuck everyone else" attitude, as a human being, pushes me elsewhere. Remember IGN's Hilary Goldstein taking potshots at CheapyD (of CheapAssGamer fame) on his podcast? I sure do, and I'm willing to bet CheapyD does as well.

The gaming community has little space for tough guy jerks and elitist mentality. Personally, I listen to about eight or nine gaming podcasts a week and not a single one is from IGN. I tried -- they're not funny and they're smattered with arrogance. So let me be the first, speaking for myself and not for Quarterplay on the whole, to say this: No more IGN. In the immortal words of Hans Moleman, "Let's not listen."


PS: The picture at the top is for real, and thus, "McIGN." GameSpot is notorious for skinning their site in ads as well (remember the Kane & Lynch fiasco?), so we're not sayin' anything about this. Hell, if you want to skin Quarterplay in Target ads and pay off my college loan, go for it. It does look ridiculous though, let's be honest.

Assault Heroes 2 Gets Dated, Detailed

Hot off the steamy, giant, interconnected tubes comes news today that a sequel to everyone's favorite Smash TV ripoff is coming to Xbox Live Arcade on May 14th. You guessed it (clearly with help from the picture to your left) -- Assault Heroes 2 has been slated for the aforementioned mid-May release, bringing with it, "hi-jackable enemy vehicles, more levels and enhanced on-foot and co-operative gameplay modes."

We suppose that the whole vehicles thing helps separate this from it's many top-down shooter brethren, though it's thinly veiled yet takes-itself-too-seriously story didn't help differentiate it the first time around. IGN had a lovefest with the first one, though they did agree that it's story was as silly as the fact that they tried implementing a story into an XBLA game. If you, like us, spent nine straight hours playing Ikari Warriors when you were a child just to see it's stupid, stupid ending, then you may have burnt out on these (completely infuriating) kind of games a little while ago. For the rest of you, Assault Heroes 2 comes out in two weeks. At the very worst it's a possible 200 Nerd Points, but who're we kidding, you'll be playing GTA4 with us online, right?

Microsoft (Barely) Details GTA4 Exclusive DLC Release Date

Continuing the deluge of Grand Theft Auto 4 information, a press release from Microsoft today notes, "Starting this autumn, Xbox 360 owners will also have access to exclusive Grand Theft Auto IV episodes that will provide hours of additional game play." This autumn being officially September 21st through December 20th, we're going all the way crazy and saying this date's just a bit hazy in it's specifics. Considering I'm roughly five percent through the main story and have owned it for five hours or so, they can take all the time they need -- for now. Us here at QP will of course keep you updated as more details unfold.

Launch of the Year? GTA4 Midnight Release, Philly Style

As people waking up for class/work in the next five or six hours, it'd be hard to say we're glad that Grand Theft Auto 4 inspired GameStop (among other retailers) to hold midnight release events wherein you arrive late at night, buy your copy of the game ('Would you like a strategy guide with that? 20% off if you buy it with the game!') and then proceed to go home and play it well past any reasonable hour (it's currently 3:30 in the morning.) That last part, we suppose, is optional, though hardly controllable. We arrived at the local area GameStop around 11:40, debit card in hand, and $64.19 later, we were lining up to wait out the rest of the hour with everyone else. The line, as you can sort of see, was extensive, though not disabling so. As detailed in our previous midnight release coverage, this particular GameStop location handles events such as these with relative ease -- politely ushering everyone in and out, keeping people informed and generally making the situation a pleasant one.

In the intermediary, we took time to speak with the lucky group of fellas heading up the (by midnight) 200+ person raving beast we dare call a "line." Anthony, Joe and Rob like Grand Theft Auto quite a bit -- not necessarily first-in-line-at-a-Star-Wars-opening level excitement, but excited enough that they arrived three hours ahead of time. (We should mention, though located within Philadelphia city limits, this particular GameStop location isn't exactly in an exciting neighborhood, so three hours here means something.) Anthony was the glorified gamer among the group, having played and completed nearly all GTA's, excluding only Vice City Stories for the PSP and having started with number two on the Playstation 1. GTA3 was the majority favorite among these guys, who were all prepared to go home and start immediately.

Upon exiting the glowing light of GameStop's front windows and seeing the line for what it had truly become, we snapped another shot to our best ability (which is to say very little), and QP blogger extraordinaire Shawn Annable noted, "There have to be at least 200 people here. This is nuts." Within minutes the clock had struck midnight and the line began moving -- fast.

As you can clearly see, we certainly didn't leave empty handed. A quick trip to the nearby Wendy's to insure gastrointestinal problems later in the night sealed our adventure with a greasy and over-processed kiss. In case you were wondering, the mysterious markings on my receipt are just a few of the Ancient Druid rune writings, passed down centuries upon centuries through dynasty to dynasty of GameStop Regional Managers. It's beauty knows no bounds.

It's currently 4:30 in the a.m. when I type these last words, half wired on coffee/half asleep from exhaustion. We're glad GTA4 came out on a Monday, seriously.

Uwe Bolls Wants to Beat Your $#%, Michael Bay

It would be straight up unfair to not mention this to you fine folks. Known for directing such classy films as Alone in the Dark and House of the Dead, Uwe Boll has made a name for himself by inspiring hate as a byproduct of his work (especially from gamers.) His latest film, Postal, based on the terrible game of the same name has him back in the news, this time challenging Michael Bay (yes, that Michael Bay) to a boxing match after Bay had the gall to say he didn't care about Mr. Salad, er, Mr. Boll. This kind of thing wouldn't even normally be tied to his terrible productions, but this time his public statement of idiocy is meant to inspire folks who were out there fence sitting about seeing it. So in other words, this is targeted at nobody. It is, however, hilarious. Good luck removing Uwe-isms from your daily conversations!

Casual Monday -- Back On the Horse Edition

Another week, another bloody fight to the death, er, free casual game, just for you! This week we bring you a throwback to the future with Noitu Love & the Army of Grinning Darns, a title straight outta konjak.org that's spilling over the top with 16/32-bit era goodness. It's kind of like MegaMan, it's kind of like Castlevania and it's 100% free to download (unlike it's sequely brother, most recently featured on the 1UP Show.)

The game is an interesting twist on a classic platformer setup in that it changes how you interact with the enemies -- more specifically, this game is a combination of Final Fight/Double Dragon and MegaMan. You are guiding your character with the typical 'wasd' setup and attacking enemies with the click of your mouse. (Nearly) more important than any of this: Noitu Love was made by a single man. Dude did the music, art, programming, testing...everything. You may want to check out the game based on this impressive caveat alone. And with that, we'll leave you to your murdering, you murderer.