Hardcore Gamers, Going Soft

Apparently, I'm going through a mid-life gaming crisis. According to Techradar, as a gamer, I am, as they so gently put it, "no longer a hardcore gamer." Sad!

Here are the things on their list that apply to me.

"You prefer playing against the computer."
I don't think that makes me an old fogey, I think that just means that I don't like playing with homophobic fanboys who shriek into the microphone.

"You believe that winning isn't everything."
Winning is fun, sure, but I don't usually get my panties in a wad if I don't win. Unless it's GoldenEye.

"It's been days, not hours since you last switched on your console."
Um, make that "weeks." I've been busy!

"You avoid playing on the Wii because it’s too much effort."
I'm somewhat ashamed to admit that, actually. I even get annoyed that I have to use the Wiimote in order to get into a game I have on the Virtual Console (Donkey Kong Country, anyone?)

"Your FPS experience consists of spawn, run, die... spawn, run, die... spawn..."
That's just because I suck at FPSs. Except GoldenEye (which I'm still good at, thankyouverymuch).

"You find the idea of videogames based on board games perfectly acceptable."
Many a fifth grade recess was spent inside with a group of friends huddled around the computer playing Monopoly. The fact that a new Monopoly game is coming out later this year has not escaped my notice. (Merely three years older than Katie, I've only played Monopoly on an actual, physical board. Weird. - Ed.)

"You've pre-ordered GTA IV but don't mind if it doesn't turn up on launch day."
Actually, I haven't pre-ordered GTA4. I probably won't get it until sometime in May, and I'm perfectly OK with that.


So there you go. Personally, I call bullshit. If all my years of gaming have turned me into a snob who doesn't like to play with other people and is perfectly content to not play games for a while, does that make me any less "hardcore"? Actually...don't answer that.