Uwe Boll is Never Making a WoW Movie...Ever

And seriously, thanks to the benevolent being that granted us with this truth. According to the MTV Movies Blog, "The Bowl" (or "The Bowel", depending on what day you ask us) approached Blizzard's Paul Sams about a movie adaptation of their cash producing virtual ziggurat and Sams had this to say in response, "We will not sell the movie rights, not to you…especially not to you." Boll continued digging his own personal ditch by adding, "Because it’s such a big online game success, maybe a bad movie would destroy that ongoing income, what the company has with it."

Even Uwe Boll himself knows the movies he directs are bad, apparently the hypothetical ones as well. In case you were looking to read more hilarious quotes from the man who needs a good PR assistant more than anyone, the rest of the piece can be found here.

Activision CEO Hints at New Guitar Hero Peripherals, Call of Duty MMO Future

In a speech given at the 2008 Morgan Stanley Technology Conference in Dana Point, California yesterday, Activision/Actiblizzard/Blizzavision Chairman and CEO Robert Kotick made some interesting statements regarding the future of two of Activision's biggest franchises -- Call of Duty and Guitar Hero. However, Activision would like you to know this before you know anything about this speech:

"During the course of the presentation, Activision may make forward-looking statements regarding future events or the future financial performance of the company. We wish to caution you that these statements are only predictions and actual events or results may differ materially. We refer you to the company's last Form 10-K and Form 10-Q for a discussion of important risk factors that could cause the actual results to differ materially from those discussed during the course of the presentation."

For serious? So, hey, we're making these statements about the future of our company but, you know, don't take it too seriously. Anyways, there was real news. Regarding the future of Guitar Hero, there were musings regarding getting it into more, Asianer, homes and how they're going to accomplish that with new pahdnah Blizzard.

More interesting though was the discussions regarding the future of the Call of Duty franchise:

"When you think about other properties that we own and control like Call of Duty, and what would be the natural evolution of a property like Call of Duty into a massively multiplayer environment...how do you monetize that?"

Indeed Mr. Kotick, how do you monetize that? Your new friends at Blizzard monetized the hell out of their over nine million worldwide subscriber strong World of Warcraft -- we're sure you guys can work out something (you bastards.)