Quarterplay

Nothin' Says Lovin' Like a Paper Bag Face on Fire

2008-05-22T14:27:00.002-04:00

We done gone up and moved! Though you may have already been seeking us out at Quarterplay.com, we picked up everything you see here and dropped it directly into the welcoming arms of WordPress. So that's that. Goodbye old servers, you did us well.

Attention Idiot Buyers: Get PS3/MGS4 Bundle For 3x MSRP!

2008-05-21T13:06:00.005-04:00

Unsurprisingly, the PlayStation 3/Metal Gear Solid 4 gunmetal grey bundle that everyone is going apeshit over is now being whored out on eBay at ludicrous prices, most hovering around $1,000-$1,500, and one going up to $9,999. What. The. Fuck. I hate stupid rich people.

Am I the only one who thinks the gunmetal version is bullshit? Yes, it's pretty. Yes, I'd like one instead of the black. But it has a 40GB hard drive and is $100 more (or $1,000 more if you're a dumbass and buy it off some scalper on eBay). Granted it comes with the limited edition MGS4, but that's only $25 more than the plain jane edition. And doesn't the 40GB model have issues with backwards compatibility? Whatever. I'll be perfectly content with my 80GB black model when it arrives on my doorstep in June, thank you very much.

Georgia Wants You to Build Video Games

2008-05-21T11:18:00.006-04:00

Georgia recently passed the 2008 Georgia Entertainment Industry Investment Act, designed to attract film, music, and (most importantly to us) gaming firms to the state in an effort to boost revenue. The Act offers a 20 percent flat-tax credit to any production company that spends more than $500,000 on a year's worth of production and post-production. The credit is specifically aimed at animation, interactive content and video game development.

In 2005, Georgia passed a similar act, which led to over a billion dollars in economic impact between 2005 and 2007. Numbers have been slower this year, however, because other states caught on and started offering competetive development incentives as well, according to the Atlanta Business Chronicle.

These kinds of incentives offer further proof that the gaming industry is holding its own against big media players like the music and film industries (GTA IV's effect on Iron Man's box-office performance being the most recent battle between the two industries.)

But why wouldn't a state want to bring in game developers? It's a clean industry that's growing larger everyday. Georgia is smart to lure up-start companies to their state and offer an East Coast alternative to California that isn't New York City. We are a bit concerned about what it will do the the quality of games being released -- next up, Wii Cow Milking.

All Your Base Are Belong To Us

2008-05-20T15:09:00.011-04:00

"Houston we have a problem." That problem being the veritable deluge of excellent gaming product flooding all consoles since last august. It's a miracle any of us here at QP managed to finish our schooling. Riding on the coat tails of that wave comes Space Invaders Extreme a new look for an old favorite. Features power-ups, boss battles, and unrelenting pretty hot and tempting techno beats. Drops June 17 2008 C.E. (that's the common era for those wondering).

It's a good thing we have Hannah Montana: Music Jam to keep us occupied in the mean time. And just let you in on what kind of crazy prepubescent adventures you'll be getting yourself into we've got a screen shot right here for you (You're guess is definetly better and more mature than mine.) I mean who even ever heard of Ninja Gaiden DS?

(Mis)Adventures In Wonderland: The Grand Theft Auto IV Review

2008-05-19T21:28:00.006-04:00

Developer: Rockstar North
Publisher: Rockstar Games -- Take Two Interactive

Where to start?

Let's all be glad Burnout Paradise got to "Welcome To The Jungle" before Rockstar.

This installment of the GTA series places you in the boots of Niko Bellic, an incorrigible immigrant from the Eastern Bloc who committed unspeakable atrocities in his mysterious past and has now been lured to the United States by his cousin with promises of money and women. Yeah, that sounds like a good place to start. Developer Rockstar Games put a tremendous amount of effort into this title and it really shows with jaw dropping incidents, stunning graphics, and a compelling storyline.

First thing's first, this issue of GTA has a strong emphasis on story. The characters are still blown out caricatures, but honestly would the game be as fun (or as funny) if Brucie wasn't always screaming about being genetically superior or commanding you to 'stay alpha'? I don't think so. In the story line, Rockstar wasn't looking for reality. They've set up, I believe, an intriguing though at some points intentionally campy story that really keeps you guessing. However one of the problems the game faces is that there are so many stories and characters that it's easy to forget what's happening. Especially if you're like me, going back and forth between main character missions.

Side missions abound, one example being you're tasked with making friends and keeping them your friends. This sucks. By the halfway point your phone is filled with contacts all wanting to get drunk or throw darts (or both.) Sometimes I just wanted to search the alleys or complete side missions but Little Jacob wanted me to drive him to Cluckin' Bell (Cluckin Bell! Awright rasta) and after I was done with that Dwayne wanted to bring me down with all his ex-con bullshit. You're given an incentive to hang out with these people though -- if you get them to like you enough they provide services for you, such as helicopter rides, discount weapons, backup etc. Careful though: if you're not friendly enough they won't pick up your phone calls. I wouldn't have minded hanging out with them until you unlock the perk, and then always having the perk from that point on, but it gets incredibly tedious hanging out with people, even if they do have something different to say each time they get in the car.

Aside from the veteran side missions of car theft, vigilante justice, and street racing, the main missions feel like there's a reason to be doing them. It's not so much go find this guy and shoot his car until it explodes anymore. Many times a car chase will deliberately be difficult because Rockstar is leading you to a spot where the guys you're chasing bail out and take up defensive positions in a house or park (for instance.) They've also designed a ton of buildings to specifically be a space you fight in, which adds an 'indoors' dimension lacking in previous GTA's.

The story asks you to make decisions affecting future business opportunities (and business partners for that matter.) The result changes the storyline and (depending on your perspective) the entire outcome of the game, which adds yet another layer of replayability, as if we needed anymore.

Rockstar made a good decision this time around by focusing their efforts into making a few gameplay elements really fun and compelling, instead of spreading them out over a ton of semi-fun activities (i.e. jetpacks, planes, sky diving, property ownership.) They implemented the same idea with gamespace as well. One of the things that's been floating around our conversations here at QP is how space in GTA IV is much more useful. Sure, San Andreas was probably the largest GTA in terms of space, but most of that was open fields and dense forests that saw at most three or four missions. Here, every inch of Liberty City is worth scouring, and you'll find yourself at almost every out of the way warehouse or crumbled building complex by the end of the story.

The gameplay in this installment shows great leaps and bounds (within the GTA universe) in some areas, and falls flat in others. Probably the newest and best aspect is the completely revamped aiming system. Pull the left trigger to auto aim, then use the right thumbstick pick your shot: head, hand, foot, etc. You can also go the much harder and arguably more manlier route by free aiming. Free aiming requires you to hold the left trigger half way, and allows you to have complete control over what you're shooting at -- very useful for shooting exploding barrels or car tires, not practical at all for taking down baddies.

Rockstar also added a cover system that serves its purpose fairly well. The cover system is pretty sticky, which is good for missions that are designed for you to use the cover system. However, if you get caught up in a gunfight on a street crowded with cars or stuck in a tight space, it's nearly impossible to predict where Niko will take cover. You can also jump from cover-to-cover a la Gears of War -- and from my experiences it works much better than Gears.

Your environment in GTA IV is much more conducive to losing police in alleys and backyards. They've given Niko a quick hop over smaller objects, and the ability to hang on to and shimmy to and fro on a ledge. Ladders provide easy vertical access providing rooftop shootouts and building-to-building firefights. In general, getting around on foot is easier and way more fun than previous installments.

Unfortunately, GTA IV still suffers from a case of what I like to call 'The Walkies.' The walkies have been in every GTA since they've gone 3-D and it refers to the phenomenon of not being able to stop your character on a precise spot. Walking near a ledge is a death wish because when you let go of the thumbstick Niko inexplicably takes one or two more steps. Forget turning around quickly because Mr. Bellic needs more room than most cruise ships to complete his semi-circular procedure before finally facing the other direction (he must have hurt his knee or hip in the war or something.) Whatever you do, DO NOT combine any of the aforementioned moves with the sprint button as you'll inevitably end up looking down the barrel of a cop's shotgun.

Driving is very fun and controllable, though it takes a while to get used to; once you're set though, it's easy like Sunday morning. GTA IV also desperately needs an easier way to switch guns -- how about the 'B' button guys? Come on! It's arguable that current-gen consoles shouldn't even use d-pads anymore, let alone poorly implemented ones (yes, I'm looking at you, Xbox 360), but I shouldn't have to stop moving if I want to switch my weapon.

For my money, GTA IV is the best looking game around, especially when you consider everything the engine is doing. The graphics sport a hint of Crackdown in a very subtle, comic book, black outline kind of way (stylized anyone?) Every block is extremely detailed and completely unique which really helps with navigating the four islands. A wide selection of cars to choose from, all sporting variations on sun roofs, convertibles, and gold trim, among other things, help to keep things fresh. There's also a wide selection of people to run down...or interact with -- whatever.

The only problem I saw with the graphics is that sometimes the details on the road surface will disappear for a second, or objects will pop in(to) view at the last second. This isn't a huge problem though and rarely does it affect the gameplay. The huge variation of cars, people and city blocks, combined with GTA IV's impressive draw distance really bring together the environment like none of it's predecessors. Take a helicopter ride night... tet-tet, shh... just do it.

Multiplayer is intensely addicting. It's bad enough that I still want to play the single player game after putting in seven hours in one day but on top of that they have to give us totally awesome multiplayer? Play anything. It's all fun, we promise. Just be sure you get a host who knows what they're doing. This is important as there's a myriad of game variables just waiting to be tweaked: weather, spawn distance, re-spawn time, amount of traffic...it seriously goes on like this for quite some time -- and they all can seriously affect how fun and fair the game is. However one element that must be changed is re-spawn distance. If it's set to 'near' you're just going to be spawned right next to the person who killed you. You're going to want some time and space to get stocked again after you're hit in any game mode.

Speaking of modes, GTA IV multiplayer sports cops and robbers (just like it sounds), street racing, deathmatch, co-op missions, and perhaps the most addicting: free mode (among others.) In free mode you simply wreak havoc on friends and the dear citizens of Liberty City for as long as you like. No rules.

Make no mistake about it, it's very easy to get caught up in all the hype surrounding this game. Mostly, said hype is justified. There will be moments when you curse the game for it's somewhat clumsy controls or lack of checkpoint system (I have to drive this dump truck to Broker, again?), but for every moment that plays smoothly, GTA IV shines brilliantly and constantly demonstrates why it indeed deserves the title of most hyped game of 2008.

Casual Monday -- What Ubisoft Needs to Do Edition

2008-05-19T16:14:00.004-04:00

They need to steal this idea and run with it immediately, that's what they need to do! Classic Prince of Persia fans take note, Armor Games' Sleepless Knight - Assassin runs a lot like you'd expect a combination of Assassin's Creed, Prince of Persia and Lode Runner to -- the levels themselves are puzzles, the guards are ruthless and your character (Lucy) just can't help but collect inconveniently placed 'coins.'

If it weren't for the squirrelly controls on my laptop's keyboard, this game would be near Portal-level clean in it's ability to (enjoyably) present an entire game in a short period of time -- editing is key in these types of games, folks. However, on the exact opposite end of things, our number one complaint with SKA (like the aforementioned Portal) is it's shortness. That's correct -- we are simultaneously praising and damning a single element of SKA's entirety. It's a wonderful game that we're sure to replay but we can't help but shake the feeling we'd like a little more of a challenge (in the form of additional levels.) Oh, and we'd tell you about the story but seriously, you don't care that much. It's a 20 minute game -- you don't need a story, though they do provide one (and elegantly at that.)

Now get on that, Ubisoft. Check's in the mail, right? Thaaaanks.

Final Fantasy Tactics A2 Gets European Release

2008-05-19T13:10:00.004-04:00

Square Enix apparently noticed that their little Final Fantasy property is kinda sorta popular and that it makes their wallets fat and their fans happy to release sequels galore. That's why they're releasing Final Fantasy Tactics A2: Grimoire of the Rift for the Nintendo DS on June 27th across Europe. No word yet on a release anywhere else, but I think it's safe to assume that it will make its way across the pond eventually. Here's hoping the battle system is better than the first one, which was absolutely horrid (please don't kill me, FFT fans.)

April NDP's: Lesson 2

2008-05-18T20:05:00.006-04:00

As we previously mentioned, the April sales numbers for the gaming industry have massive implications for where things are headed in this GTA IV-centric gaming quarter. Though impressive sales of the game weren't exactly a major blow to the Nintendo Wii, the game's impact on this month's sales numbers are inarguable (thanks mainstream media, for your lack of investigation!)

In case you missed it, the system sales for April were:

Wii: 714,200
Nintendo DS: 414,800
PSP: 192,700
Xbox 360: 188,000
PlayStation 3: 187,100
PlayStation 2: 124,400

Despite the release of the best-selling media in history, Xbox 360 and Playstation 3 had relatively poor sales figures in April. Playstation 3 barely outsold Playstation 2 (that's two-- the old one). Meanwhile, the Wii continued it's rampage of domination, boosted by the release of Mario Kart Wii.

Next Generation has a pretty in-depth analysis of what the GTA IV release means to the console-war.

Arguably, Liberty City is more fun on a 360 than it is on a PS3 (though we couldn't tell you the difference.) And though the gaming public at large is spending their time arguing about native resolutions and pop-in, the poor sales figures for both consoles proves that not all consumers are looking for an expansive, in-depth gaming experience. Most just want to go curling, man.

Week-End Podcast Roundup -- Not At Gamer's Day Edition

2008-05-16T22:05:00.003-04:00

It's raining...still. We're still not in San Francisco, furiously running from one developer's Gamer's Day to another, trying desperately to cover everything we can -- and that's a damn shame. We're still whining! Many apologies -- alas, we can present you with your weekly bevy of humor, romance, drama and videogame news, all wrapped up in nice little linked bows awaiting your eardrums. As you may imagine, Garnett Lee is happy to inform you the weekend is without a doubt, entirely confirmed. (seriously not a rumor)

GFW Radio (feat. Jeff Green, Shawn Elliott, Robert Ashley, Sean Malloy, and Ryan Scott)
The GiantBombcast (feat. Jeff Gerstmann and Ryan Davis)
Joystiq Podcast (feat. Chris Grant, Ludwig Kietzmann and Justic McElroy)
The CAGcast (feat Cheapy D and Wombat)
The 1UP Show and 1UP Yours Podcast (feat. Garnett Lee, David Ellis, and Brad Shoemaker)

Though we're not normally prone to doing this kind of thing, we're taking the opportunity to point out a couple of interesting items on the web we found during the week. Maybe you've seen them, maybe you haven't -- either way, they're certainly worth noting. [get on with it!] Alright alright, here they are:

1.) With the release of Penny Arcade Adventures: On the Rain Slick Precipice of Darkness this coming week, Jerry "Tycho" Holkins and Mike "Gabe" Krahulik have been posting a pre-game comic on their digital distribution site, The Greenhouse. It's meant to reveal a bit of backstory on the characters, but honestly only serves to get us more excited about this sure to be hilarious game. If you're a fan of the Penny Arcade guys, you'll undoubtedly enjoy this like we did.

2.) Surfer Girl has finished reviewing Star Wars! In her/his last post evar, elusive rumor blog Surfer Girl Reviews Star Wars leaves us with no text -- simply an amazing piece on women's yogurt advertising. And with that, she/he is out. It's been fun.

3.) Apparently (breaking news!), LucasArts has just joined the fracas of developers choosing not to renew their membership with the Entertainment Software Association (ESA). They will still be present (at very least) at this year's E3, but according to Margaret Grohne, Director of LucasArts Public Relations, "We can confirm that LucasArts is no longer a member of the ESA. As a company we are still committed to bringing consumers the best interactive experience possible and support the ESA's mission in the industry." Big things are shaking down with the ESA, just not sure what's causing it all yet.

And now, try and enjoy your weekend with all this on your plate.

April NPD's: Lesson One

2008-05-16T14:05:00.006-04:00

The NDP Group's report on April sales for gaming were released yesterday. Interestingly, GTA IV was at the top for the 360 -- and came in at third for PS3. While everyone has been over and over how the game sold zillions of copies in its first 24 hours on April 29, it's interesting to look at its sales in April compared to the other big release of the month (Mario Kart Wii, anyone?) It blew Mario Kart and every other April release out of the water, in just one day, as predicted.

Here's the breakdown of April's sales:

Games:

360 GTA IV: 1,850,000
Wii Mario Kart w/ wheel: 1,120,000
PS3 GTA IV: 1,000,000
Wii Play: 360,000
Wii Super Smash Bros. Brawl: 326,000
PS3 Gran Turismo 5: Prologue: 224,000
DS Pokemon Mystery Dungeon: Explorers of Darkness: 202,000
DS Pokemon Mystery Dungeon: Explorers of Time: 202,000
Wii Guitar Hero III: 152,000
360 Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare: 141,000

Systems:

Wii: 714,200
Nintendo DS: 414,800
PSP: 192,700
Xbox 360: 188,000
PlayStation 3: 187,100
PlayStation 2: 124,400

There's a whole lot more to be analyzed in these prophetic numbers, so stay tuned. But here's one more number: In April, the videogame industry had $1.23 billion in sales. $1.23 billion.

$1.23 billion (000,000,000).

Thanks to Game|Life.

As If "Family Game Night" Wasn't a Scary Enough Idea...

2008-05-16T13:41:00.004-04:00

That's right, EA's digitzing Connect Four (and five other Hasbro board games you may have heard of) for a Wii/PS2 game titled Hasbro Family Game Night -- another title harnessing user-created content creatively, this time in the form of large family arguments. Other than the classic versions of Battleship, Yahtzee, Connect Four, Sorry and Boggle packed onto the disc you also get a new version of Sorry, gastronomically titled "Sorry! Sliders" -- let's hope this doesn't involve Jerry O'Connell either.

According directly to the horse's mouth, "...families can enjoy familiar classic Hasbro board games or throw in a fun spin with new versions like Connect Four Power Chips, Boggle Portal Cubes, Reverse Yahtzee and Battleship Barrage – which add fresh dimensions and challenges to these legendary favorites." FRESH DIMENSIONS?! Well frankly, we're terrified by that statement. Can you imagine watching television and all of a sudden there was a fresh dimension? Would you just go into the erotic cakes store? Let's be honest: we all would.

GameStop has the title listed at $39.99 and $29.99 for the Wii and PS2 respectively, so it's got that going for it (which is nice.) Can you tell it's a rainy Friday with all the t.v. and movie references? See y'all later on in the roundup!

BREAKING: GTA IV's Liberty City based on New York City

2008-05-15T14:07:00.022-04:00

Okay, so you already knew that, but a bunch of sites have popped up comparing specific buildings IRL (in real life) to Grand Theft Auto IV.

All previous installments of GTA have been based on specific locations, but developer Rockstar Games has taken the similarities to a new level this time around, and some NYC politicians are less than pleased.

"Setting Grand Theft Auto in the safest big city in America would be like setting Halo in Disneyland," said City Councilman Peter Vallone, chairman of the Council's Public Safety Committee [New York Daily News].

While the idea of sticking Mickey Mouse or Goofy with a plasma grenade is incredibly distracting, the point is that GTA IV is a better game for its similarities to real-life New York City. As with any piece of pop-culture that even mentions New York, the personality of the city and the superior existence it takes to live there has become a major focus of the game. In The New York Times review of the game, they barely mention little things like the gameplay, focusing instead on how the game "almost smells like NYC." Give me a break.

Setting GTA IV in New York City elevates the game to a higher level of cultural significance. There is no cooler place, in the U.S., to set a city block ablaze or rip through the skyline at night in a helicopter. It also brings the series full circle.

Everybody has been talking about how the game's attention to detail is what makes it so great and allows it to make people-smuggling-boatloads of cash. Who wouldn't want to mow down a few Wall Street [The Exchange] investors or shoot a few Brooklyn [Broker] hipsters in the kneecap? In the same vein, the real-life landmarks make the game more fun between the missions, which is what Grand Theft Auto has always been about.

Check out some of these specific comparisons to landmarks IRL with GTA IV:

Matthew Johnston created a Flickr set with screenshots from real life and the game.

Ed Levine's New York City restaurant blog, New York Eats, takes a specific look at how places to eat in Liberty City compare to the Big Apple.

Eurogamer.net has a video comparing landmarks.

Gta4.net has, by far, the best list of comparisons with good photos and descriptions.

Strong Bad Coming To (a) Wii Near You

2008-05-15T14:05:00.008-04:00

Sorry, nearly two years out and wii still just can't help it with the Wii jokes. Finally breaking a string of heart breaking(ly) awful press releases comes this gem: Strong Bad's Cool Game For Attractive People (video link). The point-and-click adventure is being developed by Telltale Games with collaboration from series creators Mike and Matt Chapman. We just worry that this point-and-click adventure game will essentially be a Homestar Runner episode that dips into our precious, precious Wii points (damn housing markets.) Hell, even if it's not fun to play at least it'll be funny. Drops June 2008 C.E.

Can You Kill a Legend? Apparently.

2008-05-15T12:43:00.009-04:00

We can't help it -- at this point, we're kind of developing a theme here. Another day has passed and thus, another silly press release detailing another poor-to-middling game has washed up on the shores of QPHQ, rife with exaggerated adjectives and plenty of symbols (^® and TM, specifically), patiently awaiting our careful ~~snarkiness~~ scrutiny.

This time it's not a game about touching sharp objects or jamming as many mini-games onto a single disc as possible (for Wii? NEVER!) but something you've totally heard of...wait for it...Cabela's Legendary Adventures! Remember all those weekends you went hunting with Pah and your black-mouthed cur Rufus? Remember all those white-tailed deer you two shot together, laughing and whooping as mead ran down your respective beards? Yeah, I don't either but you can certainly try and live out these mis-adventures in CLA when it releases this Fall. In fact, you can shoot more than just Bambi's white-tailed mother!

Yukon moose? Yup. Alaskan brown bear? You'd better believe it. Roosevelt elk? Okay, no Roosevelt elk. KIDDING! Roosevelt elk confirmed! Okay, okay, enough. This is a franchise that has existed for it's fair share of versions at this point and we're willing to bet the videogamer/hunter, just like the videogamer/car enthusiast, will run out and buy this one without hesitation.

Those of you out there waiting for your ~~next-gen~~ (current-gen, we're from now on calling Xbox 360 and PS3 current-gen) hunting experience will have to wait though, as Cabela's Legendary Adventures will only be released on PSP, Wii and PS2. And unlike yesterday's press release of doom, today's actually got me interested in playing a game that I've never given a shot before. Just like that. Any QP'ers out there looking forward to getting your hunt on?

Touch Darts -- That's a Command

2008-05-14T15:26:00.007-04:00

Continuing right along in our developing string of write-ups on games bound to sell only to the uninformed and cheap, today we bring you all the information you could possibly ever want on the newest game from Agetec, Inc.: Touch Darts. And we're worried about what GTA4 is doing to kids when games like this exist, blatantly ~~telling~~ commanding our children to touch sharp things? To shame! Either way, just like regretful Agetec titles Cookie & Cream and Puzzle Guzzle before it, Touch Darts sets out to entertain through mini-games and kid friendly themes (though the vast majority of dart playing in this country takes place in 21+ bars...) while simultaneously creating a game that isn't necessarily perfect on a Nintendo DS. If we've said it once, we've said it a thousand times: don't use the touch screen/microphone on the DS unless it makes sense.

Either way, according to Agetec (we feel as though they at least deserve to say their piece), "This game will make you feel as if you were really in your living room, at your friend’s house, in the pub, or in a tournament tossing darts." We're going to go all the way crazy here and guess that even if Rockstar Games themselves developed this title, ain't no way a Nintendo DS is going to emulate the pub. Maybe if there was an old drunk blowing smoke through the DS' speakers? We digress. As you can see to the right, the two tiny screens are more than chock full of information (and a watermark, thanks IGN), providing you with all pertinent information required for a real game of video darts. All in all, though this game very well may be a diamond in the rough, we're putting our money on the other pony -- any other pony -- this time. However, if you are interested, Touch Darts will be released in North America in June. Me? I'll be at the bar with Brucie, tossing darts a little differently.

Deca Sports? Yeah, We've Never Heard of it Either

2008-05-13T12:32:00.004-04:00

And yes, it looks just as bad as you might think. However, boasting 10 sports, "...players can compete in beach volleyball, snowboard cross, badminton, basketball, curling, figure skating, archery, supercross, soccer and kart racing." and featuring waggle-icious control for every single one (oh boy! waggle curling!), Deca Sports is poised to take the 5 to 11-year old market by storm (especially at the Wal-Mart friendly price of $29.99.)

Let's be clear here folks: this game looks like junk. The trailer (which I very stupidly sat through in it's entirety) actually served to make me less interested in a game I already didn't care about -- the video equivalent of being told something meaningless while simultaneously being hit in the groin, if you will. I was left feeling anger towards the knowledge, though for reasons unrelated directly to it's content.

The cover and weak title should say enough but they don't quite convey the hopelessness found within the press release for this title. Usually feigned excitement sounds better than “With summer on the horizon, we anticipate Deca Sports being a popular choice for those looking for a fun-filled Wii experience.” Hell yes. Either way, GameRankings is already calling this game another piece for the pile of middling if not outright poor Wii games. As you might expect with a hit title like this, it's out this very minute. At least they didn't spend a lot of money on marketing, right? Seriously though, this is why I never play my Wii. If any of you out there are playing and enjoying/hating this game, feel free to drop us a line and let us know why it's amazing/terrible. Lord knows it ain't goin' on our GameFly queue. Thanks Hudson Soft.

Casual Monday -- Sticky Fun Edition

2008-05-12T10:34:00.004-04:00

Yeah, I said it. Sticky fun. Not to be confused with sticky buns. Though this week's casual fare comes to you in the form of the much maligned adjective 'sticky,' it's gameplay is addictive and fun -- Rez-like in it's visuals and unlike nearly all shooters we've played, Tumiki Fighters serves as a demo (at this point, though it wasn't always this way) for it's older Wii-born brother, Blast Works: Build, Trade, Destroy.

The novelty of the game is simple: you're a ship, you shoot other ships and as their vessels fall, you may catch them by sticking to them and thus, they become part of your now-uber ship -- cannons and all. And yes, the eventuality of this is a bullet hell game like you wouldn't believe with some really great new ideas regarding character health and weapons upgrades.

Unfortunately, though we strive for multi-platform capable games here, Tumiki Fighters is only available for those of you running Windows. If you really like what you get here though, BW:BTD seems to be not only a capable extension of the single-player game but also incorporates a (supposedly very complex and detailed) level editor. And now, if you'll excuse me, I need to go to sleep. No one wake me up with a cold, sticky hand to the face.

Week-End Podcast Roundup -- Everyone's On Time(!) Edition

2008-05-09T22:15:00.002-04:00

It's been more than a few weeks since we've been able to say that all the weekly podcasts came in before midnight on Friday night but hallelujah, this week we're in under the wire. Admittedly, it's hard to pay attention to writing this with Uwe Boll making an ass of himself (is that possible? isn't that like an oxymoron?) on G4's Attack of the Show...right this minute. You're already missing it! Here's some stuff to occupy yourself with for, ummmm, the rest of the weekend -- and yeah, it's sorta kinda confirmed.

GFW Radio (feat. Jeff Green, Shawn Elliott, Sean Malloy, and Ryan Scott)
The GiantBombcast (feat. Jeff Gerstmann and Ryan Davis)
Joystiq Podcast (feat. Chris Grant, Ludwig Kietzmann and Justic McElroy)
The CAGcast (feat Cheapy D and Wombat)
The 1UP Show and 1UP Yours Podcast (feat. Garnett Lee, Shane Bettenhausen John Davison and Shawn Elliott)

We've barely begun digging into this week's podcasts as Command & Conquer 3: Tiberium Wars may or may not have just arrived, pausing the full work week experience that is Grand Theft Auto 4. We'll have more to say on the former a little later in the week, though a full-blown review would be a little much at this juncture, no? In the meantime, we've got a party to attend in Philadelphia. Maybe we'll see you there!

Oh Sht, Oh Sht, Oh Sht, Oh Sht, Oh Sht, Oh Sht, Oh Sht, Oh Sht, Oh Sht, Oh Sht, Oh Sht, Oh Sht, Oh Sh*t.

2008-05-09T13:33:00.006-04:00

Ok so, oh sh*t, they're really making a Bioshock movie? Oh, sh*t. Directed by Gore Verbinski and written by John Logan? And it's going to be rated R? Oh, sh*t. This could be the best thing that's ever happened, or the worst aeroplane disaster of a century. Oh, Sh*t.

Via Joystiq
oh sh*t

The Bourne Conspiracy XBL Demo

2008-05-08T13:02:00.003-04:00

In the midst of all the frenetic GTA IV happenings we've managed to pull ourselves away for a few seconds to check out The Bourne Conspiracy demo on XBL. First impression? Lots of quick time events, for everything. Need to jump to another ledge? Quick time. Need to slide under a closing gate? Quick time. Need to spin your car around to avoid a large truck? Quick time. I don't want to say quick time events are lazy because they can be implemented well, but I'd rather play a game where the framework allows you to do these things yourself.

That being said, The Bourne Conspiracy does a pretty good job of at least making the quick time events feel natural within the game. After the first play through you get a pretty good sense of when you're going to have to use them. Better to use them constantly than randomly surprise you throughout a level. The combat system is pretty simple and allows for counter moves and some sweet finishes. Gun play feels believable at best and is actually fairly similar to GTA IV's auto-aim system. High Moon Studios also has something to prove here since traditionally movie to video game adaptations have been about as popular as a suicide bomber on a subway. So I'm surmising that this version we're seeing is pretty much what we're going to get on the release.

I can't say I didn't have fun playing the demo, though, which makes me optimistic for its launch. It's not going win any medals, especially for it's driving sections, but it should make for a good one night stand.

Awesome.

The Greatest Composer You've Never Heard Of

2008-05-07T13:08:00.002-04:00

Inon Zur is a man with an amazing name -- let's be upfront about that. But did you know that he's composed soundtracks for over 30 videogames, and good ones at that? With big names like Company of Heroes: Opposing Fronts (Relic Entertainment / THQ) and Crysis (Crytek/EA) under his belt, the composer's aforementioned amazing name carries with it a pedigree few others can match.

Well, good news for people who like good news: today, Bethesda Softworks announced their collaboration with Zur on their upcoming ~~lunchbox collectible~~ post-apocalyptic shooter, Fallout 3. Considering they've already worked together (admittedly on Pirates of the Caribbean: The Legend of Jack Sparrow) and the fact that Zur also worked on Fallout Tactics: Brotherhood of Steel (again, admittedly, a Fallout game few outside the fanboy circle will remember, though well reviewed), we can't imagine this being a poor match-up. In fact, based on the epic opening music for Crysis, we can't wait to hear the grandeur Inon Zur's composing talents will bring to the table.

Also, according to the Bethesda Softworks press release:

"Currently under development at Bethesda Game Studios – creators of award-winning The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion®, the 2006 Game of the Year – Fallout 3 is slated for release this Fall on Xbox 360®video game and entertainment system from Microsoft, PLAYSTATION®3 computer entertainment system, and Games for Windows."

Release window confirmed? Alright, we kind of already knew this vague information, but reading it once again, much closer to Fall 2008 than when we originally read it (in June of last year), helps to reassure the trepidatious gamer.

GTAIV Makes Boatloads of Cash

2008-05-07T09:14:00.006-04:00

In case you were doubting that Grand Theft Auto IV was going to make crazy shit tons of money, the New York Times is reporting that a whopping six million copies of the game have been sold, with over half of those being sold on the first day. That is, apparently, over 500 million dollars, which is more than the net worth of both Olsen twins combined. Egads!

How Can You Have Any Pudding If You Don't Eat Your Meat!?

2008-05-06T16:43:00.014-04:00

Hot off the presses people! Online interactive magazine? Who knew? Unfortunately not us. Created by the folks at gamerzines.com, it's a great interactive .pdf file of the upcoming 360 slasher/gorefest that is Ninja Gaiden II. Includes videos pictures and other interactive elements showcasing the game. Plus if you go to their website you can subscribe for free to a variety of their different console magazines (They also produce content for DS, PS3, Wii, PSP, etc).

So what's the catch? Well it's pretty much all sunshine and rainbows. I read through the Ninja Gaiden II issue, and although it was the only issue I've ever read, I didn't see a single criticism of the game. But what the hell it's an easy way to get first looks at screens and gameplay videos sent directly to your inbox. What are you waiting for? 'Cause when you're a gamer, you know what happens when you stand still... (Wait... I know this one... hold.. on...)

Rock Band DLC Coming to PS2/Wii

2008-05-06T12:24:00.004-04:00

The folks at Harmonix, MTV and EA collectively announced their plans to make a 20-track disc of (seemingly random) downloadable songs collected from the 360/PS3 versions of Rock Band for the PS2 and Wii today, aptly titled Rock Band Track Pack Volume 1. According to their press release, the disc, "features an electrifying mix of classic hits and current favorites, including songs by Boston, Nine Inch Nails, Stone Temple Pilots, and All American Rejects." Oooh, All American Rejects! Ok, maybe not. The price point is fair if not very reasonable at $29.99 for this smattering of rock and roll hits, though certain selections seem a bit...unclear. The finalized track list follows:

30 Seconds to Mars, "The Kill" <-----Yeah, what?
All American Rejects, "Move Along"
Blink – 182, "All the Small Things"
Boston, "More Than a Feeling"
David Bowie, "Moonage Daydream"
Faith No More, "We Care A Lot"
Grateful Dead, "Truckin’"
The Hives, "Die, All Right!"
KISS, "Calling Dr. Love"
Lynyrd Skynyrd, "Gimme’ Three Steps"
Nine Inch Nails, "March of the Pigs" <-----Woot!
Oasis, "Live Forever"
Paramore, "Crushcrushcrush"
The Police, "Synchronicity II"
Queens of the Stone Age, "Little Sister" <-----Woot!
The Ramones, "Teenage Lobotomy" <-----Woot!
Smashing Pumpkins, "Siva" <-----Woot!
Stone Temple Pilots, "Interstate Love Song"
Weezer, "Buddy Holly" <-----Woot!
Wolfmother, "Joker & the Thief"

So for those suffering from the Wii's lack of a hard drive for downloadable content and those holding fast hope for the big PS2 revival (any day now!), this disc of dlc will act as your vicarious use of the internet through modern videogame consoles. Oh, and it'll be released for PS2/Wii on Tuesday, July 15th. But wouldn't you really be better served saving that money towards a 360 or PS3? Just sayin' is all.

[Early Impressions] All Apologies

2008-05-05T12:32:00.005-04:00

Apologies to everyone from us here at QP. We haven't gotten a review up of GTA IV. We're still waiting on that for one very good reason: we can't put it down! It's like that episode of Doug where he wins a "Super-Pretendo" and and stays up all weekend playing "Space Munks" only to realize he hasn't even started his paper for class.

So to make up for the lack of review I'll tell you what has impressed me the most so far. GTA IV has done one thing I haven't seen in a video game so far, and that is using the physics engine to drive some of the cinematics. Key word here being 'some.' Specifically, on one of the first Playboy X missions, you have to snipe some guys watching guard off of construction equipment. Each time you shoot them the game goes to a cut scene, showing the enemy falling to the ground. The first time one guy simply smashed face first into the ground. On the second play the same enemy fell in a totally different way and a shot discharged from his weapon. The little things people! It's incredible how much Rockstar thought about when making this game.

Casual Monday -- You Have to Shave the Beard Edition

2008-05-05T10:25:00.004-04:00

Sometimes, you just have to make that giant recreation of your favorite 2D side-scroller's character costumes and then do battle. Let's be clear -- it's the right thing to do. (Is he fighting Gohan?) Either way, this week's casual release comes to us as a confusing menagerie of meta-game/actual-game/flash-game/beard-game, in the form of Castle Crashing The Beard -- a mini-game created for the Behemoth programmer (and newgrounds.com creator) Tom Fulp. Simply put, CCTB is centered around one man's quest to not shave until his work is done and one castle crasher's fight against that.

According to the horse's mouth directly, "Tom Fulp, creator of Newgrounds.com and programmer for “The Behemoth” has vowed not to shave his face until the release of his next console game, Castle Crashers for the X-Box 360 live-arcade. Newgrounds office workers have noticed Tom’s behavior and sanity steadily declining as his beard grows.
Will Tom win his battle to finish Castle Crashers, or will “The Beard” win in the end?"

So you've seen it here first! You can now say with confidence you've played a really good meta-game/actual-game/flash-game/beard-game. Hey, at very least it was entertaining, right? See y'all in the cut.

Week-End Podcast Roundup -- GTA4 (and Not Much More) Edition

2008-05-03T19:16:00.003-04:00

Yes, yes, we're playing it. We heart it too. A review is coming -- it's long! And you know this. That doesn't mean nothing else is goin' on! Noted by Joystiq's Justin McElroy in this week's Joystiq Podcast (the same podcast that held up production of this very podcast roundup, thank you very much), output in the games journalism field this entire week has taken a significant downturn, with every single podcast weighing in notoriously lighter than usual (including their own.)

GiantBomb pulls an all-nighter and Jeff Gerstmann is nearly zombified, 1UP Yours gets philosophical (shocking!), Cheapy and Wombat talk about poop (less shocking) and GFW Radio has disappeared (let's hope not permanently.) All this and more, [tips hat] as your weekend is (nearly?) confirmed.

The GiantBombcast (feat. Jeff Gerstmann and Ryan Davis)
Joystiq Podcast (feat. Chris Grant, Ludwig Kietzmann and Justic McElroy)
The CAGcast (feat Cheapy D and Wombat)
The 1UP Show and 1UP Yours Podcast (feat. Garnett Lee, Shane Bettenhausen, Nick Suttner and Shawn Elliott)

And finally, Quarterplay would like to give a shoutout to everyone at the Cottman Avenue GameStop in Northeast Philadelphia for handling such a massive turnout with relative ease and professionalism, as well as the free pizza (thanks Papa John's, you pseudo-pizzeria, you.) Though I, (me, personally, Benjamin Gilbert), do not necessarily agree with many practices of the GameStop corporation on the whole, individual branches are often full of nice individuals who play games actively and are (usually) friendly -- this specific location especially. Don't hate the player, hate the game, right? Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to return to Liberty City...

IGN Hate Boat Going Full Sail

2008-05-01T14:52:00.006-04:00

To keep with my personal vested interested in yesterday's news regarding Surfer Girl Reviews Star Wars and IGN, I'm once again using Quarterplay to show our readers exactly what I'm talking about when I make a statement as straight up as, "No more IGN."

The video, linked above, was pulled from IGN.com (presumably) following the pounding of many angry fists. Leigh Alexander puts it concisely in her opening paragraphs:

"Regardless of what I think of their work, I try not to criticize other outlets, insult other journalists or anything tacky like that. After all, we're all on the same side here, everyone's fallible and I certainly don't claim to be Captain Queen Awesome or anything, to say the least.

But when IGN does something like this, I can't help it. What the fuck were you guys thinking? Do you really think so little of your audience? Worse, do you really think so little of the industry?"

I agree wholeheartedly. It's really hard to break form and openly "talk shit" or disparage other outlets, especially considering the original video was pulled and I'm not even sure who personally I'm disparaging, but when it's necessary, it's necessary. What do you readers think? I know it isn't everyone who looks at videogames as art (and in most cases, I myself do not) but I would like to think videogame enthusiast outlets (ourselves included) could do readers in general a favor and not assume they're the morons screaming racial slurs on Xbox Live or frothing at the mouth masses, anxiously awaiting more T&A (though I'm not above admitting more T&A isn't always out of place -- natch.) More on this as it, undoubtedly, unfolds.

New Street Fighter 4 Screens Released, Maniacal Laughing Confirmed

2008-05-01T12:44:00.011-04:00

Cruising through these giant, interconnected tubes this morning, we found ourselves face to face with the big boss himself -- M. Bison. Unsurprisingly, he was standing in a corner, arms folded across his chest, laughing in our collective face. That was before he started conjuring energy attacks with his bare hands. Terrifying, we know. Lucky for you, we captured some shots of the boss man, as well as some of his buddies, who will round out the SF4 cast upon the game's "To Be Announced" release date. First up, the man with the big red cap:

Look at those dead, lifeless eyes! He's like a big teddybear! And the way that matter bends around his presence, enough to give a girl the vapors!

Next up is everyones favorite backscratch post, Vega. We know you've got a mask on sir, but could you please give us something? Maybe a bit of blood or dirt to show you've been fighting? How about a big band-aid under your eye like Nelly? We kid!

And finally we present you with a leaping shot of Sagat (aka, the man with the cheap fireballs) who is, fittingly, hanging out on a pirate ship. ::insert obvious eyepatch joke here:: We'll keep the shots coming if we run into any more of these guys. Oh, and Capcom, how about some real information next time?

Journalistic Integrity? What's That?

2008-04-30T13:04:00.006-04:00

We're not exactly known for our hard hitting investigative reporting and industry-wide criticisms here at Quarterplay (though it is known to happen), but as a major of journalism and a believer in journalistic integrity, it would be flat out impossible for me, personally, to not post something regarding the recent "McIGN" statements made by everyone's favorite videogame rumor blog, Surfer Girls Reviews Star Wars.

He/she tears apart recent posts by IGN Nintendo Associate Editor Daemon Hatfield as well as IGN Nintendo editor in chief Matt Casamassina, citing misinformation and editorial mixing with advertising. I'm not one to take many stances, especially regarding my career and it's future, but as I've been saying in person to friends for the past few years, IGN is a terrible website. The fact that it's Fox-owned doesn't help, but it's terrible writing combined with it's "fuck everyone else" attitude, as a human being, pushes me elsewhere. Remember IGN's Hilary Goldstein taking potshots at CheapyD (of CheapAssGamer fame) on his podcast? I sure do, and I'm willing to bet CheapyD does as well.

The gaming community has little space for tough guy jerks and elitist mentality. Personally, I listen to about eight or nine gaming podcasts a week and not a single one is from IGN. I tried -- they're not funny and they're smattered with arrogance. So let me be the first, speaking for myself and not for Quarterplay on the whole, to say this: No more IGN. In the immortal words of Hans Moleman, "Let's not listen."

PS: The picture at the top is for real, and thus, "McIGN." GameSpot is notorious for skinning their site in ads as well (remember the Kane & Lynch fiasco?), so we're not sayin' anything about this. Hell, if you want to skin Quarterplay in Target ads and pay off my college loan, go for it. It does look ridiculous though, let's be honest.

Assault Heroes 2 Gets Dated, Detailed

2008-04-30T12:35:00.004-04:00

Hot off the steamy, giant, interconnected tubes comes news today that a sequel to everyone's favorite Smash TV ripoff is coming to Xbox Live Arcade on May 14th. You guessed it (clearly with help from the picture to your left) -- Assault Heroes 2 has been slated for the aforementioned mid-May release, bringing with it, "hi-jackable enemy vehicles, more levels and enhanced on-foot and co-operative gameplay modes."

We suppose that the whole vehicles thing helps separate this from it's many top-down shooter brethren, though it's thinly veiled yet takes-itself-too-seriously story didn't help differentiate it the first time around. IGN had a lovefest with the first one, though they did agree that it's story was as silly as the fact that they tried implementing a story into an XBLA game. If you, like us, spent nine straight hours playing Ikari Warriors when you were a child just to see it's stupid, stupid ending, then you may have burnt out on these (completely infuriating) kind of games a little while ago. For the rest of you, Assault Heroes 2 comes out in two weeks. At the very worst it's a possible 200 Nerd Points, but who're we kidding, you'll be playing GTA4 with us online, right?

Microsoft (Barely) Details GTA4 Exclusive DLC Release Date

2008-04-29T05:10:00.003-04:00

Continuing the deluge of Grand Theft Auto 4 information, a press release from Microsoft today notes, "Starting this autumn, Xbox 360 owners will also have access to exclusive Grand Theft Auto IV episodes that will provide hours of additional game play." This autumn being officially September 21st through December 20th, we're going all the way crazy and saying this date's just a bit hazy in it's specifics. Considering I'm roughly five percent through the main story and have owned it for five hours or so, they can take all the time they need -- for now. Us here at QP will of course keep you updated as more details unfold.

Launch of the Year? GTA4 Midnight Release, Philly Style

2008-04-29T02:12:00.006-04:00

As people waking up for class/work in the next five or six hours, it'd be hard to say we're glad that Grand Theft Auto 4 inspired GameStop (among other retailers) to hold midnight release events wherein you arrive late at night, buy your copy of the game ('Would you like a strategy guide with that? 20% off if you buy it with the game!') and then proceed to go home and play it well past any reasonable hour (it's currently 3:30 in the morning.) That last part, we suppose, is optional, though hardly controllable. We arrived at the local area GameStop around 11:40, debit card in hand, and $64.19 later, we were lining up to wait out the rest of the hour with everyone else. The line, as you can sort of see, was extensive, though not disabling so. As detailed in our previous midnight release coverage, this particular GameStop location handles events such as these with relative ease -- politely ushering everyone in and out, keeping people informed and generally making the situation a pleasant one.

In the intermediary, we took time to speak with the lucky group of fellas heading up the (by midnight) 200+ person raving beast we dare call a "line." Anthony, Joe and Rob like Grand Theft Auto quite a bit -- not necessarily first-in-line-at-a-Star-Wars-opening level excitement, but excited enough that they arrived three hours ahead of time. (We should mention, though located within Philadelphia city limits, this particular GameStop location isn't exactly in an exciting neighborhood, so three hours here means something.) Anthony was the glorified gamer among the group, having played and completed nearly all GTA's, excluding only Vice City Stories for the PSP and having started with number two on the Playstation 1. GTA3 was the majority favorite among these guys, who were all prepared to go home and start immediately.

Upon exiting the glowing light of GameStop's front windows and seeing the line for what it had truly become, we snapped another shot to our best ability (which is to say very little), and QP blogger extraordinaire Shawn Annable noted, "There have to be at least 200 people here. This is nuts." Within minutes the clock had struck midnight and the line began moving -- fast.

As you can clearly see, we certainly didn't leave empty handed. A quick trip to the nearby Wendy's to insure gastrointestinal problems later in the night sealed our adventure with a greasy and over-processed kiss. In case you were wondering, the mysterious markings on my receipt are just a few of the Ancient Druid rune writings, passed down centuries upon centuries through dynasty to dynasty of GameStop Regional Managers. It's beauty knows no bounds.

It's currently 4:30 in the a.m. when I type these last words, half wired on coffee/half asleep from exhaustion. We're glad GTA4 came out on a Monday, seriously.

Uwe Bolls Wants to Beat Your $#%, Michael Bay

2008-04-29T01:20:00.003-04:00

It would be straight up unfair to not mention this to you fine folks. Known for directing such classy films as Alone in the Dark and House of the Dead, Uwe Boll has made a name for himself by inspiring hate as a byproduct of his work (especially from gamers.) His latest film, Postal, based on the terrible game of the same name has him back in the news, this time challenging Michael Bay (yes, that Michael Bay) to a boxing match after Bay had the gall to say he didn't care about Mr. Salad, er, Mr. Boll. This kind of thing wouldn't even normally be tied to his terrible productions, but this time his public statement of idiocy is meant to inspire folks who were out there fence sitting about seeing it. So in other words, this is targeted at nobody. It is, however, hilarious. Good luck removing Uwe-isms from your daily conversations!

Casual Monday -- Back On the Horse Edition

2008-04-28T11:09:00.004-04:00

Another week, another ~~bloody fight to the death~~, er, free casual game, just for you! This week we bring you a throwback to the future with Noitu Love & the Army of Grinning Darns, a title straight outta konjak.org that's spilling over the top with 16/32-bit era goodness. It's kind of like MegaMan, it's kind of like Castlevania and it's 100% free to download (unlike it's sequely brother, most recently featured on the 1UP Show.)

The game is an interesting twist on a classic platformer setup in that it changes how you interact with the enemies -- more specifically, this game is a combination of Final Fight/Double Dragon and MegaMan. You are guiding your character with the typical 'wasd' setup and attacking enemies with the click of your mouse. (Nearly) more important than any of this: Noitu Love was made by a single man. Dude did the music, art, programming, testing...everything. You may want to check out the game based on this impressive caveat alone. And with that, we'll leave you to your murdering, you murderer.

Hardcore Gamers, Going Soft

2008-04-26T15:11:00.005-04:00

Apparently, I'm going through a mid-life gaming crisis. According to Techradar, as a gamer, I am, as they so gently put it, "no longer a hardcore gamer." Sad!

Here are the things on their list that apply to me.

"You prefer playing against the computer."
I don't think that makes me an old fogey, I think that just means that I don't like playing with homophobic fanboys who shriek into the microphone.

"You believe that winning isn't everything."
Winning is fun, sure, but I don't usually get my panties in a wad if I don't win. Unless it's GoldenEye.

"It's been days, not hours since you last switched on your console."
Um, make that "weeks." I've been busy!

"You avoid playing on the Wii because it’s too much effort."
I'm somewhat ashamed to admit that, actually. I even get annoyed that I have to use the Wiimote in order to get into a game I have on the Virtual Console (Donkey Kong Country, anyone?)

"Your FPS experience consists of spawn, run, die... spawn, run, die... spawn..."
That's just because I suck at FPSs. Except GoldenEye (which I'm still good at, thankyouverymuch).

"You find the idea of videogames based on board games perfectly acceptable."
Many a fifth grade recess was spent inside with a group of friends huddled around the computer playing Monopoly. The fact that a new Monopoly game is coming out later this year has not escaped my notice. (Merely three years older than Katie, I've only played Monopoly on an actual, physical board. Weird. - Ed.)

"You've pre-ordered GTA IV but don't mind if it doesn't turn up on launch day."
Actually, I haven't pre-ordered GTA4. I probably won't get it until sometime in May, and I'm perfectly OK with that.

So there you go. Personally, I call bullshit. If all my years of gaming have turned me into a snob who doesn't like to play with other people and is perfectly content to not play games for a while, does that make me any less "hardcore"? Actually...don't answer that.

Grand Theft Auto IV: A Brutal New World

2008-04-25T18:59:00.004-04:00

One of Colorado's major newspapers, the Rocky Mountain News, published a piece in today's Spotlight on Grand Theft Auto IV, written by Kotaku's big daddy Brian Crecente. While the story is understandably a bit watered down for mainstream readers, it's a nice overview of the game as a whole. Plus, it's in a Colorado newspaper, which automatically makes it awesome.

Now, excuse me while I go slit my wrists in the bathroom because I won't be able to get GTA4 along with everyone else this Tuesday. Stupid college. Though we will be posting our review of the upcoming blockbuster (we hope) by week's end.

Week-End Podcast Roundup -- Harder Than Ikari Warriors Edition

2008-04-25T15:52:00.003-04:00

As the BigBoss around QP, it is my privilege to choose what we do and do not present on this fine website. By that same extension, it is also my responsibility to deliver interesting content for you fine folks, soaring through these large, interconnected tubes, on a daily basis -- and on that level, I have failed you this week.

Lucky for you, we have additional writers, filling in while I slack, and producing not only an excellent review of Metroid Prime 3: Corruption but also bringing you an additional (free) casual game (though it's the hardest game we've ever played -- yes, harder than Ikari Warriors.) Either way, we've brought you the weekly podcasts with some addendums to the norm, fitting accordingly -- 'weekend confirmed?' Yeah, totally confirmed.

GFW Radio (feat. Jeff Green, Shawn Elliott, Sean Malloy, and Ryan Scott)
The GiantBombcast (feat. Jeff Gerstmann and Ryan Davis)
Joystiq Podcast (feat. Chris Grant, Ludwig Kietzmann and Justic McElroy)
The CAGcast (feat Cheapy D and Wombat)
The 1UP Show and 1UP Yours Podcast (feat. Garnett Lee, Shane Bettenhausen, ???, and Shawn Elliott)

As always, try not and go directly to your metaphorical creamy center of podcast listening goodness (it's hard not to put on GFW Radio immediately when it downloads, even though I'm already listening to Game Theory.) Seeya over the weekend, posts and all.

God&%$@ Mother@&#$ Ape@&&#$@ @&#*Locker: The Metroid Prime 3: Corruption Review

2008-04-23T11:40:00.016-04:00

Developer: Retro Studios
Publisher: Nintendo

Ok, so if Samus had conceived a child she'd be due in the next few weeks. We're a little late with the review. Also don't let the title of the review fool you, Metroid Prime 3: Corruption is a very good game.

Corruption takes place after the events of Metroid Prime: Echoes. Having destroyed Dark Samus and sealing the 'Dark Aether.' Samus enjoys an unspecified amount of vacation time until those pesky space pirates stumble ass backwards, yet again, into a plan to control the universe by infecting all living things with Phazon. Their plan this time? Crash giant Phazon corrupted 'seeds' into planets and let the virus do it's thang.

Corruption re-introduces the space travel and ship concepts from it's DS sibling Metroid Prime: Hunters. Instead of being dropped off on a planet and left to fend for yourself you now have the ability to fly between different landing sites on a planet, and between several planets themselves encompassed within two galaxies. The ship also plays an integral role in helping you advance the story. You can upgrade your ship with different attachments, and increase it's missile carrying capacity. Oh, did I mention you can call in air strikes (however scripted they may be) with your ship now?

One of the big things Retro Studios did right this time around was strip down the gameplay. Don't get me wrong Metroid Prime was an awesome game with equal if not better gameplay than Super Metroid, but looking back there were maybe too many suit upgrades. In the first Prime you had four different guns, and four different visors. Depending on what kind of variety of enemies you were facing you would have to switch your gun and visors several times in a single room. Corruption takes most of the guesswork out of which gun is the most effective in a certain situation by simply replacing your old buster with a more powerful one whenever you upgrade your gun. You're also limited to three visors, the old standbys Scan and X-Ray, and the new Ship visor which you use to call air strikes, pick up large items, or simply call your ship to a landing zone. To compliment these upgrades Retro Studios added a little caveat called 'hyper mode' which allows you inject Phazon into yourself and dramatically increase the damage of all your attacks.

This installment of the Metroid Prime series is much more of a puzzler than previous ones. On several occasions you'll find yourself locked in a room until you figure out how to accomplish a series of tasks that allows you access to another room or a suit upgrade. Yes, I realize you do this in the previous games as well, but the puzzle element has definitely been amped up in this game. Parts of levels will be destroyed tasking you with having to find alternate routes around the different planets. All around you'll find yourself doing much more thinking than shooting in this game.

Now my justification for the title of this review. Enemies are frustratingly resilient in this game. Much like Samus herself they can enter 'hyper mode' and unleash some powerful attacks. The big problem is that there are no middle weight enemies. You either take them out with one or two shots, or fight them for a good minute.

Don't even get me started on bosses. Each boss fight, honestly, seriously, no joke, will take at least 15 minutes. From the very first boss up until Dark Samus. After fighting one of the bosses for a solid 10 minutes I got his health down to just a nugget of power, just one hit, and he entered a phase where I couldn't attack him. I screamed in rage, "For Fucks Sake!" because I had to fight him for another five minutes before he became vulnerable again. That was somewhere near the halfway point, and yes they do get successively harder. Let's face it, the Wiimote is not the most comfortable controller to use, and after about 10 minutes of intense fighting you start to feel some pain in that space between your thumb and pointer finger. Yeah -- you know what I'm talking about.

Metroid Prime 3: Corruption is one of the most beautiful and detailed games I've seen on the Wii. While it loses some of it's original novelty in that you're not isolated on a planet left to on the figure out an eerie mystery, and you have to deal with other people, it still holds up to Super Metroid and Metroid Prime. (Why didn't I include Echoes in that previous statement? Because Echoes was a linear, restrictive piece of [End])

Prepare your hands now, cause they're gonna get fucked.

Miyamoto Gets Totilo'd

2008-04-22T17:11:00.005-04:00

In a recent interview for MTV News, Stephen Totilo (of Multiplayer fame) got to sit down with Wii Fit creator Shigeru Miyamoto (who you may have heard of.) Conversation ran the gamut, with talk not just of Wii Fit's place in the modern gaming industry but also Mr. Miyamoto's response to the hardcore gamer backlash surrounding it's release as well as why Nintendo characters don't appear in the 'game.' Here's a little jewel plucked straight from the middle:

MTV News: Would it have been going too far to put Mario in it and make it “Mario Fit“? Would that have ruined the feel you were trying to evoke with the game?

Miyamoto: We wanted to create it so that people of all ages could look at it and feel it was for them. I think doing that might have limited its ability. But from my perspective I would say that the latest character from Nintendo would probably be the Miis.

We need not remind Mr. Miyamoto that a character is inherently something defined and not perspectively definable. Let's go all the way crazy and grab that number one definition on dictionary.com:

Char·ac·ter: the aggregate of features and traits that form the individual nature of some person or thing.

Not until you get to definition number 14 (on dictionary.com) do you even get close to Mr. Miyamoto's aforementioned definition of 'character.' A character is defined, has weight, carries baggage -- and isn't just a blank slate for which you to create yourself. If you suppose each Mii created is it's own character then you do have something, however only on the base level of visual identification. While speech isn't exactly a classic Nintendo character staple, the stories created around these characters have weight that cannot be forgotten when excusing a lack of new characters on your company's part. Either way, the interview is, as they often are with Shigeru Miyamoto, jam packed with thoughtful information and careful explanation. Enjoy.

Uwe Boll is Never Making a WoW Movie...Ever

2008-04-21T11:30:00.004-04:00

And seriously, thanks to the benevolent being that granted us with this truth. According to the MTV Movies Blog, "The Bowl" (or "The Bowel", depending on what day you ask us) approached Blizzard's Paul Sams about a movie adaptation of their cash producing virtual ziggurat and Sams had this to say in response, "We will not sell the movie rights, not to you…especially not to you." Boll continued digging his own personal ditch by adding, "Because it’s such a big online game success, maybe a bad movie would destroy that ongoing income, what the company has with it."

Even Uwe Boll himself knows the movies he directs are bad, apparently the hypothetical ones as well. In case you were looking to read more hilarious quotes from the man who needs a good PR assistant more than anyone, the rest of the piece can be found here.

Casual Monday Addendum -- This Game is Hard as Shit Edition

2008-04-21T10:53:00.005-04:00

This fine Monday we present you with, no joke, The World's Hardest Game. Of course, hard is really a subjective term. Tabuu was hard to beat in Super Smash Bros. Brawl, but let's be honest -- he's a cheap son of a bitch. I guess what I'm getting at is this game ain't much better. Created by Armor Games, developer of previous Casual Monday showcased game The Last Stand, you may find yourself mad immediately -- the first level is ridiculous. And that's just the first f'ing level. Good luck, sucker!

[UPDATE] Seriously, this game is ridiculously hard. When it says, "DON'T EVEN BOTHER TRYING.", it's not joking.

Casual Monday -- Too Many Games Edition

2008-04-21T10:49:00.007-04:00

Here at QP, we normally spend all weekend meticulously combing the large, interconnected tubes (sometimes called 'The Internet'), looking in every dark and dusty corner to find your Monday morning casual gaming goodness. Well, it was a busy weekend and as such, you get hit with the old standby -- EveryVideoGame.com being that very standby. Not to say it's not worth your time! Clearly it is, boasting legitimately hundreds (if not thousands) of titles from NES in America, Japan and Europe.

They're all remade in flash, just for you. You can even use a compatible controller so as to quell the rage that comes with playing NES games on a keyboard. Now go get to playing! Go ahead and try out that amazing Virtual Console game that was released today before you spend those virtual bucks! Say something else that requires exclamation points!

Virtual Console Gets Beat the Hell Up

2008-04-21T10:15:00.005-04:00

This Friday, River City Ransom turns 19. Coincidentally or not, Nintendo has chosen today as it's Virtual Console release day and thrilled we certainly are. You've probably played NES brawler Double Dragon (and it's iterations), but have you ever experienced the rush of blocky, pixelated RPG-inspired ass-kicking that comes with running the rough streets of River City? Are you ready to hit up that kind of rush?

Ok, but seriously, this is an amazing game. We don't normally even announce Virtual Console games here on QP but this is a special exception -- this game dominated my childhood (at least until 1992, when SNES arrived in my house.) It plays just like Double Dragon except there are a ton of (years ahead of their time) RPG elements, adding depth and replayability (as well as a hell of a lot of engaging content.) The story is cheeky, the characters all have ridiculous names -- it's damn near perfect. If you're going to spend five of your hard earned virtual bucks on anything, this is our number one suggestion.

Why are you still here reading? Go help save Cyndi and River City High from the clutches of the evil "Slick"! Seeya 'round the caf.

(via Joystiq)

Week-End Podcast Roundup -- The Wait Until GTAIV Edition

2008-04-18T20:03:00.004-04:00

Today is April the 18th and hot damn if we're not getting psyched for the impending release of Grand Theft Auto IV. The unfortunate downside: the huge padding surrounding it's April 29th release date, filled with nothing but air. Lucky for us, the space is allowing catchup time on all those games we never got around to (expect a Mass Effect postmortem in the next few days, among other things.) In the meantime, well, here you've got a bevy of entertainment choices. In the sake of full disclosure, we're partial to Jeff Green's antics, but we can't help but suggest GFW Radio time and time again. Not only are the cast well educated and well spoken but they discuss a wide variety of interesting topics (from comic books to Lost.) Either way, your weekend is officially on.

GFW Radio (feat. Jeff Green, Shawn Elliott, Sean Malloy, and Ryan Scott)
The GiantBombcast (feat. Jeff Gerstmann and Ryan Davis)
Joystiq Podcast (feat. Chris Grant, Ludwig Kietzmann and Justic McElroy)
The CAGcast (feat Cheapy D and Wombat)
The 1UP Show and 1UP Yours Podcast (feat. Garnett Lee, Shane Bettenhausen, ???, and Shawn Elliott)

Hopefully Quartermann isn't dropping any bombshells in this week's 1UP Yours podcast, as last week's surprise was a bit too much for our fragile hearts. As per usual, you'll be kept solidly updated throughout the weekend, as our schedule permits. It's the f'ing weekend! We have to play videogames sometimes!

Sexiest Videogame Characters

2008-04-17T14:50:00.009-04:00

MSNBC has a piece up about the "top five sexiest videogame characters," which got me thinking what my own list of sexiness would look like. I disagree with...well, pretty much all of their list, except maybe Lara Croft and Dante. Gordon Freeman looks like Ned Flanders and Agent 47 is just....not my cup of tea. So! I give you, in no particular order, the ladies and gentlemen that made me swoon just a little bit when they popped up on my TV.

Balthier (Final Fantasy XII) - Ah, yes, Balthier. Finally a sexy, sassy, fashionable male character in an FF game that doesn't irritate the hell out of me. Plus he has that whole thing with a woman with rabbit ears, and that's gotta be worth something.

Eva (Metal Gear Solid 3) - Eva was an interesting character, one who I never quite figured out. She was a smart cookie too, and I'm looking forward to seeing her in MGS4, even if she's getting a bit old.

Zack (Crisis Core: Final Fantasy VII) - Zack's up there with Balthier in the club of sexy FF men. Definitely better than his pseudo protégé Cloud, anyway. Plus, he's the only man other than Snake who can pull off a mullet.

Kid (Chrono Cross) - This makes me feel dirty, since she's supposed to be 16 in the game. In my defense, I was 13 in 2000 when CC came out and I first played it. Anyway, eating disorder aside, isn't Kid just the cutest little thing?! She's crass and offensive, and I fucking love a woman who swears.

Fei Fong Wong (Xenogears) - I never actually beat Xenogears, so I don't know much about his actual character, but he certainly looks sexy, what with his chiseled abs and stunning features. Plus he was a pretty mean martial artist, which is definitely sexy.

Quistis Trepe (Final Fantasy VIII) - Yeah, another RPG character. Sue me. Quistis gets hotness points for three reasons: She carries a whip, she wears glasses, and she told off Rinoa for being the whiny whore that she was. Be still my heart!

Game Crazy Buyer Says Crazy Things

2008-04-17T12:35:00.009-04:00

You probably know GameStop, Earth's number one videogame retailer (in terms of dollars, not quality), but have you heard of their only direct market competitor (in the U.S.), Game Crazy? To put some perspective on their market holdings, in QP's hometown of Philadelphia there are three Game Crazy locations -- as compared to 10 GameStop locations littered throughout the City of Brotherly Love.

Know 'em or not, their word means something when publicly expressed, especially when it's regarding a controversial subject like the upcoming release of Grand Theft Auto IV. Daily Game recently spoke with Game Crazy's buyer Dave Hulegaard about how he thinks the release of GTAIV on both Xbox 360 and PS3 simultaneously will affect the console war. Daily Game even goes so far as to preface the piece with, "[And] he uses some concrete pre-order and sales numbers to illustrate his point." Not so much -- this is what they're calling "concrete pre-order and sales numbers":

"In the past when there has been a multi-platform release, the Xbox 360 version generally had higher sales. However, [based on pre-order information at Game Crazy and general console trends] we've been seeing a much closer split between the PlayStation 3 and Xbox 360. For example, Devil May Cry 4 sales had one of the closest splits between the two consoles than any other major title to date."

We humbly offer to him that, as the established base of Playstation 3 consoles grows, the pre-order statistics (specifically pre-order statistics and especially of titles like DMC4) for Xbox 360 and PS3 games will reach an almost perfect 50/50 equilibrium. There may never be an equal number of PS3/Xbox 360 consoles in houesholds but pre-order statistics don't necessarily reflect established user base numbers, nonetheless on a one-to-one basis. Pre-order statistics are a poor reflection of mainstream saturation, unless we're talking blockbuster, Halo/Mario/GTA territory and we're measuring more than the number two videogame retailer in the United States.

While his piece makes some valid points that are worth reading, we're now more likely to turn to Michael Pachter for our fiduciary advice. So what about you, dearest QP reader? How do you think GTAIV will affect console sales?

An Open Letter To You

2008-04-16T13:33:00.009-04:00

A few weeks ago I was ribbed (by an unnamed person, unrelated to my group of friends) for my affection of video games. Said person returned from a wholly purposeful activity and exclaimed to me, "Oh my God! You're still playing videogames?!" Of course the statement wasn't meant in the light of my entire life, but rather the span of an hour or two.

I was silent -- it's not easy to put fools in their place and battle phazon enhanced space pirates at the same time. However, it got me thinking, and not for the first time, about one specific stigma of videogames and how they are perceived by the public: videogames are for children. But really, what are 'videogames'? In their most stripped down state, videogames are media, akin to movies, books, television, and newspaper. Merriam-Webster says videogames are, "an electronic game played by means of images on a video screen and often emphasizing fast action.", and that's a definition from 1973.

In the giant lake of fire that is American Media there are several distinctions, or categories. Adult movies (let's go ahead and include porn in there since that's probably what everyone assumes I mean), chick flicks, romance novels, and *gasp* children's books? Take away the modifiers and you simply have media.

The thing that really gets to me is that all media is, regardless of how young the target audience, created by adults. These childish ideas are formed in the minds of full grown adults. Nobody derided Dr. Suess because he wrote for children. Toy Story, and Shrek were critically acclaimed and enjoyed by people of all ages. Does that somehow make fans 'childish'?

The fact of the matter is that some videogames are intended for children, some for adults, and some for everyone. Much like the rest of the media, there are games that cross multiple demographics. My owning an Xbox doesn't make me any less mature than you owning a DVD player does, it's merely a conduit for an experience. If we really want to get on people's cases and make them feel inferior (which believe me, I'm all about), let's open up those consoles and DVD players. Let's browse your collection of books. Let's see how mature you are by what kind of media you ingest.

Really what I think it boils down to, on a personal level, is people are forced to grow up and be serious and give up certain things they did as kids. Somehow the videogame got mixed in with Tickle Me Elmo. People who think videogames are for kids have either A) Never played Silent Hill (PSX) or B) Are jealous that you had the balls to keep doing something they gave up for percieved 'maturity'. Keep on fighting the good fight, interwebs. And next time someone's been reading for an hour or more in the same place, loudly exclaim, "Oh my God! You're still reading that book?!"

Soul Calibur IV Gets Release Date, 'Limited Edition' (Surprise!)

2008-04-16T12:51:00.003-04:00

We're not gonna jerk you around folks, we love us some Soul Calibur. Whether it be in the form of numero uno for Dreamcast, the near perfect PS2/Xbox/GameCube iteration or the nearly broken third entry, we've been competing in the tale of swords and souls for nearly a decade. And today, Namco-Bandai has set June 29th as the release date for SCIV as well as explaining how exactly they're going to gouge our bank accounts for all they're worth.

First and foremost, though you already knew this, Darth Vader and Yoda will be joining the cast of fighters, each remaining exclusive to PS3 and Xbox 360 respectively. There will almost assuredly be an option to download the other character through digital means (read as: Xbox Live and Playstation Network), netting Namco extra, easy, money. Second, Namco today also announced the 'Limited Edition," complete with, "an art book/comic that serves as a prequel leading into the story of Soulcalibur IV, a tournament kit, and exclusive access to 'extra customization content.'" How much more does it retail for? No big whoop, just $79.99 of your hard earned dollars net you all those wonderful things.

Hey, remember when developers/publishers would reward you with free stuff, just for being a big fan? Yeah, us neither.

Home Design Game? Sign Me Up!

2008-04-16T12:23:00.005-04:00

Finally, something to do when America's Next Top Model is over! Casual game developer Big Blue Bubble recently announced plans to bring their PC title Home Sweet Home to the burgeoning Nintendo WiiWare service. Known for such iconic titles as Mage Knight: Destiny's Soldier and Atomic Betty, it'd suffice to say we're not expecting Home Sweet Home to escape the baby-game market.

In fairness, as there was clearly a market for The Sims, Big Blue Bubble most likely believes they can win over the hearts (and wallets) of 10-15 year old girls everywhere (oh, and men with home design aspirations, natch.) The thrilling excerpt from their press release below should help to alleviate any fears that this game isn't straight up work:

"Home Sweet Home is a home design game where you will listen and learn about your clients' tastes, create fabulous designs for them, and then direct your build team to assemble it all in front of your eyes."

Oooh! I can hardly contain myself when I hear things like, "learn about your clients' tastes." All we know so far is that this game is coming out on WiiWare sometime in the future (though it's already been released for PC), as Big blue Bubble had a big fat, "No comment." for us when pressed for a release date. Consider our breath officially held.

No Sexy Gun Fun in Aus/NZ GTA4

2008-04-16T10:36:00.003-04:00

Gamers in Australia and New Zealand who buy up Grand Theft Auto IV will miss out on a thrilling scene involving a gun in an unpleasant place. Kotaku's resident Aussie, Luke Plunkett, gave Take-Two a jingle to find out what exactly had been cut, and was told "the scene involves a weapon being inserted into an enemies private area during a mission where Niko is taking revenge after one of his close friends was forced into sexual intercourse during his stay in prison."

Well that sounds fun. Times like this, I'm glad to be an American.

Majesco Letter of Sarcasm Made Public

2008-04-15T18:08:00.007-04:00

Ex-Gamespotter Alex Navarro, known lately for rogue appearances on the GiantBomb Podcast (Bombcast), today shared with Passive Aggressive Notes an e-mail he received way back in December of 2007 from Majesco regarding his 6.0 review of Cooking Mama 2 on the Nintendo DS and yes, it is just as hilarious as you might imagine. Full of passive-aggressiveness, Majesco's letter allows us all an honest look behind the curtain we otherwise would have missed.

Unfortunately, the letter regrets to mention the job of a reviewer, regardless of the people involved in what they are reviewing. Mr. Navarro's review in no way calls Cooking Mama 2's development team lazy or claims they're bad people, it simply reviews the game they produced. We need not remind the gaming public as a whole the role of a review (of any art/entertainment form) is to inform and criticize. Bits like this show us how dangerous the industry could be if developers/publishers were allowed even more control over public perception of their product; for now, we all have a funny letter to laugh at.

Iron Man: The Game -- Early Impressions

2008-04-15T15:01:00.005-04:00

We all know that movies tend to spawn the worst videogames ever made, but we've been curious to see just how the Iron Man videogame was going to be handled ever since seeing the astronomical special effects in the trailer.

We don’t need to tell you just how breathtaking that picture to the right is -- it speaks for itself, what with all it's HDR lighting and Mark III suitiness. We’ve been following the development of Iron Man since its announcement and suffice to say, we’re sitting on the edge of our seats, bated breath held.

There’s a great trailer on the official website chronicling the game’s development. That’s interesting enough, but what you really need to look for are the shots of the gameplay. The graphics you see in that picture we included are the actual in-game graphics (hopefully with minimal PR-special effects added.)

Gameplay is very fast paced, featuring various ground combat and aerial combat levels. Iron Man shoots, flies, and kicks some serious ass.

The game will feature the voice of Robert Downey Jr. in the titular role, so all is well as far as the talent goes. The game is being developed by Secret Level, a satellite of its publisher, SEGA.

The game releases on May 2, 2008; surprisingly, this is the same day as the theater release. We have a suggestion: see the movie, then buy the game on your way home. This way you can enjoy the summer’s blockbuster and what is shaping up to be one of the best movie games ever made (aside from Goldeneye.)

SAT Company Developing Test Prep 'Game'

2008-04-14T12:12:00.004-04:00

Couldn't they have done this six years ago and saved me the $800 spent on taking an actual Kaplan SAT prep class? Newsweek's own N'Gai Croal, on his Level Up blog, this morning posted the scoop! wherein Kaplan, "will announce that it is partnering with Aspyr Media to develop an as-yet-untitled SAT test prep game for the Nintendo DS." They've even been so nice as to provide Mr. Croal with a mock-up of the game's character and main screen -- the excitement! -- as you see on the left. According to the aforementioned scoop, "'This is not a study break,' Staloch told us last week during a phone interview. 'This is a way to prepare for the test.'"

The game's main character will apparently, "evolve as you play, doing different animations, opening up different customizations, etc." Though still a long way off, the idea of using a DS to solve logic problems sounds eerily enchanting. With some Professor Layton style storytelling, games like this could be a giant step towards new forms of ~~education~~ ~~entertainment~~ edutainment. At very least, this is a great way for more kids to access this kind of help without paying out the nose -- seriously, we just got off the phone with the folks at Kaplan and it's $1099 for the cheapest SAT Prep package. What the hell?! Luckily, kids today will only have to blame their own inadequacies at playing games if their score is too low. In your face, current generation!

Casual Monday -- Spring is in the Air Edition

2008-04-14T10:14:00.004-04:00

Oh Springtime! The scent of freshly cut grass coming through the open window where I'm comfortably sitting on a futon, thoroughly enjoying Mass Effect. The official Quarterplay review is coming soon (and incredibly late, by internet news standards) -- maybe we'll call it the Mass Effect postmortem. Either way, it's Monday again, meaning of course it's time to enjoy some more free casual fare, courtesy of your ~~benevolent overlords~~ friends here at QPHQ.

This week we present you, dear reader, with The Game of Disorientation -- a fresh take on top down platforming, coming to you from the folks (single dude?) at Jiggmin. You control a lonely fellow and guide his journey around a small, terrifying room, often filled with spikes, hairpin turns and most terrifying of all....doppelgangers. Yup, I said it. The piece of the puzzle that challenges TGoD's traditionalism is in it's camera views. As opposed to presenting the player with navigation challenges, the game tries it's best to confuse the hell out of you by switching the orientation of the camera, which in turn results in objects that are seriously distorted as well as your character orientation becoming more and more confusing. You can pick up the game and finish it in 10 minutes (and in as little time as 2:33, if you're so inclined to top a leaderboard.)

Though we're inclined to buck trends rather than proliferate them, it seems we have one on our hands here with Casual Monday's pimping of Kongregate.com. The service has simply blown up in popularity since we first spoke about it way back when and it even got a bump from WhatTheyPlay founder (and ex-EGM Editorial Director) John Davison on the infamous 1UP Yours podcast. We again suggest to you that you snag an account and start building those new achievement points -- though we should also warn you, we are meth addicts. At least for achievement points. We'll see you here next week folks, with more free gaming goodness for you. Try saying that five times fast!

Quartermann Can't Help But Spill the Beans

2008-04-12T19:39:00.002-04:00

Those of you out there enjoying your weekend, what with all this beautiful weather, may have missed the latest 1UP Yours podcast -- though we can't feel responsible, as we do always remind you. Guest starring Geoff "Dean of Games Journalism" Keighley and Newsweek's N'Gai Croal, the usual crew chat about some interesting topics, ranging from EA's recent rescinding of plans to charge for Battlefield: Bad Company weapons to Denis Dyack's vision of a "one console future."

While all these things were all well and good, with between 21 and 20 minutes left in the show, EGM Executive Editor Shane Bettenhausen simply couldn't help himself amidst talk of the upcoming Xbox 360 "waggle wand" and spilled some serious beans:

"Sony also has a waggle wand, not for PS2, but for PS3."

Continuing, he says:

"Specifically with the PS3 one, it's not just a waggle wand, it's some sort of transforming controller that has multiple configurations. Call of Duty 5's gonna use it. Resistance 2's gonna use it. Apparently it's real....It was gonna be for Quartermann but I couldn't sit on it, so, don't tell him I told you."

There you go "kiddies", as Mr. Bettenhausen himself would say. Too bad we don't have an MS Paint mockup of the one he's referencing as well. Stay tuned! It could happen any day! Stranger things have happened.

Ziff Davis Says Goodbye to Another Staffer

2008-04-12T10:51:00.005-04:00

You heard about Ziff, man? He's gettin' played! First, his boy Luke Smith leaves for the comfy community manager seat at Bungie Studios. Then, his mentor (one of the head kahunas!) John Davison parts ways to start up something regarding children, parents and videogames. Oh, and he got punked the worst when his main man Mark McDonald left to simply wander the earth (a lot like Kane in Kung-Fu.) I don't know if he's gonna make it through this time -- Editorial Director Dan "Shoe" Hsu is leaving!

We could go on with our personification of the Ziff Davis Media group as a single man (named Ziff Davis -- how clever!), however, it's running pretty thin. For the purposes of full disclosure, personally, I'm a big fan of Electronic Gaming Monthly. Even furthermore, I'm a big fan of the integrity Dan "Shoe" Hsu brought to my favorite gaming magazine for the past gaggle of years. (Some examples of why he deserves this respect can be found here and here, among other places.)

Though we're pretty sure this doesn't spell the end for Electronic Gaming Monthly, it certainly doesn't help with public perception, especially in the context of their recent Chapter 11 filings. Shoe tries his best to soothe public reaction by noting in his personal blog, "This is my own decision; I'm not being forced out or laid off or anything like that. And this is not related to the recent news about Games for Windows: The Official Magazine (and I hope I'm not stealing any thunder away from those guys -- that's not my intention here). It's just time for me to move on."

In the meantime, Sam Kennedy (formerly Site Director of 1UP.com) has taken the reigns as Editorial Director of the 1UP Network (meaning the website, the magazine, etc. -- the whole shebang.) While there's still plenty of talent floating around the Ziff Davis offices, we hope the future of EGM isn't currently in question by the men in suits with the money. Again, on a personal note, I've been reading the magazine since I was eight years old and it would be a sad sad day to see them go. We're holding fast hope for the future of the Ziff Davis Media group. Let's hope y'all out there on these giant interconnected tubes feel the same.

Week-End Podcast Roundup -- The Future is Now Edition

2008-04-11T21:50:00.003-04:00

Well if it ain't been a busy week here on these giant interconnected tubes! Between the ~~public stoning~~ firing of Josh Larson and the veritable crucifixion of Games for Windows Magazine in the context of PC gaming journalism (we'll miss you GFW and furthermore, we'll keep reading you all on 1UP.com), our heads are spinning! Or maybe it's just the goddamn typhoon in the water from Phantom Hourglass that keeps picking up our hearty vessel and tossing her back into the cold, unforgiving waters. Either way, as Mr. Lee of 1UP Yours! is so inclined to remind us, weekend confirmed...

GFW Radio (feat. Jeff Green, Shawn Elliott, Sean Malloy, and Ryan Scott)
The GiantBombcast (feat. Jeff Gerstmann and Ryan Davis)
Joystiq Podcast (feat. Chris Grant, Ludwig Kietzmann and Justic McElroy)
The CAGcast (feat Cheapy D and Wombat)
The 1UP Show and 1UP Yours Podcast (feat. Garnett Lee, Shane Bettenhausen, ???, and Shawn Elliott)

And you know what? To hell with it. Just because we're upset at what CNet did months ago doesn't mean we can't show love to a podcast we've been listening to forever and, regardless of it's losses over the past year, is still hilarious. Of course we're talking about...

The HotSpot (feat. Vinnie Caravella, Brian Ekberg, assorted GameSpotters)

Enjoy this bounty of listening goodness. Forget about that 'nice spring weather' people keep talking about. Don't you prefer the warm glow of this monitor anyway? Seeya on the weekend folks!

Grand Theft Auto IV: A Limited Edition Worth Buying?

2008-04-11T16:46:00.009-04:00

An ongoing trend in gaming has been to release (at least) two SKUs: a standard retail edition (just the game) and it's more expensive counterpart (the 'limited edition.') A lot of these packages (such as Devil May Cry 4) are really lacking in content for your dollar; however, every once in a while, we are treated to a truly fantastic and worthwhile limited edition (such as Bioshock, even if the mini-Big Daddy’s arm was broken.) Luckily, taking a cue from earlier successes, Rockstar Games has announced their incredible limited edition.

The limited edition bundle, which will retail for $89.99, is a myriad of wonderful GTA IV related products. For starters, the whole thing will be given to you in a functional, fireproof, GTA IV emblazoned lock box. Bolt that thing to the floor of your closet and keep your valuables in there (ed. -- will my original Famicom copy of Doki Doki Panic fit?!) You’ll also receive a GTA IV art book, and soundtrack CD (traditionally, the GTA soundtracks have been at least seven or eight albums in length.) This leads us to conclude that this is going to either be background music from the game or a sampler. Either way, we're cool. Also included in the package is a black duffel bag that, unless I’m wrong, will either have the GTA IV logo or the Rockstar logo on it. You’ll also receive the game, of course.

Buying this is definitely a worthwhile purchase (Simple math: lockbox + duffel bag + GTA4 = win.) It’s a steep price tag, but one that we don’t mind so much this time. We recommend reserving this at your nearest game retailer as (supposedly, like the cat helmet) it’s a very limited production and it would be a cryin' shame to miss out on all this schwag.

A limited edition worth buying? We think so.

*Note: Even though the PS3 version is pictured, it is available for the Xbox 360 as well. I just couldn't find a decent sized picture of the Xbox 360 bundle.*

Wii Tart... I Mean Kart

2008-04-10T20:31:00.010-04:00

What if I told you there was a brand new five minute Mario Kart Wii trailer? Now what if I told you it wasn't exactly so much a trailer as a leaked gameplay video? And what if I replaced five minutes with two hours? What if you hadn't already seen this via Wii Fanboy?

OH THE IMPLICATIONS!

Guitar Hero Goes "On Tour"...Loyal Fans Lament

2008-04-10T15:38:00.004-04:00

Do you see that, loyal Guitar Hero players? Take a good look at it. Activision will have you believe that it is Guitar Hero: On Tour, releasing on the Nintendo DS in June. I see it as something different: it is the symbol of Activision’s mutation of Guitar Hero as a respectable franchise into a cash cow.

Before I degrade Guitar Hero: On Tour, here’s what it’s all about. Activision wanted to make Guitar Hero go wherever you go, not unlike a stalker. Worse, instead of dressing the stalker up like a shady dude and making him look creepy, they’ve disguised this stalker as one of your best and most loyal friends.

In order to wield the beast you see above, you must hold your Nintendo DS in what is called “vertical book orientation” (see Brain Age.) For strumming, you will use a “specialized stylus-shaped pick” to strum. For hold notes, performing small rotations on the string will activate the whammy effect. For fretting, Activision has decided to include a small peripheral that has four buttons – translation: the orange button got axed.

Now there are a million reasons why this is going to make me angry, but near the top of the list is the lack of orange. Of all my friends, I know that many of them were doing fine (playing GH 1-3) on Easy and Medium but hit a brick wall on Hard and Expert simply because of the orange button (though in Guitar Hero III: Legends of Rock, “Raining Blood” sufficed as the block.)

So without the orange, consider this: many of your favorite Guitar Hero tracks would be impossible. The following tracks would not have been possible without orange: “Jordan,” “Hangar 18,” “Raining Blood,” “Through the Fire and the Flames,” “YYZ,” and many other songs, just to name a few. Furthermore, without orange, the game technically should have no higher difficulty than Medium, though I imagine they’ll be upping the complication and frequency of the buttons to make up for this (poorly.)

What else is wrong with the game? Plenty. The arrangement of the buttons is a big mistake -- you’re going to hold this thing out in front of you, and strum onto the DS (which I’m sure will result in plenty of sobbing children, broken DS on the ground.) The challenge of this game is going to be non-existent; finger-tapping, a skill that only the Guitar Hero elite possessed before, will now be available to the masses.

The developers decided at this point, “Hey, you’re already looking silly enough, what with a large multicolored tumor sticking out from your DS! Forget about tilting anything to activate “Star Power,” let’s make you shout at your handheld gaming system!” That’s right, Activision has decided that in order to activate “Star Power,” you’re going to have to exclaim “Rock Out!” into the Nintendo DS’ ~~pitiful~~ powerful microphone. This is one of those ideas. You know those ideas. Conceptually it’s not a bad idea, until anyone asks a question like, “Isn’t this a portable system? Won’t people look like complete asses shouting into their portable system?”

If it’s portable, why do I have to scream at the Nintendo DS? I, like many other commuters, play my Nintendo DS along my commute. I’m quite sure that no one sharing a bus or train with me will be bothered by me repeatedly screaming “Rock Out!” at my Nintendo DS until it finally complied (if it ever does) while they are trying to read their newspapers. Considering QPHQ is based out of Philadelphia, chances are I’d end up shot. And probably laughed at by the other passengers (that’s AFTER the shooting.)

Talking about any Guitar Hero game would be impossible without mention of the track list. While no particular songs have been announced, there is discussion of getting master tracks from Nirvana, OK Go, and No Doubt. (A song by OK Go, “Do What You Want,” was used in the official trailer, but since Velvet Revolver’s “Slither,” was used in the trailer for Guitar Hero III: Legends of Rock, and did not appear in the game until much later as downloadable content, don’t hold your breath for “Do What You Want.”)

I visited the official website for Guitar Hero: On Tour to try and find more about the soundtrack and all I could find was this snippet, "the most diverse set of master tracks ever on a Guitar Hero game." Ironically, the game’s press release had more info than the promotional website, stating, “the most diverse set list of master tracks ever offered in a Guitar Hero game, including classic rock, alternative and pop favorites such as Nirvana, OK Go and No Doubt.” I’m wondering just how much “diversity” Activision will squeeze onto that little Nintendo DS cartridge, but I guess I’ll found out in June.

Like so many other Guitar Hero loyalists, I shivered at the thought of this game. Now it’s apparent that my worst nightmare is coming true; Guitar Hero sold out. Activision has become so concerned with putting out a new Guitar Hero every October, creating nonsense expansion packs, and now, producing a ridiculous incarnation of the game, I’m afraid they’ve forgotten what this franchise is about -- sitting back with a couple friends and feeling like an idiot as you rock out in your living room.

Look forward to the exciting second part of this article in June when I will blow $49.99 on Guitar Hero: On Tour just to spare all of you from having to buy it.

Metal Gear Solid 4 Getting the Halo 3 Treatment

2008-04-10T12:24:00.004-04:00

As if $130 cat helmets weren't enough. In Japan, Hideo Kojima and co. know how to really get your money. Pricing was handed down from Konami today detailing the (have you heard this before?) three SKUs they're selling MGS4 under.

There's everyone's favorite, the basic $60 price point. Unsurprisingly, there's also a "Limited Edition," priced at $85 and, according to Konami's press release:

"Featuring collectible packaging with exclusive artwork by famed Kojima Productions illustrator Yoji Shinkawa, the Metal Gear Solid 4: Guns of the Patriots Limited Edition will contain everything that is included with the Standard Edition as well as an additional Blu-ray disc featuring two "making of" documentaries. The documentaries will include extensive interviews with Metal Gear Solid creator Hideo Kojima and the Metal Gear Solid 4: Guns of the Patriots Soundtrack CD. The Limited Edition will be available exclusively at GameStop."

You catch that last line? Available only at GameStop. As Kotaku stated, "While the release is pretty straight forward about this, saying the game will only be available in North America on June 12 through GameStop, I actually called to verify and was told that as of right now they have no plans on selling it anywhere else...in North America. Ever." That's no joke. But here's the kicker, there's a third SKU that you may not have considered. We're dubbing it the, "Milk You For All You're Worth" SKU. Yep, that's right, it's the whole damn system. This thing right here.

The argument in favor of purchasing this system is clear, as we've discussed before. If you don't own a PS3 yet (like us) then this is the SKU for you to get. Unfortunately, if you're a helpless MGS freak and you already own a PS3, well, you're probably pretty upset right now -- though in fairness, unlike the Halo 3 version of this for Xbox 360, the PS3 you'd end up with doesn't come in "Metal Gear Grey" or have an etching of Solid Snake's glorious new mustache. This SKU costs $499.99 (which, again, is a bargain considering what you'll get in the package) and will most likely leave you grinning ear to ear (that is, unless you're bringing home this big box to a standard definition television.) All this stuff is available on June 12, just in case you forgot.

Anecdote Proven or Wave Goodbye to the WaveBird

2008-04-09T14:14:00.005-04:00

Though it seems like years since we were first deafened by the ~~completely unnecessary~~ epic opening of Super Smash Bros: Brawl, we do remember very distinctly hearing a GameStop employee say those soul crushing words on that immortal night, "We've been looking for days. The closest GameStop with WaveBirds in stock is in Massachusetts." We felt a lot like Kyle Broflovski, being told for the hundredth time that we should stop asking Cartman to jump over homeless people with his skateboard -- "GODDAMNIT!"

At the time, we figured (like most of you probably did) that Nintendo, loving money, would keep making the seminal controller. Apparently, we're all stupid and wrong. According to a Joystiq piece from months ago, they aren't making any more at all! And there we were, just thinking, "No big deal! There'll be more!" According to a Nintendo customer service representative, "I haven’t heard of any plans to offer the WaveBird Wireless Controllers in stores again (I did some checking, and we are still shipping the original Nintendo GameCube Controllers to stores). If you’re unable to find the original Nintendo GameCube Controller locally, you can still order this item from us."

Fantastic. If you're looking for short-wired, 25 dollar, seven-year-young controller, Nintendo's got you covered. If you're looking for the best wireless controller ever created (before PS3 and Xbox 360 came along, of course), Nintendo wants you to know that you can go f yourself. Ebay it is.

Yeeeehaw! Earthworm Jim and More Returning from Interplay

2008-04-09T12:55:00.004-04:00

In the immortal battle cry of a worm in a space suit we bring you news today that Interplay, notorious creator of Earthworm Jim, among other things, has announced their intentions to re-create their ~~old~~ classic IP's for now-gen hardware. You might be thinking to yourself, "Ok, sure, but what have they done for me lately? Earthworm Jim 2 was pretty good, but it also came out in 1995. And don't even get me started on that N64 fiasco. Do these games even hold up at this point?"

This morning, for the first time in years, I connected my Sega Genesis to the television. Carefully, gently, I blew out the bottom of Earthworm Jim, one of three Genesis games still in my possession (where did you go, Mario Lemieux Hockey?!). Lovingly, the cartridge met with the system, and it was good. OR!

Yeah, dude, game totally holds up. Shit's still funny. Controls are pretty tight. Be excited.

Though we can't necessarily say the same for Descent or MDK (though back in the day, we loved us some Descent and Fire & Ice), we imagine Interplay will do us all a solid on EJ. Between Capcom remaking Bionic Commando and 1942 (among others) and now Interplay announcing this, we've got a veritable gaming renaissance going on. Now if only Philly Brewing Company would remake some mead.

That Voice Just Come Outta That White Boy?

2008-04-08T16:04:00.003-04:00

Is it rockin'? It's sooo rockin', and you damn well know it. Is it really getting rickrolled if you know what you're getting into? Hawty McBloggy, though conspicuous in her post (and hilarious in her title), pointed us over to a terrifying possibility -- Guitar Hero: Rick Astley. Does Activision know they're about to become the winningest developer in the whole world? Okay, this is just a user created situation above, but still, the possibility alone is diaper-soiling terrifying! Be glad you haven't seen pictures of the smallest girl in the world yet. Uh oh...now you've seen both and you're tainted like me! Good luck!

Gerstmanngate Comes Full Circle

2008-04-07T16:29:00.004-04:00

It was a cold day in Philadelphia when the news hit that Jeff Gerstmann had gotten the sack. I was a younger man then, turning the rambunctious age of 23, and things were simpler. There were hundreds of AAA games being released simultaneously and all the little gamers were abuzz about Mountain Dew Game Fuel. (you'll find it under the 'variants' subheading -- how tasty sounding.) Alright, it was only five months ago or so, but it did happen on my birthday (coincidentally also the best day of the whole year, ever.)

Well today, we're receiving news that the man potentially responsible for Senor Gerstmann's sacking has been sacked. Vice President of Games at CNet, GameSpot's parent company, Josh Larson will be leaving/is being forced out under these terms, "[a] new management structure means that Josh Larson's position as VP, Games is being eliminated and Josh will be leaving the company."

According to a posting at Gawker Media outlet Valleywag (parent and sister site to Kotaku, respectively) by an unspecified alleged GameSpot employee (posting under the dubious name 'gamespot'), "Our last executive editor, Greg Kasavin, left to go to EA, and he was replaced by a suit, Josh Larson, who had no editorial experience and was only involved on the business side of things. Over the last year there has been an increasing amount of pressure to allow the advertising teams to have more of a say in the editorial process; we've started having to give our sales team heads-ups when a game is getting a low score, for instance, so that they can let the advertisers know that before a review goes up."

And it just gets worse from there. Here's hoping that if Larson was the man responsible for the firing of our favorite HotSpot member, he's at least getting kicked in the crotch once or twice. Oh, and just in case you forgot, here's what Gerstmann (among other ex-GameSpotters) are doing with their time now.

Ikaruga Gracefully Lands On Xbox Live This Wednesday

2008-04-07T13:14:00.007-04:00

We were too young or too distracted back in the day when Ikaruga was released to have actually played it, unfortunately, and that's why re-releasing games like this (and Rez, for that matter) through digital download is a great idea. The majority of us here at QPHQ downloaded Rez and thoroughly enjoyed it, which may in turn directly lead to us snagging this one (for the increasingly popular price of 800 space bucks, or $10 of U.S. Bank Notes, if you're into that whole actual currency thing.)

Also of note this week, sleeper hit Poker Smash is releasing some expansions for the oh-so-nice price of 100 space bucks each ("two Action Mode Environments in the Environment Pack and an additional 15 Puzzles in the Puzzle Pack", respectively.) This of course changes the marketing plan in distinct ways, as the game now has, "[a] total of 13 immersive environments and 70 mind bending puzzles[!]." We're excited too, just not PR-excited.

All of this tasty and delicious information comes to us courtesy of Microsoft's Gamerscore Blog, our number one source for posturized information that we must then sort through and re-tell (more) honestly. Oh, and yes, we did just make up the word "posturized." Copyright!

Casual Monday -- Everyone's Always Right Except Me Edition

2008-04-07T10:59:00.003-04:00

People talk a hell of a lot about this Desktop Tower Defense business and have been for months now. Well, us here at QP, never wanting to believe the hype (Chuck D told us not to), hadn't checked it out until bright and early this morning when we were ~~scrounging~~ searching for a good Casual Monday title.

This game is a great throwback. For those of you who spent hours hurting your neck, back and hands playing Rampart on the Atari Lynx (yeah, I had one of those), this game is perfect for you (and you don't have to sit in horrific pain anymore either!) There's multiple levels of toughness, quickly ramping up in difficulty and sucking away at your free time like you wouldn't believe. But you will believe, if you go play the game that is. It's Monday, you've got time.

This Dude Has More Nintendo Stuff Than You

2008-04-07T10:40:00.002-04:00

Clearly. And this is just the beginning. We'll spare you the rest of the photo layout -- it's kind of terrifying. Seriously though, we like Nintendo quite a bit (we've owned every Nintendo console evaaarrrrr!), but this is more than a bit much. And here I am, thinking it was weird that I still own a wind-up koopa troopa from a McDonald's Happy Meal...

At any rate, I suppose we applaud(?) the owner of this veritable menagerie of Nintendo-themed items and wish them the most of luck in their day to day social interactions with other humans. No no, take off the human skin mask first, then go out into public! Good!

(via Kotaku)

Please More Gameplay -- The No More Heroes Review

2008-04-06T20:14:00.005-04:00

Travis Touchdown is a stone-cold murderer -- the geekiest one that you could possibly imagine. Johnny Bravo meets Han Solo meets Jeffrey Dahmer: they all get drunk and spawn an abomination. He loves lucha libre, gratuitous swearing, cutting people straight in half and trying to nail his blond haired assassination-lifestyle facilitator. Right off the bat, you're thrown into his persona full-force and to be perfectly honest, it doesn't feel so bad.

Let's be up front about this -- No More Heroes is charming. It's perfect for the gamer crowd, at once appealing to a variety of different subcultures: wrestling, anime and kung-fu, among others. Those exact gamers will quickly realize (unless they're card carrying lucha libre mass murderers themselves) there's not much more to this game than it's initial novelty (not to be confused with actual character.) Suda 51, Grasshopper Manufacture CEO and the man responsible for NMH (as well as Killer 7) set out to make a statement and in some respects, delivers on that promise. He clearly states his desire to create fringe/strange games with repetitive gameplay yet (at least initially) hilarious cutscenes.

This game is through and through a hack'n'slash, allowing nearly-falling-off-the-hinges loose controls as to lower the barrier of entry for Wii gamers -- and thusly gimping the game's controls for anyone able to grasp the mash-mash-slash combat system.

The main story is the big standout in the game and we'd feel a hell of a lot better about NMH if it would have allowed us direct access to that. The mindless minigames and brutally incomplete open-world you're challenged with navigating feel woefully cobbled together and exacerbating the situation, the one vehicle you own handles worse than it looks.

(This is how shitty it looks)

And it handles worse than that. We here at QP want you to think about that. Anyways...

Surprising as it may be, the biggest problem with NMH is that it's all 'vision' (our favorite buzzword, what's yours?) Mr. 51 has some great gameplay ideas, his problem is that he's poor at implementing those ideas without hurting other pieces of the pie, so to speak. For every Cowboy Bebop-esqe showdown with a boss where our man Travis Touchdown talks smack throughout the whole fight, there's an infantile coconut collecting minigame (and you can interchange 'coconut collecting' with a small variety of other silly titles if you're so inclined through actual gameplay.)

All in all, while NMH and Mr. 51 have proven that weird, (sort of) indie games can be great at times, big undertakings like this may profit from either better editing or larger development teams/more experienced developers. We are still looking forward to your masterpiece, sir. Don't let us down.

Infinity Ward Drops COD4 Maps, Local Blogger Fails Classes

2008-04-06T13:00:00.016-04:00

The new Call Of Duty 4 maps were released this weekend to much fanfare and many complaints. I wasn't even able to download the maps until last night because of several different error codes. Several threads found on the XBL forum mirrored my own problems, including such gems as: Why can't I buy microsoft points?, Microsoft points not downloading, and best of all Xbox live doesn't allow me to update my Call of Duty 4. Apparently some of these kids tried for two straight hours to download this stuff, and after finally getting my hands on 'em, it's hard to blame them.

Of the four maps released (Chinatown, Creek, Broadcast, and Killhouse), I've so far played the former three. (Killhouse is a one-on-one map available via the 'Cage Match' matchmaking option.)

Chinatown is a close quarters, urban shoot-out. Check those windows because almost all buildings are two stories and many firefights are window to window. Picture District, only now with the ability to enter all buildings.

Broadcast draws off it's older compatriot's maps by getting sliced out of the single player mode and dropped onto our gaming plates. This large map features an extensive indoor battle ground filled with twisting hallways, and a substantial outdoor section including the rooftop of the main building, and a bombed out building on the opposite side of the map.

Creek is a massive walk in the park. Two towns separated by a huge ravine and connected by a cave set the stage for this surprisingly balanced snipe fest. Although I did experience one, several respawn streak of getting my face sniped off, all other experiences on this map have been heartily satisfying.

Finally, Killhouse. This map is, well...an enigma. I haven't been tossed into it yet, though I played cage match and the variety map pack match-a-making for an hour today. I can't help you here just yet.

The new maps are thought out very well -- more so than the originals -- and refresh the excitement I first felt when playing COD4. You'll find some interesting angles (A broken plank in an outhouse anyone?) more intense fire fights, and clearly thought out, well balanced level design. Oh yeah, and it'll set you back $12.50 (ouch), but any battle hardened COD4 vet should know it's money well spent for more great content from Infinity Ward. (Even though, seriously, it should be free. But that's for another piece entirely.)

(Pictures via GameSpot)

Teenage Kicks All Through the Night, Come On!

2008-04-04T21:49:00.003-04:00

Normally we keep ourselves from commenting on rumor and speculation, but here we are, doing just that. Our favorite (English) clandestine writer Surfer Girls Reviews Star Wars has just let all of us in the intertubes know that Guitar Hero IV will include cult classic "Teenage Kicks" by The Undertones, and we can't help it -- it's one of our favorites.

In case you were wondering, The Undertones are known for being an awesome band that toured with The Clash years ago. Does this have anything to do with videogames? Only in the sense that it's appearing in a game we're thoroughly disinterested in otherwise (weekly updates from Rock Band anyone?) Enjoy the video though. The Undertones are fantastic!

Week-End Podcast Roundup -- Won't Get Fooled Again Edition

2008-04-04T17:31:00.004-04:00

April Fool's Day means nothing but bad news bears for suckers like me, a sucker who would allow himself to get fooled by a website he had never heard of none the less, and frankly, I'm glad it's over. The Spring rain has begun in a big way and with it, we've been relishing the opportunity to enjoy the indoors -- penning a review or two, analyzing Quarterman's latest rumors, and of course, listening to podcasts. Additionally this week, we're adding another Ziff Davis product, GFW Radio, not only to round out podcast coverage but also because it's damn hilarious. With respect and honor, we bring you this week's podcasts. "Weekend confirmed!"

GFW Radio (feat. Jeff Green, Shawn Elliott, Sean Malloy, and Ryan Scott)
The GiantBombcast (feat. Jeff Gerstmann and Ryan Davis)
Joystiq Podcast (feat. Chris Grant, Ludwig Kietzmann and Justic McElroy)
The CAGcast (feat Cheapy D and Wombat)
The 1UP Show and 1UP Yours Podcast (feat. Garnett Lee, Shane Bettenhausen, ???, and Shawn Elliott)

The boys at GiantBomb aren't exactly shining in their latest bombcast and maybe it's the fatigue of building their site from the ground up on a daily basis, but it's also possible that they need a week off (and some more Alex Navarro) to liven things up a bit. Wombat (of UGO and CAGcast fame) goes as far as to call them out on ripping the CAGcast's style, though I think we'd all beg to differ on that one a bit. See y'all over the weekend! It's happy hour!

Why the Gaming Community is Amazing

2008-04-02T12:49:00.002-04:00

We could leave this video with the headline, letting everything speak for itself as it's entirely capable of doing. However, we want to use this space as an open thank you letter to the gaming community at large for doing everything mentioned in this story to help a local Philly resident get his stolen property returned. It's not often (at least for myself) that we use expletives in our posts on QP but to hell with it: fuck all of these son of a bitch robbers in Philadelphia. As someone who's car was broken into (for nothing!) recently in the "City of Brotherly Love," it's fantastic to hear the story of someone who got revenge. Wooo! Vigilante Justice!!!

Dualshock 3 Game Compatibility List

2008-04-02T12:22:00.005-04:00

Sony's US Playstation blog has released a list of compatible PS3 and PSN games for the Dualshock 3 (aka: the one with waggle and the weight.) The list is pretty extensive, covering the most popular games easily and including a lot that people probably aren't playing every waking second -- we're looking at you, High Velocity Bowling.

We can't help but point out the numbers though: 26 titles (PSN and PS3) were covered on this list and Wikipedia is telling us (though you must factor in the Japan/Europe exclusive games) that 332 games exist -- bit of a discrepancy, no?

Either way, the shiniest jewel dangling on this list is the inclusion of, "SCEA - PSOne Emulation (PSN)." QP is downright shocked that Sony actually made the effort to include rumble support for PSOne Emulation. This is probably just one more sign...the apocalypse really is nigh! What games are missing from this list that you'd like to see included?

The List:

SCEA - Formula One Championship Edition* (PS3)
SCEA - MotorStorm* (PS3)
SCEA - PAIN (PSN)
SCEA - High Velocity Bowling (PSN)
SCEA - MLB 08: The Show (PS3)
SCEA - Uncharted: Drake’s Fortune (PS3)
SCEA - Resistance: Fall of Man* (PS3)
SCEA - Ratchet & Clank Future: Tools of Destruction (PS3)
SCEA - Go! Sports Ski* (PSN)
SCEA - Folklore* (PS3)
SCEA - Heavenly Sword* (PS3)
SCEA - Warhawk* (PSN / PS3)
SCEA - Super Stardust HD* (PSN)
SCEA - Snakeball (PSN)
SCEA - Toy Home (PSN)
SCEA - PSOne Emulation (PSN)
SCEA - Piyotama (PSN)
SCEA - PixelJunk Monsters (PSN)
SCEA - Blast Factor* (PSN)
Sega - Condemned 2: Bloodshot (PS3)
Ubisoft - Lost: Via Domus (PS3)
Ubisoft - Tom Clancy’s Rainbow Six Vegas 2* (PS3)
EA - Burnout Paradise (PS3)
KOEI - Dynasty Warriors 6 (PS3)
Capcom - Devil May Cry 4 (PS3)
Atari - Dragon Ball Z Burst Limit (PS3)
Disney Interactive - Turok (PS3)

(* denotes downloadable patch necessary)

Like Sands In The Phantom Hourglass... [REVIEW]

2008-04-01T15:44:00.009-04:00

Developer: Nintendo

Publisher: Nintendo

Nintendo's latest installment of the Legend of Zelda series makes its debut on the DS in The Legend of Zelda: Phantom Hourglass. The fourteenth installment sees our hero on a quest to restore dominion of the high seas to its rightful ruler The Ocean King. Truth be told, this is the sequel to one of the few Zelda games I have not played (Wind Waker) and thus if I'm praising elements of Hourglass that were in Wind Waker...don't think poorly of me, I'm ignorant.

That aside, Hourglass is a visually appealing game that draws from the cell shaded art direction of Wind Waker but also takes from 2-D concepts found in black sheep LoZ: Four Swords. Luckily for us it does a great job of not taking itself too seriously (a la Ocarina and Link to the Past before it). Dialog and certain side tasks, aided by comical animations, are well thought out and often, laugh out loud funny. The characters are interesting and no one seems out of place or unnecessary.

The DS controls are fairly intuitive with about a 10 minute learning curve for experienced LoZ heroes. To attack you simply tap on an enemy as many times as needed and watch Link go to town. Shoulder buttons or tapping the item icon activates secondary weapons like the boomerang, arrow, or bomb. You control these the same way you use your sword, activate the weapon and then tap on an enemy. Some weapons like the boomerang and bombchus however can be used in a more precise fashion. You can draw the paths you want them to travel on the DS screen and viola, you've activated a normally inaccessible switch, knocked out a few enemies, or gathered a couple hard to reach hearts. In my opinion this is the best utilized combat system to date in any LoZ title; yes, better than Z-targeting).

In previous games, while the arrow and bomb were indispensable in your quest they were most useful for puzzle solving elements or specific boss battles -- this time around the easy touch targeting allows you to fire a devasting barrage of arrows at an oncoming herd of monsters. Furthermore, you no longer have to time a bomb throw to kill an enemy, it simply explodes on impact.

Much like in Wind Waker, the world map is the high seas. You can hunt for sunken treasure, fish, fend off pirate attacks and slay water monsters that lurk in the murky depths. There's an abundance of side quests to complete out on the ocean so being on the high seas doesn't feel like a waste of time. You can also customize your own skiff (see Gob Bluth: "... but Skiff is appropriate right?") ranging from demon decor to tropical trappings.

Hourglass is refreshing because it steers away from the traditional puzzle solving elements of Legend of Zelda. In previous assignments solving most puzzles involved making a block formation symmetrical or lighting a torch. This time around you'll find yourself mapping out specific parts of islands to find a pattern to draw, or a spot to dig. Don't be surprised if you find yourself yelling at a shopkeeper to get him to lower the price of a cannon, or getting an NPC character to pay attention to you. You'll even find your self blowing into the mic to put out candles, or screaming to incapacitate enemies with sensitive hearing. Another nifty aspect of Hourglass is the map function which allows you to draw and makes notes on sea charts and dungeon maps, something desperately needed in previous epics like Ocarina of Time and Twilight Princess, though impossible to implement on any system other than the Nintendo DS.

Nintendo does so much of the right thing so well that it's hard to penalize them for their shortcomings, but alas Hourglass does fall a bit short in parts. Many of the islands have the same color scheme and enemies making them a bit indistinguishable. After a while it feels like you're stuck in a bad run of Sim City map generators. Then there's the Ocean Temple which is the centerpiece in advancing the story. You come back here, what feels like more than periodically, to find sea charts to unlock more of the world map or complete other tasks. This would be perfectly fine if you didn't have to replay every floor of the dungeon each time you go back, and if you weren't timed. Granted you do get a halfway point, but the puzzles on each floor become more difficult the further down you get.

Legend of Zelda: Phantom Hourglass is a great game that both veteran and newcomers alike will enjoy. The story is funny, the tasks are less daunting than it's epic siblings, and most importantly it controls great and is simply fun to play. If you played this and didn't enjoy yourself, then you definitely would not enjoy kittens. Titles like this remind us why we're still such huge Nintendo fans. Now they just gotta fix that whole internet thing...

Epic's Mark Rein "Blown Away" by 50 Cent: BotS Graphics

2008-04-01T14:47:00.006-04:00

As we can't help ourselves but enjoy every second of information released regarding the upcoming ~~gansta desert shooter~~ gangsertooter 50 Cent: Blood on the Sand, CVG has a piece up retracing some incredible words Mark Rein, Epic VP, said back in November about a then-unannounced game in development using his comany's engine, Unreal Engine 3:

"I went to see the Swordfish [ed. BotS developers] guys and they haven't announced their game, but they're using Unreal Engine 3 and it's fantastic...I was blown away and I said to them, 'wow, you've got a really great team there.'"

Graphics mean a lot and I suppose it could look quite good...but, er, I mean, yeah? We're taking this one seriously? The new fitty game? Alright, I'll walk that road. But "blown away?" Serious words from a man who quite honestly is in a position to put meaning behind them. For now, keep your ear to the ground and your eye to the sky -- clearly the apocalypse is nigh!

Final Fantasy VII Remake Confirmed? FFXIII Demo Included in The Last Remnant? [UPDATED]

2008-04-01T01:43:00.008-04:00

[UPDATE]: This is, as the comments section suggests, definitely an April Fool's joke. As Joystiq puts it, "PSXExtreme didn't even try to be witty, they just went for some painful lies." Indeed they did. Pay no attention to the pontifications below.

News coming in from PSX Extreme is we'll be seeing some very big freebies included with upcoming Squenix developed PS3/360 game The Last Remnant. According to their "reliable source at SCEJ" (Sony Computer Entertainment Japan), packed into the box will apparently be "a 22-minute playable demo of Final Fantasy XIII [with the PS3 version]" and like the recently released God of War: Chains of Olympus teased the ~~obviously~~ currently in development God of War 3 for PS3, The Last Remnant supposedly promises a similar tease for a PS3 remake of Final Fantasy VII. Credibility is certainly lent to this story by a previous piece at CVG. However...

Here are the reasons why we're skeptical:

1.) The Last Remnant is the first Squenix game being developed using Unreal Engine 3, a distinctly western tool kit (aside from the fact that it was developed by Epic, an American studio), we imagine they're using UE3 specifically to appeal to western gamers.

2.) A release date for the game is still hazy, a TBD and a vague statement regarding 2008 are the only things Google has to show for it. These aren't the kind of things that often leak this far ahead of time, especially when there isn't a definitive release date. Truth be told, the official confirmation that Dragon Quest VIII would ship with a demo of FFXII wasn't until Sept. 21, 2005 -- the game shipped in North America on November 22nd of the same year (also a full year after it's Japanese release, mind you.)

3.) While The Last Remnant is being developed by Squenix, a traditionally Sony-oriented studio, the game is in development for both PS3 and Xbox 360. Unless Sony ponied up some serious moolah, we're doubting PS3 exclusive demos are included and we certainly don't think Squenix ambitious enough to announce anything formally regarding an FFVII remake at this point in time. Is it in production? Most likely. Is it coming anytime soon? We're putting our money on probably not. (If you're thinking to yourself, "Nah, I don't think Square would make a shiny new version of FFVII for the PS3. No way.", all you have to do is ask one question: Does Square Enix like making money?)

4.) This story from PSX Extreme, well, we've never heard of PSX Extreme. You may be asking your monitor," Well who the fuck are you?" And you'd be right. But still, have you heard of PSX Extreme? Here's their 'about' page. Read up. It looks legit enough. We're confused too.

5.) It's Square-goddamn-Enix. They are extremely notorious for pushing games back for extended periods of time and making grandiose claims, only to later backpedal or entirely retract. They hint at a lot of things and there's a hell of a lot of people out there hoping for this exact kind of information to come out -- so many in fact that it's possible someone could quite easily read the wrong way into something. That's all we're saying.

This stuff could all be true, and hell, we'd be all the happier for it. Though they'd probably stick disappointingly close to the original turn-based combat system that people seem to love so much, this blogger would love to see a Kingdom Hearts style remake, giant gunblade and all. Keyblades are for losers. Oh, and the chances of my version of a remake happening are right up there with pigs flying out of my butt and not getting hassled for your money at any BP gas station in North Philadelphia. Some things just weren't meant to be.

Casual Monday -- More Acheivement Points Edition

2008-03-31T11:21:00.005-04:00

Zombies, pirates, ninjas...do these things really get old? Though pirates and ninjas have a base in humanity's past, zombies stand out amongst these giants as they are clearly not a part of our past, but our future. Oh yeah, the zombie apocalypse is coming, you didn't know? It's good to have a plan. (And seriously, don't forget to bring a towel, seriously.)

A good way to practice for the upcoming slaughter, the alpha AND the omega, is to shoot the hell out of an endless stream of ~~our new overlords~~ mindless zombies -- and Sean T. Cooper wants to facilitate that. His development studio, Boxhead, focuses specifically on zombie related games, and for our Casual Monday purposes, he has created Boxhead: The Zombie Wars, available on his site as well as our new favorite site, Kongregate.com.

QP suggests playing it on Kongregate, and even furthermore, signing up for an account with them (yes, it's free.) Not only is there game tracking but also achievements for every game (god help us all) and chat rooms. It's all quite well integrated and stands as a great example of where the videogame industry is headed. Browser based digital life folks!

Anyways, Mr. Cooper started developing games way back in 1987 for Electronic Arts, "and they collectively sold 20 million copies plus." Now he just makes flash games for the hell of it. Sounds pretty ok to us, especially given the high level of quality inherent in Boxhead's games. We suggest perusing their website as well as Kongregate, though you may beat us to the punch in future editions of Casual Monday. On second thought, relax, let us sort through those games for you. You deserve a break. Seeya next Monday folks.

Double Vision? (or) Michael Pachter Confuses the Shit Out of Me

2008-03-31T02:51:00.003-04:00

Grand Theft Auto IV is less than a month away at this point and (especially after just finishing Crackdown) all of us here at QPHQ are psyched as, well, as everyone else we suppose. The battle is heating up over where the game is going to end up; Halo 3 and Call of Duty 4 were the last two games with similar selling power to be released, the latter of which being one-console exclusive. Grand Theft Auto has always been associated with the Playstation brand, though all previous versions have ended up on Xbox as well as the PC, selling considerably less and finding their way to retail shelves months later. However, this time Microsoft has secured exclusive downloadable content for the newest installment in the franchise as well as pushing marketing strong like bear.

Honestly, in our opinion, things could go either way. We're betting on two-to-one sales or more on the Microsoft side of things, but that's just our humble opinion (having been gaming retailers ourselves on more than one occasion.) Michael Pachter, of Wedbush Morgan Securities, of the analyst breed, has offered his opinion on the subject in more than one instance -- unfortunately his responses somewhat disagree with each other. In the most recent episode of Bonus Round, the GameTrailers.com show hosted by Geoff Keighley (yes, that Geoff Keighley, our hero) Pachter was quoted as saying, regarding which console may bring home the most bacon:

"Perversely, I think it's still coming out for PS3 primarily. And I know there are more 360s out there but....much like Halo has been branded as an Xbox game and now an Xbox 360 game, people who own a 360, who own an Xbox consider it their game. GTA has always been a PS2 game. I think there's a large number of PS2 owners who've been waiting to buy their PS3 until this game comes out. So I think you're gonna see a big spike in PS3 sales."

Keighley, putting Pachter on the spot, asks, "What do you predict for the April sales for PS3 and 360?" Pachter's response was, "Xbox 360 sales will be 350(thousand) and PS3 sales will be 500(thousand). I think it'll be that kind of a difference."

Oddly though, Pachter is claiming quite the opposite to Take-Two, GTAIV's developer, in a recent research report, stating "he expects the company to sell nine million units within the first year of its release, six million of which will be on Xbox." Anyone else confused? We're not exactly high payed economics analysts, but this don't make no sense. Ideas?

Crisis Core: Final Fantasy VII Thoughts

2008-03-30T22:54:00.008-04:00

Final Fantasy VII has remained one of my absolute favorite games for many many years, though until now I've avoided the whole "compilation of Final Fantasy VII" crap except Advent Children (which was really just an excuse to see all the people and places in pretty graphics). But, after hearing all the chit chat about how Crisis Core actually didn't suck, I bought into it and, having just finished it, I must say that not only did it not suck, it was actually really pretty damn good.

Being the FFVII fangirl that I am, I was positively gleeful to be able to visit areas and meet people from Final Fantasy VII. Most of the areas were pretty faithful to the original game, which made for some nice nostalgic exploration.

I'd have to say that now, Zack is my favorite lead character from any FF I've played. Cloud was an asshole, Squall was an emo asshole, Zidane was fucking annoying, Tidus looked like Meg Ryan and Vaan needed to take his Ritalin. But Zack, Zack's a cool guy, which makes his tragic end all the more depressing.

The end...ah, the end. Players of FFVII already know how Crisis Core will end, but the way it ends was rather satisfying and pretty intense. It also brought a tear to my eye! A game hasn't made me cry in a while, so hats off to Squeenix for jerking my tears.

One beef that I have with all this compilation of FFVII stuff: Her name is Aeris. Remember that game, Final Fantasy VII? The game all these other games and movies and OVAs are based off of? Yeah. In that, it's Aeris. I don't give a shit what it is in the Japanese version. In the English version, it's Aeris, so keep it that way, don't change it to Aerith in everything else. It was bearable in Kingdom Hearts, because she wasn't a major character, and it was an alternate universe anyway. But this is the goddamn prequel to FFVII, she should have the same name. Aeris is prettier than Aerith, anyway.

Holy Crap, 50 Cent Lives in Connecticut!

2008-03-30T17:52:00.006-04:00

Regardless of the fact that now every time I visit my parents' house I have to watch my back for 'fitty', MTV.com has an hilarious piece up (by none other than Stephen Totilo of legitimate MTV blog 'Multiplayer', the poor bastard) wherein said interviewer is subjected to pulling literary blood from the stone that is 50 Cent's brain, which is located in fitty's head, in his Farmingdale, Ct. home. As someone from Connecticut and someone who's been to Farmingdale, the enormity of how funny 50 Cent walking around that town is may be lost on some of you. Trust us, it's pretty goddamn funny.

Whether or not you understand that level of comedy is one thing; fitty's new game "50 Cent: Blood on the Sand" (a sequel, mind you, to 2005's Bulletproof -- a million plus seller with lower than a 50% average on metacritic...), however, will assuredly leave you rotflmao all night long. Fitty himself, speaking about his input on the game, had this to say:

"I enjoyed 'Blood Diamond,' and I wanted to take some of that concept and move it into the video game front."

Right! Blood Diamond! Totally! Look, we get it, he's a mogul, right? He's not supposed to be the creative brains behind his ~~very very very silly~~ upcoming videogame, he's just supposed to look pretty and spit hot fire every now and then. Still, even though this game is being developed with Unreal Engine 3, we expect slim to none in terms of actual gameplay. As a person who has seen first hand the urban community's reaction to 50 Cent: Bulletproof (at least in Philadelphia), I can handily say these folks publishing Blood on the Sand should worry about their investment a little more this time -- the public may know better by now.

Oh, and we totally stick by Joystiq with this one (no pun intended) and we're also covering as much news about this mess as it unfolds. To see the original interviews as well as the original article (that may or may not be held together by hope and dreams), follow me there.

Kinky Gamers, Take Note

2008-03-29T16:25:00.002-04:00

Holy. Crap. We don't know any ladies daring enough to sport this outfit (well, maybe a couple), but we're not exactly sure if we want to see that. Actually, we're sure that we do not want to see that; something about a mute child, dressed in a green tunic, holding a piece of triforce between a woman's breasts is...deeply unsettling. Anyways, Etsy user TheVintageDoctor makes her ~~deeply unsettling~~ wonderful creations out of strong materials that she promises will stand the test of time, or in this case, sexual escapades:

"All knit fabrics are pieced together with wooly nylon - not regular quilting thread. This means that the seams actually expand along with the garment and snap back to their orginal shape - normal thread has no stretch whatsoever and unravels very very easily on knits."

We'll take your word on that one, Doctor. One thing we do know for sure -- she has a large zebra print backdrop just laying around. Those interested in the item to the left need go no further than this shop here. You'll find something more bizarre than the LoZ corset...like an Alvin & the Chipmunks one. Yup. Stir that one around your noggin'.

Week-End Podcast Roundup -- A Day Late, A Dollar Short Edition

2008-03-29T13:21:00.004-04:00

And yes, it's Saturday. Officially the weekend but also roughly one day late on the podcast roundup train schedule. Sorry about that folks, things were a little hectic around QPHQ yesterday and thus the unexpected delay. Regardless of our tardiness, we come bearing promises of games reviews very shortly (No More Heroes and The Legend of the Zelda: Phantom Hourglass to name a few) as well as a full on site revamp in the coming days. Though a few new features will be added, the biggest update will be basic functionality. But enough about us, we're here to tell you about this week in podcasting, so let's get to it...

The GiantBombcast (feat. Jeff Gerstmann and Ryan Davis)
Joystiq Podcast (feat. Chris Grant, Ludwig Kietzmann and Justic McElroy)
The CAGcast (feat Cheapy D and Wombat)
The 1UP Show and 1UP Yours Podcast (feat. Garnett Lee, Shane Bettenhausen, ???, and Shawn Elliott)

The 1UP Show was especially good this week, just so you know, with a hilarious Lost Odyssey shoutout near the end -- that's all we're sayin'. In 1UP related news, we were cruising the most popular gaming stories on News4Gamers and stumbled upon this. Now, first of all, we know that NeoGAF is, "the preeminent video game industry discussion community." That's fantastic, and by those standards (I suppose?), they don't moderate when people post info straight out of print magazines (though they really should.) This seems kind of...embarrassing? Ridiculous? Fucking rude? This is the magazine journalism equivalent of going to a movie line and reading the script out loud. What a bunch of louts.

Anyways, the boys at the 'Stiq have clearly caught their stride, as their podcast has become better and better. Also, Vinnie Caravella and Brian Ekberg are jointly saving GameSpot's ailing Hotspot podcast, as the vast majority of talent at GameSpot has left for ~~better~~ other things, or, ya know, been sacked. Enjoy your weekend, we'll seeya Monday!

Portal Lovefest Continues, When Will it Stop?

2008-03-28T09:47:00.003-04:00

Gamasutra is an interesting website that we don't acknowledge enough, as gamers, for their contributions. They employ exactly the kind of journalism we need more of in this industry, delving deeper into your favorite (and not so favorite) videogames and engaging the developers for insight after the game ships. For instance, this piece by Brandon Sheffield where he interviews Kim Swift and Erik Wolpaw of Valve Studios fame about their groundbreaking work, Portal.

Speaking frankly and interestingly about the development of Portal itself, as well as the minutiae of design at Valve (here's a hint, it involves a lot of gameplay testing), Kim and Erik touch on lots of interesting subjects -- especially given we may have actually listened to the developer commentary that comes with Portal...

Either way, some standout stuff from the interview (in our humble opinions) is the short dialog about a DS version of Portal (not coming anytime soon) and the (thousandth) confirmation that there is certainly more Portal coming. Also, and this is roughly the fifteenth time we've seen this or so, Mr. Sheffield asks Kim and Erik if GlaDoS is alive or dead. The song is called "Still Alive" people! Anyways, we promise, less Portal news. Seriously.

"Why People Don't Finish Games Anymore"

2008-03-28T00:56:00.007-04:00

1UP.com has a neat little feature up about why gamers tend to abandon games before they finish them. As a long-time sufferer of what I refer to as "gamer's ADD", I can relate to the article completely, especially this little bit:

"In other words, compared to the '80s, not as many gamers need to scrounge up pocket money or beg Grandma for pennies to buy the latest hit. Games have moved beyond a once-a-year treat at Christmas or birthdays that are subsequently picked apart and scoured for every second of available fun. Now, once a game loses the slightest bit of momentum, it's not difficult for gamers to find themselves lured away by another title."

Back in the SNES days, I had very few games, and I played through all of them obsessively. I have a game file on my Donkey Kong Country cartridge that has more hours logged into it than any RPG I own. Now, games have less of a novelty factor, and we feel less compelled to scour a game for every last little thing (how many people actually wandered around and got all those goddamn flags in Assassin's Creed?)

However, as of late I've been getting better about beating games. I've beaten all of my 360 games, and all but two of my Wii games. DS and PSP games are much harder for me to pay attention to, for reasons I cannot identify. I'll beat New Super Mario Bros....eventually...

Master Chief Mod for Unreal Tournament Elicits Hilarity

2008-03-27T12:27:00.004-04:00

Oh Microsoft, you so crazy! Allowing your lawyer to talk all that smack on his blog about your direct rival? Not what we'd call "tactful", but hilarious none the less. Microsoft lawyer (and serious smack-talker) Don McGowan, writing on his blog in response to the Business Week post regarding the use of a Master Chief mod in Unreal Tournament (on the PS3), had this to say:

"Actually it's nothing more than the Game Content Usage Rules in action. When these were developed, people all thought they were focused on machinima. The truth is that while they do address machinima they also allow for a lot of other things. Mods like this are one of them. The developers aren't selling the mod, they're not monetizing Microsoft's IP, they're just creating something to share their love of the Master Chief on a new platform. It's a great thing for us and a great thing for the gaming community. And much though I love my friends at Epic, Unreal Tournament isn't Halo. This will also remind people of just how great the Halo games are and remind them that if they're done with the user-created faux-Halo experience, the real Halo is available only on the Xbox 360. And no one is taking characters from PlayStation games (do they even have any games?) and putting them on our platform..."

Now we know this is a "playful stab" at their competitor but we can't help but point out it smacks a bit of arrogance and (especially given the internet-savvy profile of the gaming community) doesn't help to bolster Microsoft's "street cred" with the gaming pubic at large. While many commenters on his blog immediately pointed out that Microsoft's platform is so locked down that it wouldn't allow for this kind of user generated content, and thus why you haven't seen mods like this showing up in Xbox 360 games, we'd like to calmly point out Rock Band's character creation (though limited, we understand) as well as the fact that you can import YOUR FACE into Rainbow Six: Vegas (1 + 2, no?) Importing Kratos it is not, but the system isn't exactly hermetically sealed.

To be perfectly honest, though he clearly didn't need to post his two cents about Sony's game lineup, we prefer when these types actually say something that isn't straight up PR speak such as this. One commenter on his blog entry even went as far as to call him a fanboy -- he works for Microsoft, people! ::collective sigh:: Oh the internet...

Grand Theft Auto IV PS3 Map Leaks, Raises New Questions

2008-03-26T14:02:00.006-04:00

Of course it leaked. I mean, come on -- seriously. With less than a month and a half to go before it's release, Grand Theft Auto IV has been kept fairly well under wraps by developer Rockstar Games. Luckily for us, someone got antsy and felt as though they just had to go out and take detailed pictures of the map that may very well be shipping with the PS3 version of GTAIV.

These images are, as this often goes, still tentative as far as being the final product. Until you have the final box in your hands (which this map could very well have been from), you won't know for sure. Either way, based on the momentary grazing we gave it, we're inclined to trust it's validity (though trepidaciously.) To be frank, there's a hell of a lot of good games out right now and GTAIV is still a month off. Enjoy the time you have now to play those other games. This map is sweet and we surely looked through it, but hyping a game that will almost certainly deliver seems a bit like beating a dead horse, if you ask us. But that's only if you ask us.

Also, Rock Band was on sale at Amazon.com for $150 for PS3 and Xbox 360. The drums are still on sale for $54 and $68 (for Xbox 360 and PS3 respectively.) Just letting you know is all!

Microsoft: 1; Cheaters: 0

2008-03-26T12:22:00.001-04:00

Microsoft's Larry Hryb, aka Major Nelson, posted the other day about the recent action taken against achievement whores who took their uncanny obsession just a bit too far. Dirty cheaters are now to be shamed most publicly on Xbox Live, and will also have their gamerscores reset to zero. Turns out that honesty is, indeed, the best policy.

Dead Fantasy II -- A Monty Oum of Quality

2008-03-25T14:04:00.007-04:00

This is not for anyone in particular, it's for people who like things that are awesome, and only them. If you're smart you'll watch the whole thing from end to end, most likely forgetting to inhale while witnessing ridiculous fight scenes. From the creator of Haloid before it (as well as Dead Fantasy I), Monty Oum again brings incredible editing to a mashup battle of characters from separate videogame universes. As with DFI, he again pairs the flying, shooting, gunblade-pointing femme fatales of the Final Fantasy world with the massive-breast-wielding females of Dead or Alive fame.

Lots of your favorites appear here, with a promise in the future that, " You seriously have not seen anything yet." Oh dip! That's good to read, 'cause honestly, we were impressed as hell with Haloid alone. The fact that these are free makes them all the more impressive, from this blogger's humble perspective. Enjoy!

Casual Monday -- Dinosaurs With Feathers Edition

2008-03-24T14:22:00.004-04:00

Holy crap! It's past noon! Normally we like to have our Casual Monday section up and running early in the a.m., for your gaming pleasure. This week, however, we got caught up playing this game so much that we didn't even realize the time. I guess it's true what they say, "Time flies when you're driving over dead velociraptors." Oh well. As you may have inferred from our oh-so-clever title, this week's Casual Monday comes to you from Flashbang Studios, and is titled Off-Road Velociraptor Safari. Seriously, that's really the name. Amazing, isn't it?

The premise? You drive a Jeep Wrangler looking 4x4 over the scattered herds of velociraptors, sometimes deploying your medieval spiked mace to finish the job. There are achievements, points for just about everything and lots of good fun to be had. The driving mechanic isn't perfect but it's pretty frackin' good for a web-based, 3-dimensional, velociraptor murder sim.

Flashbang Studios have lovingly stated their intentions in creating this game on their website:
"Off-Road Velociraptor Safari was created in eight weeks. We made the game because we wanted to play it. Enjoy!"

There's a bit of a thinly veiled story regarding the velociraptors dead bodies and why you're bringing their carcasses to teleporters (they're being transported to the future where there's less meat -- obviously.) The company you work for has littered the ancient terrain with boxes of supplies, teleporters and conveniently placed jumps, which is mighty nice of them, don't you think?

Seriously though, did you really need a story for this? This is gold. Why aren't you playing right now?

Mainstream Assimilation -- The 2008 New York Auto Show

2008-03-23T17:25:00.012-04:00

Though strange and possibly hard to believe, the auto industry and the videogame industry in America are tied together in a variety of ways -- whether it be Pontiac paying homage to Spyhunter with their newest commercial (as seen above), Dodge hosting Wii Sports and Guitar Hero 3 kiosks on the edge of their 2008 New York Auto Show floor displays or Lexus sponsoring a massive Gran Turismo 5: Prologue area for showgoers to check out (all seen below), this year's New York Auto Show was intricately permeated with nods to the videogame industry it has repeatedly collaborated with. We scoured the floor and were there to play GT5:Prologue (in stupid automatic only, unfortunately.) It's quite possible there was a brand new Nissan Skyline GTR, also...

As you see above, one excited security guard was left to insure no one tried making off with these huge metal contraptions that housed GT5:Prologue -- foiled again! These wonderful looking machines came equipped with a go and stop pedal as well as a non-force feedback wheel. This should be read as, "These machines were excellent at showing GT5: Prologue and nothing else." We here at QP appreciate the fact that these machines were open to the public and thus need as few barriers to entry as possible, however, it's goddamn Gran Turismo. The game is meant for racing/car enthusiasts and is damn near worthless to play in automatic, none the less with no force feedback. We digress...

That's right. Pictured above is certainly Guitar Hero 3, surrounded by a line all day. Though tempting, we didn't bother melting the faces of all within the Jakob K. Javits convention center with our ridiculous shredding abilities. We can't stress enough how intelligent it was of Dodge to sponsor this kiosk on the edge of their event, especially given the amount of children nipping at the ankles of their enraptured parents.

We spotted this bad guy wondering around the Mercedes-Benz show floor, throwing out koopas and kidnapping squeaky-voiced strawberry blond ladies...errr...looking at a classic Merc -- fiiiiiine. Though you'd think a Bowser sighting would be the scariest encounter one could have here, you'd be mistaken...

Unfortunately, there was no removable gatling gun, but this ~~complete ripoff~~ concept Hummer is "modeled after" the legendary, multiple Halo-traversing, Warthog. The Hummer floor rep noted this model is most likely not headed for production, though it was hard to hear him given how completely full of shit his mouth was. Yeah, we don't like Hummer or PR reps (and no, we refuse to make the obvious joke.) Below is one more shot of the Hummer concept, provided for your viewing pleasure -- though if you're really looking for something amazing (and completely non-videogame related, sorry), scroll down a bit further to see a little sample of the (finally in America) Nissan Skyline GTR.

(No joke)

Week-End Podcast Roundup -- On the Road Edition

2008-03-21T17:24:00.006-04:00

If we're bringing you this week's podcast roundup, that means it's Friday and you're about to head directly into the week's end. As Mr. Garnett Lee says, "Weekend Confirmed!" We're all running around like crazy at QPHQ, frantically spring cleaning and trying desperately to complete Crackdown (and maybe even enjoy some Call of Duty 4 multiplayer) before GTA4 releases on April 29th. Do you ever get the feeling that you're hyping up a game too much and that doing so will sour the experience when it does finally release? That happened to me a bit with Halo 3, finding myself not even having finished the Legendary campaign months after it's release. Shocking, considering I've read all the books and the graphic novel (maybe I shouldn't announce that on the internet.) Anyways, here's this week's podcast roundup, starting with newcomer Giant Bomb's "GiantBombcast", and finishing up with the ever dependable 1UP Show and 1UP Yours Podcast.

The GiantBombcast (feat. Jeff Gerstmann and Ryan Davis)
Joystiq Podcast (feat. Chris Grant, Ludwig Kietzmann and Justic McElroy)
The CAGcast (feat Cheapy D and Wombat)
The 1UP Show and 1UP Yours Podcast (feat. Garnett Lee, Shane Bettenhausen, ???, and Shawn Elliott)

Though I usually take a long, warm bath, put on my smoking jacket, relax in the Barcalounger
and start a fire, for roughly four hours of podcast listening, this week it'll be nothing but my iPod and the Northeast Corridor of Amtrak. We'll see you later this weekend! (maybe...)

As If LEGO Alone Isn't Amazing Enough, Here's LEGO AND Portal -- Combined!

2008-03-21T10:49:00.001-04:00

The intrepid bloggers at Joystiq (in the middle of the night none the less) dug up this incredible stop-motion LEGO video based around Portal and it's omnipresent final song "Still Alive." Now, we understand, we've said a lot about the game some consider GOTY, but we can't help it -- it's an addiction. Doesn't it make you ridiculously happy to hear GlaDoS get down about coming out of beta and releasing on time?

Regardless, Nick Larsen Media, the one man show of media production that is Nick Larsen, needs to be hired by someone, and quick. Videos like this not only show creativity and intelligence but also superb editing skills and incredible patience. We applaud you, sir. Your work was an excellent way to start the morning, and for that, we can't help but appreciate it. Check the video here if you didn't already follow the bump up top.

One Video Will Make You Sick, One Video Will Make You Laugh -- Will You Choose Wisely?

2008-03-20T11:47:00.003-04:00

Guitar Hero: On Tour is something we've known about for some time. Repeated "leaks" (intentional or not) as well as straightforward answers have answered most of the very few questions people had regarding this game. Are you excited to bring a guitar peripheral with you for your DS? Yeah, thought so. Anyways, though we're not the biggest fans of Fox owned IGN (and not because it's Fox owned, but because it's a hack videogame website), they got that exclusive on the GH:OT reveal and we must give credit where credit is due (though we suggest you surf away from IGN quickly afterwards, as though a panther were chasing you.)

In case you'd rather not explore the horrible promotional video yourself, here's a breakdown: There's two middle-class, teenage white kids. They plug in a bunch of real band equipment (read as: cabinets, heads, generic amp switch-flipping), open their real electric guitar cases, only to find a DS Lite and a tiny little Guitar Hero themed peripheral -- this is where things get really crazy. They realize that their only possible option is also the most obvious one: they must look as silly as possible trying their best to play Guitar Hero (with only four fret buttons, mind you), rocking as hard as they have to (with a DS and a little fret board with, again, only four buttons, that plugs into their DS' GBA slot.

All in all, I'd say you shouldn't watch it, though in fairness, you do see actual gameplay (which looks about as ridiculous as you're imagining right now -- maybe more.) If you're one of those folks out there getting psyched for this, well, you're nuts. But that's ok, because so are we, though we don't share in your excitement. There are many ways to be nuts -- jeez. Now, if you've endured the video above, you should bask in the bedlam and additionally watch the completely NSFW and totally not videogame related video below. And remember, "RESPECTA LA DONA!" Oh my!

Oops! Playstation Europe Accidentally Drops Some Knowledge

2008-03-17T19:32:00.003-04:00

Oh noooes! Big mistakes from Sony, and not just in any language, but in SPANISH! Well, only sort of actually. In this humble writer's opinion, the biggest deal on here is the firm Home release date, though I'm sure some of you out there may disagree, and you can all go straight to hell. Either way, Sony has, shockingly, released a press statement regarding this entire list...and it kind of makes a lot of sense what they have to say:

"Internal working documents naturally have proposed dates against titles, but these change frequently and dates are not confirmed until issued as part of a press release or formal announcement. The same applies to titles of games, which may be working titles or placeholders subject to later confirmation."

And furthermore...

"As a result, no weight should be given to titles or dates that appear in this document, other than to those which have already been formally confirmed. We will not be commenting on any title mentioned that has not already been confirmed and/or given an official launch date."

In so many words, yeah this list leaked was totally super serial, but as with most projected release lists (none the less internal ones), all subject matter is subject to change.

Casual Monday -- Feed the World Edition

2008-03-17T10:21:00.003-04:00

Another week has begun, tired though we are, and as you should expect by this point, we're here to offer you another free casual game for your entertainment pleasure. Our selection this week comes inspired by our Week End Podcast Roundup, directly from our sordid weekend of podcast listening and museum visiting (also that damned GTA4 piece in EGM has forced us into a solid week of obsessive Crackdown revisiting.)

Regardless! This week's game is of the text based type and it's called, "Free Rice." The concept is simple: you are given a word and you must match it with it's synonym, which is one of the four answers offered. It's a never-ending, multiple-choice, vocabulary test. But there's a catch! For every answer you get correct, www.freerice.com will donate 20 grains of rice to the UN World Food Program (a program that feeds people in some of the poorest parts of the world.) All in all, this is a good deal. Even furthermore, while you're answering questions correctly, there's a cartoon bowl of rice on the right side of the page filling up with your donations -- it's hard to deny the attraction of feeding folks who need food by playing a free game.

Is the game going to change your life? Probably not, but it may change someone elses -- and that's no joke. The totals they've achieved since launch are pretty impressive as far as changing the world goes -- they also inspire you to play this game, should you think your contribution isn't going to help that much. Now go help some people, and learn some SAT words ...in toto. Yeah, I said it.

Faux Vintage Ads: Makes Mouths Happy

2008-03-15T12:53:00.003-04:00

39 entries to this amazing Worth1000.com contest are posted so far, nearly all of them stupendous. That most likely has to do with one of this contests caveats, "As always, quality is a must. We will remove poor entries no matter how much we like you." Harsh but fair, like a calm elephant -- right...

Standouts in the group for us were clearly the Wii Remote example posted right at the top of the first page, as well as the Playstation 3 ad. Good stuff. When you folks out there get a hold of Photoshop, some wonderful things happen from time to time. Us here at QPHQ are going to the museum and enjoying the rest of the weekend -- we'll seeya later...maybe...

(Enjoy the image, Katie?)

Week-End Podcast Roundup -- Out of O.J. Edition

2008-03-14T12:25:00.005-04:00

The weekend is nearly here and that means two things here at QPHQ: no more orange juice and lots of podcasts. Though we're all quite sad about the lack of o.j. around these parts, the plethora of videogame ~~listening goodness~~ podcastiness bestowed upon us weekly helps to quell the "werewolf rage" building inside of me. Thirst for citrus drink rising...

(Making it's debut this week, from Jeff Gerstmann and Ryan Davis [of GameSpot fame]):
The GiantBombcast (feat. Jeff Gerstmann and Ryan Davis)
Joystiq Podcast (feat. Chris Grant, Ludwig Kietzmann and Justic McElroy)
The CAGcast (feat Cheapy D and Wombat)
The 1UP Show and 1UP Yours Podcast (feat. Garnett Lee, Shane Bettenhausen, ???, and Shawn Elliott)

The guys over at GiantBomb have yet to establish a real schedule for weekly releases of their podcast, though they certainly come out once a week, often earlier than later. If you're like us, you'll just set up all these on your iTunes and enjoy them when they come through -- no skin off our backs. Now have a good weekend, all you folks out there in the middle of these huge, crazy tubes. We'll see you bright and early Monday morning with a casual piece of enjoyment that will also benefit some folks who aren't as lucky as you or I. For now, good night, and good luck. (OH! We almost forgot! Send us orange juice! Not from concentrate please, thanks.)

Hostile Takeover! EA Pushes Take-Two -- Hard

2008-03-13T13:52:00.002-04:00

We woke up this morning expecting puppy dogs and rainbows, not news of a hostile takeover! The internet has collectively exploded with news surrounding the recent announcement by Electronic Arts of their plans for a now hostile takeover of Take-Two Interactive Games, parent company of Grand Theft Auto developer, Rockstar Games. In fact, EA specifically notes Rockstar as their target in this acquisition:

"[Rockstar and its franchise Grand Theft Auto is the] primary interest of EA's attempted purchase of Take Two games.", said chief executive John Riccitiello.

"I believe the company is fully justified in calling themselves 'Rockstar' because that's what they are in this industry.", added Riccitiello.

In an effort to handle the situation, Take-Two has asked it's investors to, "take no action at this time in response to the announcement by Electronic Arts Inc. that it has made an unsolicited conditional tender offer to acquire all of Take-Two's outstanding shares of common stock for $26 per share in cash.

Consistent with its fiduciary duties, and in consultation with its independent financial and legal advisors, Take-Two's Board will review and consider EA's offer, and within 10 business days, will advise Take-Two's stockholders of the Board's position regarding the offer as well as its reasons for that position."

That first paragraph is comprised of words that are understandable and easy to read, it's that second that's a doozy. In so many words, the second paragraph says, "Please hold onto your stock for 10 days! Please! PLEASE! We're working on something!" As analysts have been saying since this whole debacle started, this acquisition is an inevitability. Sorry Take-Two, and good luck.

Also, here:

Fiduciary: of, relating to, or involving a confidence or trust: as a: held or founded in trust or confidence b: holding in trust c: depending on public confidence for value or currency <fiduciary fiat money> (Yeah, we had to look it up. Fiduciary? COME ON!)